Thursday, December 29, 2011

a year in photos

January: We hunkered down at home, staying warm and playing often!

February: Logan celebrated his 1st birthday!

March: I spent some time with my bestie, sis-in-law and mom-in-law at my aunt's paint shop in Denver. Wine and painting? Yes please!

April: A dream came true! I met Hanson, my childhood (and adulthood!) favorite band.

May: We moved in with my parents and on a rather warm day, my child flipped someone off! lol

June: Crazy-hot month! We took Logan to a local farm where it was nearly 100*.

July: B and I took a date down to Denver and saw Gavin DeGraw at a free show. It was so much fun!

August: We went to New West Fest for the 3rd year in a row! This marks Logan's 2nd concert in his life so far.

September: Another really warm month for us! Logan and I played at the children's garden.

October: Logan was a very serious dinosaur and quickly figured out how the whole trick-or-treating thing works.

November: I didn't take any pictures! AHH! I know right?! So this photo is from September of B fly fishing at the lake.

December: I had my first newborn photo shoot! It went well and I got some lovely shots!

Happy New Year everyone!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

skinny love

Bon Iver is my most favorite thing to listen to right now. Birdy, a youtube gal, covered his song and it's beautiful! His song Skinny Love is my fav and seems fitting for how things are with me right now.

I'm too thin. This is not news to me or anyone else, but I cannot even remember the last time I was 120 pounds. It has to be my first year of college which, if I'm counting right, was nearly TEN years ago. I hate how things don't fit well and how self-conscious I feel about it. Everyone compliments me and says nice things, but then they also say stuff like "you NEED that cookie-eat up girl!" and I say a quiet prayer that the cookie will help me gain some weight, but it doesn't.

This battle with my health has reached a breaking point emotionally. I'm done being angry, I'm just sad now. The pains are controlled with drugs for now and as soon as I can I will wean myself off. For now, that could be a year away. I'm seeing a nutritionist next week to make sure I'm getting enough calories and figure out how I can gain some more weight. I'm very tall and based on height and weight I'm underweight by at least 10 pounds. I felt best right around 130 which is where I was when B and I got married. My clothes fit well, I felt great and healthy. So that's my goal.

But never in my life have I ever felt so sad about food. It feels like divorce. I've never had one and both my parents are married, but I have friends and other family members how have gone through it. Giving up things I love like cheese, red onions, and buttermilk pancakes has me in tears. I broke down on Christmas Eve. We were on our way to a family party and I knew that there would be very little I could eat. I'd made deviled eggs and brought strawberries for dessert. I knew I could have those, but not all night! I managed with yummy meatballs and fresh veggies but OMG my heart was breaking when I saw the queso. No queso for me! Or the chocolate-covered peanut butter pretzels we got in a gift basket? Nope.

I've always had the kind of metabolism which has allowed me to eat whatever I want without gaining too much. The most I ever ate and gained weight was of course when I was pregnant. Now, I'm holding on to 120 pounds without letting one more pound slip off. This is not how our society thinks. I'm sure there are people out there who would scoff at me for complaining about how thin I am but they don't know me. They don't know that eating has become a dreaded chore for me, that I cry when I think about how I might never figure everything out that's bad for me and continue to live in pain. That scares the shit out of me.

A friend once pointed out how ironic it is that we as humans almost idolize food and how that is one of the 7 deadly sins (glutney) and yet I'll bet people are thinking way more about their next meal or snack than they are about anything else (like praying). I start thinking about dinner first thing in the morning, before I've even eaten breakfast!

Thank you, friends, for sticking with me through this mess. It means so much to me to have the love and support from all my family and friends. On December 30th it will mark one year since this all started. A whole year.

remember this


  • how Logan bangs on his door in the morning while saying "mama" & "milk" at the same time

  • how he climbs into bed with me and nuzzles his head into the crook of my arm as I cover us both up

  • how when I ask him to do his eyebrow trick he looks at me with the most beautiful smirk on his face and instantly bursts out in laughter at how talented he is

  • the way he gently wraps his hands around my head and looks me straight in the eye without saying anything

  • the way he  falls over in a fit of laughter from chasing the dogs around the house

  • how we read Where the Wild Things Are and how he points out Max, the dog and the moon on every page and shouts "No!" when Max does

  • the way he giggles in his time out chair and says "hi!" over and over, hoping to flirt his way out of time out

  • the way I can convince him that a cracker is a cookie

  • how big his heart is for me, always giving love and hugs

  • how much he loves his daddy

  • how he throws well with both hands

  • how he climbs up my legs so I'll hold him

  • the way he counts with me (I say one, he says two, and we both say three)

  • how he loves playing peek-a-boo and hide-n-seek

  • when I rock him before a nap and he reaches up to my face and names all the parts

  • how entranced he is with lights, any light, inside or outside, he's always pointing and saying "light on"

  • the way he says "love you" (la wou)

  • when he's sick and only wants me to comfort him

  • the way he smells after a bath


Monday, December 26, 2011

Dear Logan (on your 2nd Christmas)

Celebrating Christmas this year with you has been an incredible joy. I can't imagine a anything better than watching the smile spread across your face as your eyes set on all the incredible lights everywhere. It's such a beautiful smile. It did not take long for your to grasp what this Christmas was all about. You loved tearing the paper off your presents, being careful to hand me each piece to keep things clean. You ate just as much of the yummy food we did and then some. We certainly broke many of our rules about eating so many sweets in one day (whatever those are) and thankfully you still slept great. You have made this Christmas so special, Logan. We love you so much and could not be more proud of how you're growing into a little boy.

Here's what we did this Christmas:

On Christmas Eve we spent the day running around gathering last minute gifts for you and your daddy. I had a revelation that next year I will not be able to purchase your gifts while you're with me. We came home and wrapped everything up, watched the Broncos loose a game, and made some yummy treats for Great-Grandpa's party. Before we left the house, daddy decided it was time to turn your car seat around. You are only 6 weeks away from 2 years old and you've made it to 27 pounds. You LOVE facing forward!

We arrived there right at 5oopm and enjoyed hanging out with all your cousins, running around and playing with your new toys. Mommy and Daddy had to keep you from going upstairs--it was all you wanted to do! After the party we headed to Grandma Mac's, a tradition that is 3 years strong now. There, you played even more, staying up late and finally crashing after 10pm.

At 715 on Christmas day you woke us up saying "mama". I was thrilled that a) you slept past 6am and b) you woke up happy. We made breakfast and sipped on hot drinks. You love the juice boxes Grandma Mac gives you. While the frittata cooked in the oven we opened presents. You became very serious while opening each one and would immediatly say "out!" and daddy had to cut the toy out of its box.

Later, we took a walk with the dogs and you slipped on the ice a few times but handled it like a big boy, never crying. Mommy made lasagna for the first time ever and it was delicious! Although you didn't try it, you sure did love the garlic toast and black grapes. You went down for a nap and we watched a movie. It was so nice to just relax and soak in this beautiful day.

After your nap we headed to see your great Grammy. She loved the calendar we made her and you loved the truck she gave you. Then we headed to Lolly and Pops for a nice ham dinner and 9 holes of Wii golf. Lolly and Pop got you a train table and a train set which you love! You even sat on the table, something which we think you'll be doing a lot!

This Christmas was so special. It was as if it was your real first Christmas in which you were able to participate and understand that under all that paper was something fun to see. With time we will do our best as your parents to teach you the true meaning of Christmas, of baby Jesus' birth and how much he loves you. We say your prayers every night. Thank you for being our son, Logan. You're an incredible little boy and you light up our world more than we could have ever imagined.

Love you,

Mama and Daddy

Thursday, December 22, 2011

loosing it

I swear, friends, I'm loosing it! I forgot I already wrote about my trip to the ER a few posts back. I re-wrote it and almost posted it and realized, OMG I already did this! While I love this time of year, I will be SO glad when things calm down after the 1st.

We got snow last night and it's still coming down! Logan loves it! He says over and over "nnnnoooow" since he can't say his s's yet.

We went out to dinner as a family last night. I let him have some apple juice with dinner and lots of water. He soaked through his PJs by 1030pm and at 230am he thought it was a great time to get up and play. Didn't anyone tell him Santa doesn't come until the 25th?! He laid in bed with us for an hour. The moment I thought has asleep I'd look up at him, snuggled in my arms and he'd grab my cheeks with both hands and say "mama!". It was precious, but why oh why at 230 in the morning? I loved our time laying together but I have no idea why he woke up like that. He was acting like it was morning, asking for milk and to eat. It was bizzar. I'm guessing he was cold, because the house was down to 63* and that maybe something scared him. A dream? The dark? Being cold in the dark?? Either way, I really hope he sleeps through the night tonight!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Top 12 Posts of the Year

I love blogging in December, though I find it very difficult to make the time, I love going back and remembering all the crazy, awesome, happy, sad, exciting things that our family experienced. This is one of the greatest things I value about blogging. This online journal keeps my memories fresh and creates a keepsake for our family to one day look back on someday.

So here are the top 12 posts of the year (one from each month) based on my favorite post, not on commets, etc. Because while I LOVE the comments and all you amazing readers, that is not why I blog. I will also be doing a post on the best 12 photos of the year because this amature photographer can't NOT have a post like that. Enjoy!!

January: Death of the Perky Boobs

February: Valentine's Day 2011

March: Milestones

April: When do I say 'enough'?

May: Best Mother's Day Ever!

June: Finding My Passion...At the Hospital

July: My Most Favorite Poet

August: The One in Which Tulo Jumps Through a Window

September: Thank You Isn't Enough

October: Dear Logan

November: The Devil Car

December: that one the movie theater

Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Santa's Little Helper

Our trip to see Santa this year was nothing short of an epic fail. The morning started out great. Logan was in a good mood and we were having a great family day. B was heading to Denver later in the day with Logan and I had to get some time in with my boys. We headed to the mall and even while in line, Logan was not totally opposed to the idea of Santa.

There was a little girl in front of us who was just a month older than Logan. She set the bar by wailing and screaming her way off of Santa's lap. Logan stared at her and the closer we got the more sullen his face became. No more smiles and no more "uh-hus" when we asked if he was ready.

I stepped behind the photographer to take my own photos while B managed Logan. As you can see, he was not too keen on the idea of sitting on this strange mans lap! Afterwards he was given a candy cane and of course that cleared up his tears quickly. This kid LOVES candy and ate his candy cane before we'd even gotten to the car.

My dad mentioned how he's "too young" to be going to see Santa and I could not agree more. However, getting the shot of Logan crying on his lap feels like one of those parental rights of passage that you just have to do.


In other news, Thursday's 21 Questions will return in January. If you'd like to be featured, please email me samama8 at gmail dot com.

I pray you all have a fantastic and blessed Holiday weekend with your families. Celebrating Christmas with a toddler is SO MUCH FUN!!

One more post coming up: my trip to the ER a few weekends ago!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

bye bye babyness

I started writing this on December 8th...

Today, my squishy little boy is 22 months old. That's only 2 months away from being, you guessed it, TWO YEARS OLD!! Every parent from across the world will never EVER stop saying things like "I can't believe how fast time goes," or "I can't believe he's turning two!" or "They grow up so fast," and so on. Seriously, two years of my life has never gone faster since I've had Logan in my life. I mentioned to my mom the other night how when I was 22 months old she had my brother. I cannot imagine already having gone through 9 months of pregnancy again AND having a new baby right now...I know God blesses each of us with what he knows we can handle. I'm glad He knows I would go crazy!! However, that is not to say we are done having children-at all...just not yet.

I have mixed feelings about Logan's babyness fading away. I love watching him learn and grow up into an actual person with a personality, likes and dislikes, wants and needs...all of which make him more of a toddler and less of a baby. And yet I miss his infant stage, the frequent naps, nursing him, and experiencing all those new baby firsts. His firsts now are involve new words and new independence.

Last night I could not find his paci. We left the sitter, who doesn't even give him a paci, and the first thing he starts talking about in the car is "bapie! bapie!" so I tell him we're going home and we'll get it then. On our drive I kept thinking, you know...I hope we can't find a paci and in the same breath I realized I was wishing away one of the last baby-ish things about Logan. He no longer sleeps in a crib, uses a bottle, wakes up every two hours, rather he uses words to express himself, says "toot toot" when he farts, and plays hide and seek around the corners. The paci has never been something that B and I have liked, but it certainly saved us countless times from uncomfortable car rides and wakeful nights. Getting rid of the paci has been one of those things we started to fret about a year ago. We wondered if taking it away sooner rather than later would make the transition easier. In fact, it made it worse! Not two months ago he started needing not one, but TWO pacis to go to bed. He was carrying one around with him everywhere we went and without taking the paci out of his mouth he'd be asking for a 2nd. His talking through his paci was a huge problem to me. We don't want anything to interfere with his language developement or his teeth and we knew the longer we kept the paci around the harder it would be to get rid of it.

So when we got home and after I turned up every couch cushion, searched through his toys, all our secret hiding places and even out in the car again and I still could not find a paci I said "that's it! No more paci!". Well, not out loud like that. But as Logan sat on the floor crying for bis "bapie" I gently told him that there was no more paci. He paused a moment and said it again. I said, "Logan, you bapie had to go and be with another baby. Your bapie went bye-bye." He stared at me for a few seconds before throwing himself on the floor, where he stayed screaming for the next 20 minutes. I tried offering him comfort and he refused my efforts. I let him mourn his paci. It broke my heart to see him so sad about his bapie, but I knew this had to be a "cold turkey" type of thing.

Logan went to bed surprisingly easy and slept through the night

As of today, Logan is nearly paci-free. The few times we've pulled it out is at night or early in the morning to help him get back to sleep and the minute he is up we take it away. If he asks for it during the day we just remind him that he gave it away to another baby. He seems to understand this and accept it without issue. The second night he did have a full on meltdown in which we did not cave, although we were tempted! While Logan mourned his paci, I mourned his babyness.

Plans Change

I can't catch a break. Everyday, something else is going on with my health and well-being, or so it seems. On Friday night I was walking quickly through the parking lot carrying a rather large bottle of wine when I slipped and fell on some ice. I saved the wine! But my wrist? Mildly sprained and then yesterday my low back flared up. Awesome.

The results from my ultrasound last week are normal, but I did not find out from my doctor or from looking the results up myself. On Saturday, we had big plans to have a Christmas party with B's family. We were so excited. I went shopping and bought everything for a really yummy salad, we went a cut down our Christmas tree, and only a few things to do before they arrived. All morning, however, I was actually having some serious stomach issues. I could not keep anything I ate or drank inside. But I tried to push through it. I assumed it was just my stomach acting up, of course, when we have something great planned. I took my meds and hoped for the best.

As the day went on I started to feel worse. I laid in bed until everyone arrived and put on a smile, pushing through and trying to hid any of the pain and discomfort I was feeling. I knew in my heart this had to be something more than just my stomach being dumb. I felt ill.

I looked awesome. I had been planning my outfit for the party for a week and tried to convince myself that I looked good so I feel good. That ran through my head over and over to no avail. We watching Logan open Christmas presents. He totally gets it! With hardly any help from his Nona he was ripping paper off and saying "out, out, out" after seeing his new toy. His grandparents absolutely spoiled him, in a good way of course! I'll post pictures as soon as I can, but watching Logan really enjoy Christmas for the first time was priceless. I am so thankful that I was able to hold out for that.

We took a break and I mustered up any strength I had to help make the salad and get things ready for dinner. Standing up made me feel as though I would faint and I pushed through those feelings as long as I could until I went back to lay on the couch. I felt terrible. Our family was doing everything and here I was laying on the couch. I hated, and still do, that I was not able to be in the mix with everyone, sipping on homemade eggnog and wine. My heart still hurts that it did not go that way.

At one point while I was laying on the couch B came over and asked if I needed to go to the ER. I had those thoughts in the back of my head but it was the last thing I wanted to do. But then we thought about it. It had been over 12 hours since I had been able to keep anything from coming right back out and sipping on water was painful. The cramping had me keeled over and I knew I was becoming very dehydrated. We made the decision to go. I was devastated. I was leaving Logan with our family and I knew he would be fine, but B was also leaving his family and we don't get enough time with them as it is. But I was going downhill so fast both B and I were scared. We could not worry about those things.

Only one other time in my life have I been in the ER. When I was in college the week before spring finals I became sick. I passed out in the dinning hall and was taken to the ER via ambulance. Diagnosis was sever dehydration and a viral infection.

When we got to the ER, things moved quickly. We didn't have to wait long and in no time I was having blood drawn and an IV put in. The fluids were a welcomed relief. I went through a liter in less than an hour. After anti-nausea meds, 2 liters of fluids and good blood work, I was sent home. I felt worse, though, because the body aches had kicked in. The drive home was just as bad as the drive to the hospital when I was in labor. And yes, I made that connection! lol

In the end, I slept until 130pm the next day and slowly regained my strength. Today, I am totally back to normal, stomach pains and all. The meds I'm taking for that do keep them under control and on the 19th I have a follow up to find out if this is going to be a life-long battle.

The moral of this story, friends, is to WASH YOUR HANDS and DON"T TOUCH YOUR FACE! I know these things are so simple and "DUH" even, but until you start paying attention to how often you touch your face, you don't even realize you do. My official diagnosis was the flu and gastritis. YUCK! Stay healthy friends!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011


(our front window covered in ice!)

  • I have a cough that will not go away. I think I'm on day five or six. At night, I feel like I'm dying from all the coughing and no amount of nyquil or tylenol cold medicine can keep it at bay (not taken together, obviously).

  • I'm drinking coffee, yo. For the first time in over three months I am sipping on a caramel latte. I'm hoping all the meds I'm on will allow me to enjoy it without pains.

  • I've been pain-free for FOUR WHOLE DAYS NOW!! Thank goodness for meds! (I'm not usually all about meds. In fact, I've avoided taking them for some time now and boy am I glad I changed my mind!).

  • B is super sick. Fever, aches, and overall yuck. Taking care of him and Logan and our house all while I'm not up to par either is soooo hard! I'm pretty sure that if I put my head down I'd pass out right here. Hence, another reason for coffee.

  • Logan did not puke again on Saturday so we are 100% positive it was motion sickness. I had it when I was younger on long, windy car rides.

  • It' is BELOW 5* outside right now. SO COLD!

  • I have something really cool brewing in my head about a charity I want to start contributing to. As soon as I'm able, I will share those deets with everyone because I will need your help as well! More on this later (hopefully by Jan 1st).

  • A new post will be up soon on my midwife blog about losing all the fear you have about pregnancy and childbirth so that you can *try* to get the exact birth you and your partner are hoping for. I'll post a link when that's up.

  • And that's all. Have a great Tuesday friends!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

that one the movie theater

A few months ago I wanted to take Logan to see The Lion King in the movie theater. I didn't for several reasons, the biggest being I wanted B to come with us and it just never worked out. So instead, B bought the movie and we've watched it at home.

For Christmas, I was given the choice of picking from five options what I wanted from my employer. I picked the family day at the movies. They rent out the entire theater, pass out snacks, have balloon animals, family pictures, hot chocolate...we couldn't wait! Yesterday morning we got up early to find six new inches of snow outside. Perfect movie day weather! We all dressed semi-nice for the family photos and off we went.  We arrived just as the doors opened, grabbed our snacks and popcorn, and headed to the theater. Happy Feet 2 was the movie I picked for us. Logan still has a very short attention span for TV and movies and I knew he'd last at least a little while with this one. We were so excited. I cannot say that enough because what happened was so not on our radar...

We settled into our seats and B went to go get us hot chocolate. I stood in line with Logan so he could get a monkey from the balloon animals lady. He was being so good. All morning, though, he'd refused to eat. I offered applesauce, which he had two bites of, and two animal crackers along with lots of pedilite juice. B returned with our drinks and the trailers began. We got a booster seat for Logan and he was sitting so proud in his chair. He loved moving his drink around to the cup holders and was in a great mood. He sat on my lap for a few trailers and then I moved him to his seat just before the movie started.

Not 10 seconds later I heard him coughing. He's had a cough for a week or two now, nothing serious. And it happened. His cough turned into full out puking. He puked all over himself, into my purse, all over me and B and the stairs as I was getting out of the theater as fast as humanly possible. He finished up in the trash can and I almost started crying. B went to tell someone and I took Logan to the bathroom. I stripped him down to his diaper and a white tee he had on under his sweater which was still dry. I rinsed his clothes out in the sink and put everything into a trash bag. B went back into the theater to gather our things and when he came out I asked how bad it was. He said the guy in front of us, whom Logan had barely missed puking on (how, I honestly don't know!) and he was laughing at the movie. The smell though, oh man the smell! It was so rank. Ugh...

B went and pulled the car up. Remember how I said it had been snowing? Well it had stopped but it was still barely 25* outside and Logan was half naked. I wrapped him up in my coat, which was vomit-free, and loaded him into the car. And that was the beginning of a different kind of family day. We waited in anticipation to see if Logan was truly sick and if we'd be cleaning up puke the rest of the day. Thankfully, it was just a fluke. We actually think Logan got motion sickness from all the movement on the screen, the loud speakers, etc. Needless to say, we will not be going back to the theater with Logan for a long time.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

getting started

Today was my first official day without gluten. What's amazing is how aware of food I have become and I'd be lying if I said this did not cause me some major stress and anxiety. The last few days I spent scowering sites about becoming gluten-free, how to shop, printing out lists of foods not to eat, foods to eat...I mean my head was spinning in this mess of changes

Normally I welcome change with open arms. This change, however, is asking me to divorce all the foods I love. I have not cried yet. Logan has been fighting a cold and that distraction has prevented me from loosing my shit all over the place. BUT, I'm sure it's coming. The worst part I'm sure is not cheating. Our hospital makes the most amazing cookies everyday and it's all I can do not to eat one!!

One of the blogs I stumbled upon made it very clear NOT to do two things: do not make a list of all the things you CAN"T eat, rather a list of the things you can and do not go out and buy every gluten-free product on the selves, especially at an expensive store, like Whole Foods. I had already started doing the first, making a list. My memory is not what it used to be pre-baby and it will take me time to remember what's okay and what's not. Shopping was an easy one. Our grocery store has gluten-free foods on every aisle. If you're looking for GF pasta, then it will be on the pasta aisle. I like that AND I'm sure it's a little cheaper than the organic markets. Still, it's a few extra dollars.

Logan and I headed to the store this morning because the only thing I could eat in the house was eggs and I needed more! Don't forget, I am also avoiding dairy which is what all the GF sites say is just fine. Well, for me it's not. Shopping went well and I only picked up a few things like cereal and pasta, staples in our home.

Today I only had some pains in the afternoon after a nap. This is what I ate:

  • tuna mixed with relish, mayo, salt and pepper with a pickle (no crackers or bread)

  • avocado with salt and pepper

  • a piece of mint gum

  • mashed red potatoes with white gravy

  • GF 7 layer bar

So far, no pains tonight. I really just think it's a fluke BUT if no pains is from me eating GF, then PRAISE THE LORD!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

a troubled tummy

I have not received my official diagnosis from the (lack of) findings from both of my procedures, however, I did read my pathology report. Just call it one of those perks of working in a hospital. As I said before, my visual reports were good: healthy and normal. No ulcers, polyps, cancer, etc...which is all good news. And, honestly, what I expected.

It's been over two weeks now and that "7-10 days" for results rule is out the window. So I read my own report, which is not breaking any rules (goodie-two-shoes here!), and the only diagnosis I found among all the medical terminology is that I do have some form of GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease). It's like acid reflux, but worse and in my case most likely chronic. Again, I have not been given my official diagnosis. This is just what I know from the report. More good things: I don't have Celiacs, Chrons, of H-Pilori bacteria, among other stomach-related diseases. I'm so glad for that.


I still want an answer!! GERD is not curable, rather, it's managed by very strict dietary changes. I also suspect IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) or it's evil twin Irritable Bowel Disorder (IBD). I'm not sure which is which and what the differences are, but neither are curable either. Changing the way I eat along side medication (at least for now-until the pains subside) is what I'm going to have to do. There is still a chance my doctor could call on Tuesday and say none of the above and diagnose me with something else, or nothing at all and continue tests. I'd really like an of my gallbladder, just to be sure.

So this is where we sit. I've been mentally preparing myself for major dietary changes and when I say major I mean MONUMENTAL. 98% of the things I eat now are irritants. Irritants of GERD, IBS, IBD, and so on...nothing I've been eating as been good for me, even if you and everyone else might consider it healthy (ie: a salad).

Here's a taste (pun very much intended!) of what I have to avoid. And just for kicks I will also be eliminating gluten. Why? Well...why not?? I know a hand full of people who do not have celiac but some other ailment and going gluten free has improved their issue.


  • caffeine

  • chocolate

  • alcohol

  • soda

  • acidic foods

  • spicy foods

  • milk, cheese, yogurt, etc (no lactose, period.)

  • wheat/barely

  • fermentable foods (watermellon, avocado...)

  • sugars (glucose...)

  • anything deep-fried/breaded (french fries, boneless chicken wings)

Doesn't that look like fun!! :::enter sarcasm:::

Thank you, my dear readers, for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers through this whole mess. I truly hope that once I get things under control that I will be a much better, happier person and blogger. I'm not inspired to write about anything else for now. Until then I will keep you all updated on how things turn out. There is always a chance that none of this will work and that something else is going on. I hope that's not the case.

Have a great weekend!

Monday, November 21, 2011

In a Nut Shell

I froze yogurt-covered strawberries and have yet to try one.

B and I had ourselves a date night on Sunday.

We saw Breaking Dawn and I thought it was great.

We ate at my favorite Italian restaurant.

I had butter-nut squash ravioliis, my fave.

Logan learned how to raise his left eye brow (video to come).

I have not caught Tulo on the couch in over a week.

I finally caught up with my cousin on the phone. I love her.

My stomach still hurts.

I'm still waiting for results.

I love Thanksgiving.

I made Paula Dean's Pumpkin Butter Cake (post on that soon, too!).

B is going back to school soon!

Logan loves opening and closing my prayer box around my neck.

I'm excited for crafty-time at MOPS tomorrow.

I have a lot of laundry to fold.

I probably won't fold it.

I'm thankful for all of you, my dear readers, for sticking with me.

21 Questions is taking a break this week so I need someone for next Thursday...otherwise I'm going to pick on someone. ;)

Have a safe, fun Thanksgiving!! (to all my Canadian readers-just have a great week!)

Thursday, November 17, 2011

the devil car

I do not normally associate inanimate objects with emotions, but we are certain that a car we had for nearly seven months was indeed possessed. I say this with a half-joking manner because I only half believe it myself.

For almost a year B and I managed as a one car family without too many issues. When I got my new job, there was no way we could operate without another car. My schedule varies and working around B's solid schedule would have been very difficult. So we started to skim craigslist ads. We even went to Denver for a day to check out used cars and came up without any luck. Our budget was very small. We were only seeking a town car that was safe for little man.

I was working one of my last shifts at my previous jobs when B called to announce he had found a car, test-drove it, and bought it. I had no idea what kind of clunker he was bringing home. I was just relived that we now had two forms of transportation! He drove the 1987 blue-green Volvo Wagon over to my work and explained all of the things he had to fix: the radiator and water pump were the biggies. But, B said, I know what I'm doing! I put all my unwavering trust into my husband. He has worked on many cars and I truly believed he knew what he was doing. However, the car had other ideas.

B worked every night to fix the radiator and water pump and three weeks later it was still sitting in the parking lot. I finally put my no-ifs-ands-or-buts face on and said we're taking it to the shop. Period. Aside from those two major issues, there were also some electrical glitches. If the battery had not been warmed up it and we needed to use the head lights, the dash lights would not work.

Long story short (or not!), we dropped $300 to have the bigger repairs done and without a second thought conceded that the car was fine. Sure, the car was fine, but it's presence in our lives brought so much negativity. The deal on our house fell through, I was scammed, Tulo had a terrible accident, and we were broke. All this within five months of the car entering our lives. Fast forward to Halloween weekend. My good friend Amy is 30 weeks pregnant and she was concerned about some pains she was having. Her husband was working and it was a Sunday so I offered to take her to urgent care. We decided to stop by her house to grab a stroller since mine was in B's car. As we turned into her neighborhood the car over-heated and died. I called B and he said he was on his way but to pour water into the radiator while we waited for him. Amy's concern was not an emergency so it was okay that we had to wait 20 minutes for B to arrive. He stayed with the car while I took Amy to urgent care.

B discovered a leak. After the car cooled down he was able to get it home before it over-heated again. I put Logan down for a nap and it finally occurred to both of us: this car is really bad mojo! Without a second thought we decided to sell the car for whatever someone might be willing to pay and then, somehow, buy another car. We had no idea how we were going to buy another car but we had to, even if it meant borrowing money, which we hate doing.

Halloween night after all the fun I placed an ad on craigslist. I received a few responses and wanted to wait another day before responding. On Tuesday, I sent an email out to my coworkers asking if anyone had a car they needed to sell. I knew that buying a car from someone I knew was safer than online. I knew they'd be honest with me about any ongoing issues, etc. In the mean time, B was setting up a time for a guy to come over and buy the car for parts. That was all it was good for.

That afternoon I received a response from someone who wanted to give us her car. She said it had not been on the road for year, but was in otherwise good condition. We needed to buy a battery and get the brakes checked. That was it. I was in tears! I could not believe how selfless this person was to give us her car! We offered to pay her something but she would not take it, stating that she was going to donate it anyway and was glad she could help us out. The devil car, as we started to call it, was not even out of our sight before good things started to happen. I got a call about the scam-I am going to get a refund! We had no idea if Tulo would run again-he ran through the park with Butte a few nights ago! My insurance was not going to pay for my procedures until they received a statement from my previous insurance that it was not a pre-existing condition-done and done! (while I've had stomach issues for a long time, it's been undiagnosed the entire time).

Wednesday night was a blizzard so we waited until Thursday afternoon to pick up the car. We took care of the title at the court house and again, I cried in my car on the way home. I always feel so blessed by everything God has given me, but I could not wrap my head around how much gratitude I had for this woman GIVING us her car. I'm still in shock. I just know that when we get the chance some day we will pay all these good deeds forward. There is no other way to spread love and joy in this world than by doing just that.

The devil car meant so little to me that I never even took a picture. The car we were given needs a major bath. I've taken it through the car wash and nothing came off!

I pray that in this season of giving that no matter what the need, you seek to help someone out, big or small, just to keep spreading that love a joy.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

21 Questions with Rachel

Happy Thursday everyone! I'm really beginning to look forward to this day of the week! I'm happy to share a dear blog friend with you all. Rachel from B & R Plus One More and I found each other through blogging a few years ago while we were both pregnant with our first babies. Ella and Logan are only a week apart and even though we both live in Colorado, we have yet to meet. People, Rachel is a true mountain woman, living way way up there with all the wind and snow. She's also got another little babe on the way! Hop on over to check her out.

  1. What is your #1 bucket list to-do item? To watch Ella meet her little sister come February.

  2. What is the worst injury/illness you’ve ever had?   I had a weird strain of Mono my junior year of HS, it took 6 months and weekly blood tests to find. Yuck!

  3. Do you collect anything? Not really, I used to collect Barbies when I was younger, that stopped a while ago though. Now if someone would just tell that to my mother so I wouldn't get a Barbie every year for Christmas. Ha!

  4. What is your guilty pleasure TV show? Keeping Up With The Kardashians and 19 Kids & Counting. I'm miserably addicted.

  5. What is the most special thing your spouse has ever done for you? My husband is pretty awesome and he does special things every day. The best little thing lately though is he's been taking over the cooking. I have NO energy this pregnancy and he has been awesome at taking over things like that.

  6. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes, I absolutely do.

  7. What does your exercise routine look like? Walking up the stairs at work. ha! I have an exercise bike in my office, it gets used far too infrequently.

  8. If you could witness an event past, present or future, what would it be? I think I would have to agree with Sarah's answer on this, I was completely captivated by the royal wedding and would have loved to have been there!

  9. If you could change anything about your high school/college experience what would it be? High School, definitely study more. College, stick with it. I left not so long in to college to move to Colorado. I don't regret moving here as it was for the man I eventually married, but I would like to go back to school some day.

  10. What season do you enjoy most? Summer for the weather and Fall for the colors!

  11. What celebrity do you most look like? I don’t think i look like any celebrity, I've been told Gwyneth Paltrow but that was before I had kids and kept my chubby face. Haha

  12. What band/singer are you enjoying most right now? Blake Shelton, I puffy heart him!

  13. Do you implement any of the things your parents taught you into your parenting style? I think I will implement a few things that I was taught by my parents. It's important to instill the values that your grew up with in to your children, as long as you believe in them.

  14. What is/are your family traditions? Oh man,celebrating holidays to the fullest! I love that Ella is old enough to really enjoy books. We do a Christmas book advent calendar. Wrap up 24 books and place them in a basket, each night of the advent she can open 1 book and we'll read it together. Such a fun way to count down!

  15. What is the best parenting advice you’ve ever received? Kids are put here to test your patience, remain calm!

  16. What was the best gift ever given to you/that you gave? I think it will be the same answer for both given and received, my children. I think they are (and will be) the best gifts my husband and I could ever give each other.

  17. Have you and your spouse written a will? No, but we absolutely need to, especially with a 2nd child on the way.

  18. If you could change one thing about your wedding day what would it be? Not giving Brad the keys to my car. We couldn't afford a DJ so I stayed up until 2 am the night before our wedding making mixed CD's, including our first dance song. We didn't dance because Brad locked my keys in my car! Ha!

  19. What have you done that you said you’d never do as a parent? I put Ella down for bed with a sippy of milk! Gasp! I know this is bad but this is how she goes to bed now.

  20. How long have you been married? It was 5 wonderful years on October 7th.

  21. Do you want more children? We are undecided, I would LOVE 3 kids, that has always been my number. Brad is fine with the 2 we have (are expecting), but I would also love to have a 3rd shot at getting a little Mama's boy. =)

Monday, November 14, 2011

almost done

Sorry I've kept you all hanging. This was a rough weekend. Friday was my procedure. In case you forgot, I had a colonoscopy and an upper endoscopy. Thursday morning I had my "last supper": one egg over medium and biscuits with gravy. YUM! That was at 9am and for the rest of the day I drank a lot of water and some chicken broth. By the afternoon I felt very hungry. When I get hunger pains, it increases the general abdominal pains that are already there so I was miserable from then on.

I will spare you all the other details of the evening. I was so dehydrated I felt delirious, dizzy, nausious...when I don't eat I get super low blood sugar and even the sugars in the vitamin waters was not enough to make me feel better. I literally felt sick. I was able to get 5-6 hours of uninterrupted sleep, which was nice. I was not expecting that. B got up with Logan so I could sleep until it was time to leave. I managed a shower and some hellos to B's mom who so graciously came up to stay with Logan so B could be with me. Seriously, I have the best mother in law.

We were late. I hate being late. But we had to get gas and drive across town to the surgery center. My head was pounding and even though it had been 26 hours since I had eaten anything, I wasn't even hungry. B was asking me where I wanted to go eat after and I settled on Noodles. Nothing like comfort food to make me feel better.

I checked in and waited. Here is where the anxiety of being drugged to sleep started to wonder into my thoughts. I continued to pray and hold B's hand. He reassured me that everything would be okay and I had to start believing it because there was no going back. The nurse came to get me and B sat with us while she went over a few things. Then he was excused and I was left to undress (totally!) and wait some more. I had an IV placed in my hand and the best part was that she numbed the area BEFORE putting the IV in. I felt nothing. The anesthesiologist came and talked to me about my history and what to expect. Everyone was so calm and reassuring. I was rolled back to the room, nothing more than a glorified office with a giant TV screen. We waited for the doctor to arrive. She was so kind. As she was talking to me, the anesthesiologist put some medicine in my IV that made me feel like I was going to pass out. This was the worst part. I already felt so light-headed from being so dehydrated and I told them I was going to pass out. They both just told me to relax and close my eyes. That's the last thing I remember.

Forty-five minutes later I was back in recovery. B was there and I heard him telling me he loved me. I barely opened my eyes and told him I was dreaming. Seriously, best sleep in a long time! I can't remember the dream, but it was good. It took forever for me to wake up. I felt so tired and just wanted to go back to sleep. The drug wore off quickly and I became more alert. We waited for the doctor to come and go over everything with us. When she did, she showed me the pictures she took of my esophagus, stomach, etc. Everything looked healthy. No weird growths or infections. So now we wait. We wait for the biopsy results. She took several in different places to rule out cialiacs and crohns disease, as well as h-pilori bacteria, among other things. I will hopefully know something by Friday, but it could take as long as next Wednesday.

I tell you, friends, I am so glad that day is over with. I think I thought that once it was done that my pain would go away, but it hasn't. My weekend was spent on the couch watching Vampire Diaries. I'm obsessed! B has been so wonderful in taking care of me. So, we're almost done. Almost to the finish line.


Thursday, November 10, 2011

21 Questions with Dana

This week's featured blogger is Dana from Hancock Heir. She is an awesome mama to sweet boy Aydan who is just a few months younger than Logan. I've followed her blog for nearly 2 years now (GASP!) and have yet to meet. Maybe that should be your bucket list item! ;) Enjoy!

  1. What is your #1 bucket list to-do item?Can you believe I actually don’t have a “bucket list”?  I can’t decide if it’s because I don’t want to feel like a failure when half of the list probably won’t ever get checked off – or if it’s because the things I want to do/accomplish are always changing.  But I must travel to Australia one day!

  2. What is the worst injury/illness you’ve ever had?This is an easy one – Meningitis!  In 2004 I had the worst headache ever!!!!!  Seriously…..thought I was going to die!  I was throwing up just about every hour. I felt like this for days (2 or 3 I think) before I went to urgent care….who told me to immediately go to the hospital because I might be bleeding in the brain.  Nope – I’m stubborn and didn’t want pay for that medical bill when I was convinced I had my very first migraine.  My mom finally convinced my boyfriend (now hubby) to take me to the emergency room.  After a cat-scan, numerous tests and a spinal tap they found meningitis!

  3. Do you collect anything?Not unless you count shoes and purses

  4. What is your guilty pleasure TV show?Vampire Diaries!  And it’s an extra plus that the boys are yummy!

  5. What is the most special thing your spouse has ever done for you?He’s pretty sweet all the time.  I get flowers for no special reason.  We go out to romantic dinners not only for special occasions – but just because we need a night out.  He watches Aydan quiet often so I can go out with the girls.  He’s actually pretty thoughtful J

  6. Do you believe in ghosts?Sure – while I’ve never experienced an encounter and hope I never do – I definitely believe in spirits.

  7. What does your exercise routine look like?“Routine?”  Blahahahahaha.  No – so I have a habit of doing a work out (lately it has been one of Jillian Michael’s video) hard core for about a month and then I totally slack off and do nothing for about a month.  I do Zumba every Monday and love it!

  8. If you could witness an event past, present or future, what would it be?No specific event – but I would like to go back in time and live in each era for a while – 1800’s, 20’s, 50’s, 60’s. 

  9. If you could change anything about your high school/college experience what would it be?  Is it crazy that I actually wouldn’t change anything?  I actually liked both high school and college.  In high school I was active in dance and band (yes – I was a band dork) and had a great group of girlfriends.  In college I grew, did ok in school – but again – had a GREAT time and had a good group of friends.  I know it’s cliché – but I think that all the experiences in my past have made me who I am today.  And I like who I am today J

  10. What season do you enjoy most?Fall!  That’s why I got married in October.  I like the weather where I can wear a scarf but no big winter jacket.  I love the colors when all the leaves turn to orange and red.

  11. What celebrity do you most look like?I’ve heard so many – Angie Harman, Sandra Bullock, and when I was younger – Celine Dion.

  12. What band/singer are you enjoying most right now?Adele – I love singer at the top of my lungs along with her in my car  (I’m sure my husband doesn’t feel the same way).

  13. Do you implement any of the things your parents taught you into your parenting style?Patience.  And really – just letting kids be kids.  Not to worry too much and the milestones they are supposed to reach at certain age – just let them grow and learn at their own pace and let them be kids!

  14. What is/are your family traditions? Opening one present on Christmas Eve, waking up really really early to open the rest on Christmas morning.  It has become me and Michael’s tradition to get up about 3am Black Friday and go out for one item. 

  15. What is the best parenting advice you’ve ever received?I can’t think of any right now!!!  I guess it would that they grow up so fast to just really enjoy it and don’t take it for granted.  And……take lots of photos – something I definitely listened to!

  16. What was the best gift ever given to you/that you gave?I really love my Panadora bracelets (I’m on my 2nd one).  I have charms from my husband, my parents and even a few friends.  So it is very special to me.  And I remember who gave me each charm and the reason behind each one!  The baby carriage charm is even how I told some friends that I was pregnant – told them I had a new charm and showed them it!  A lot of squeals were heard!

  17. Have you and your spouse written a will?No – and we keep saying that we need to.

  18. If you could change one thing about your wedding day what would it be.  Our caterer!  The food was alright – but she was a crazy lady!  While we were getting pictures taken and the guest were to enjoy cocktail hour – she wouldn’t let anyone upstairs to get a drink.  Said it was off limits!  They were supposed to provide the bartender – but nope – my friends had to pour their own wine and get their own beer) no big really).  But then Michael and I left a little early, so when everyone was downstairs seeing us off – they started cleaning up and closed down the party.  She got a little hate mail form me.

  19. What have you done that you said you’d never do as a parent?Lick my finger to wipe something off Aydan’s face!  I always said I would never do it – ewww.gross!  But yup.  I have found myself doing this multiple times!

  20. How long have you been married?We just celebrated our 3 year anniversary

  21. Do you want more children?Definitely.  I absolutely want at least one more.  Then we will revisit and decide if we want one more or stick with 2.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

2 days

This week has finally arrived. Two days, Friday, I get to take a medicated nap while a doctor tries to figure out what's going on with my stomach. I have not thought about this day until yesterday. I was working and out of no where, so it seemed, I felt my body begin to panic. I was pre-registering surgeries and in the back of my mind started to think about my own impending procedure. Thoughts of being sedated and the unknown flooded my mind. I tried to crush those thoughts away and focus on the patients in my office. The thoughts subsided, for the time, but my body reacted. I felt my chest get tight with heavy pain and my breathing was labored. For a moment I didn't know what to think, but then I realized I was having a panic attack. My body has not reacted this strongly to my anxiety in a long time. I just kept breathing through the pressure and praying that the patient wouldn't notice. Somehow, by the grace of God, I'm sure, I pressed through a rush of registrations.

I'm really quite nervous! I had no idea how anxious I was about this until the attack came on. Talking about it makes it easier and less worrisome. Also, thousands of people go through this procedure everyday. I will be okay! I just keep telling myself over and over. I'm much more calm about it. The only dread I have is drinking the magnesium citrate tomorrow night. YUCK!! Please pray friends, that the doctor finds out exactly what's going on, how to fix it, and that I'm not a crying nervous wreck Friday morning. B's mom is coming to stay with Logan. I love her so much! I feel so blessed to have such great family and friends supporting me through this, including all you blog friends. Bless you all!

Friday, November 4, 2011

My First EVER Guest Post!

Hi friends!! I am hanging out over at IN EVERY SEASON this week! I wrote my first ever guest post and could not be more happy that it is on this lovely blog. PLEASE go check it out and leave some love.


Thursday, November 3, 2011

Halloween Recap



Logan learned the word "candy" a few weeks ago. We have no idea where he picked it up. We don't keep candy, or even sweets of any kind, in the house unless it's a birthday or holiday. Halloween was still a few weeks away and we are last-minute candy buyers when it comes to Halloween. Our neighbors had told us how few trick-or-treaters they get every year. We'd only buy candy if we had to.

Our good friend who watches Logan a few times a week gave us this awesome dinosaur costume and it was decided-no more Spiderman. I found a Spiderman costume for super cheep at a consignment store. I wanted to make sure Logan liked his costume so we practiced a few days before Halloween. Surprisingly, he loves dressing up! There was no fight to be had! Halloween weekend arrived and instead of totally ditching Spiderman, I put it on him for the day while we shopped around and had friends over on Sunday night. I did not snap a photo, but he sure looked awesome!

On Halloween morning B had to work and I had plans to take Logan downtown. BUT. One of our cars died over the weekend, the Volvo we bought just 6 months ago. This car had done nothing but bring us trouble since the moment B signed the papers. So I took B to work and Logan and I headed on our way. I found a great parking spot, something hard to do for a big event like Trick-or-Treat Street downtown! Since B was not with me I chose to push Logan in his stroller. There were so many kids! Keeping a hand on him and a hand on his treat bag was going to be too much.

The shops opened their doors and nearly a thousand parents and children rushed in and out. Logan barely made a peep. I gave him a sucker and he loved it! From there, our day of "eating right" went out he window!

After an hour we had a nice stash and headed home for lunch and naps. I made my most awesome chicken enchiladas, which I will share with you soon, and my parents and brother came over in the evening to celebrate what really was Logan's first Halloween. Only a few houses in and he knew what he was doing. He was asking for "dandy" and proudly said "tit-tot-teet". We walked a few blocks and made another good stash of candy. Logan wore his hat up until the lat 10 minutes.

The evening was perfect! It was cool but not cold. Thankfully, no snow! Tuesday night it started snowing as we were on our way to check out a new car. By the time we left it was a blizzard! I was in full-blown panic mode and could not even watch B drive. We made it home safely and by 5am the next morning we had 12" of the white fluffy stuff again! I am looking forward to a super white winter!!

Hope you all had a great Halloween!











21 Questions with Amy

My dear friend Amy is a new mama blogger over at These Are The Days. She started writing a few months ago after she found out she was going to join the club. Now, she is only 10 weeks away from meeting her little man! He and Logan will be two years apart and we both hope they grow up to be great friends. Amy and I worked together for a few years and now we see them as often as we can. She saved Tulo's life the day she was babysitting Logan and rushed Tulo to the emergency vet. She's an amazing friend so I hope you'll all check out her great new blog and enjoy getting to know her. Love you Amy!!

  1. What is your #1 bucket list to-do item? meet my son!

  2. What is the worst injury/illness you’ve ever had?  I have actually never been sick enough to go the hospital or had any major injury. I guess the worst thing that I could consider was the summer after my freshman year of college when i got a 2nd degree sunburn on my legs. I was on Dr ordered bed rest for a week.

  3. Do you collect anything? when I was younger I collected Madame Alexander dolls, and trinket boxes. Both collections I still have. Now I just collect shoes and purses

  4. What is your guilty pleasure TV show? I watch the worst TV ever. Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant might be the worst ones I watch though.

  5. What is the most special thing your spouse has ever done for you? I have an amazing husband so its hard to pick. I think the most special thing he has ever done is getting me pregnant with our son!!!ha ha

  6. Do you believe in ghosts? that's just silly

  7. What does your exercise routine look like? Right now it looks like an exhausted pregnant stretching in the living room.

  8. If you could witness an event past, present or future, what would it be? I think I would have liked to be apart of the march on Washington with MLK Jr.

  9. If you could change anything about your high school/college experience what would it be? High school, I think I would have paid more attention my senior year rather than partying and for college I wish I had majored in social work and gerontology rather than history and gerontology. I Mean seriously what i am going to do with my history degree

  10. What season do you enjoy most? I love the fact t hat we have four seasons, but I would have to say I love summer the most. Summer nights are just the best time to be outside!

  11. What celebrity do you most look like? I don't think i look like any celebrity

  12. What band/singer are you enjoying most right now? I know i am a bit behind the times but i am really starting to get into Adele.

  13. Do you implement any of the things your parents taught you into your parenting style? I think I am going to implement a lot of the things that my parents taught me. I think it was important that they let me make my own decisions and thus my own mistakes. I think its important for children/ people of all ages to recognize that actions have consequences. I think that is something that Ted and I will try to instill in our son.

  14. What is/are your family traditions? We have so many fun ones. Now that Ted is apart of our family we enjoy the giant caramel apple that his cousins send us every year for Christmas. I also love playing board games every family holiday. Roasting peeps on Easter is another favorite.

  15. What is the best parenting advice you’ve ever received? I don't think i have gotten to that point yet where i will actually be able to put any of the advise i have received into practice.

  16. What was the best gift ever given to you/that you gave?The best gift that I ever received...I think would be the money that my grandmother gave me to pay for a good chunk of my college education. That is something that I will never be able to thank her enough for or repay her for. The best gift that I ever gave would be in high school when we collected books for students at an under funded school in Denver and i got to hand each child in the elementary school

  17. Have you and your spouse written a will? No we don't have one yet but we want to have one in place before our son arrives, so that if anything were ever to happen to us that our son would be taken care of by the people that would raise him the best. We have nothing valuable to give

  18. If you could change one thing about your wedding day what would it be? Not drinking so much. I was so nervous so i got a little tipsy before the ceremony....ha ha bad idea.

  19. What have you done that you said you’d never do as a parent?Again i haven't gotten to that point. I will answer this question again in 6 months!!

  20. How long have you been married? Just over 3 years!

  21. Do you want more children? yes we have always wanted 2 children, but we have always wanted to adopt so our next child will be adopted in probably about 5 years or so.


Saturday, October 29, 2011

mish mash

EDIT: I cannot believe I forgot to mention that we had our first snow this past week! It was (and still is) insanity! Usually the first snow causes some broken three limbs here and there but nothing serious. Well on Tuesday night it started to snow just before I left work. It was beautiful! Big, white, fluffy snowflakes! There is something so peaceful and pure about the first snow. It's one of my most favorite days in the year. Anyway, it was coming down good and since about 1pm the temp outside just kept getting colder and colder so, surprisingly, it stuck to the ground and the roads. We were expecting 6-10 inches and depending on where you are in Colorado that is rarely accurate. By the next morning, a day I had to be at work at 6am, we had at least 10 inches and it was still snowing. I woke up super early to give myself enough time (yes, folks, I set my alarm for 430am!!). Logan woke up early so B got up to help. I brushed my car off and pulled out of the driveway only to be totally blocked by huge tree limbs in the middle of the road! I backed into our driveway to turn the other direction (thankfully, I was not totally blocked) and winded my way around tree after tree. It was very sad. I have never seen so much damage from a storm, as if a tornado came through. Today, people were out cleaning up their yards and pulling what they could out into the road. The city has offered to pick up all the damage if we do the work to put it on the side of the street. Our backyard took a good hit, but nothing compared to others'. The house was spared and no leaking roof. We are so lucky it wasn't worse!

We have been soooo busy lately! First up, our mac charger is on the fritz so most of the blogging I do is at home while Logan sleeps and now I'm resorting to down time at work (shhh). Trust me, on a Saturday night not much is going on.

Logan has had a cough now for an entire month. Man, when that kiddo gets a cough it's relentless. Two weeks ago we popped over to urgent care and gave him antibiotics. The green crap went away but it didn't touch his cough. In fact, over the last week it's only become worse so I scheduled an appt with his regular doctor. Sure enough, his left ear is inflamed, though not quite infected, and something upper-respitory is hanging around. She eluded to croup, but I know that cough and it's not there-yet. Logan started a 3-5 day steroid yesterday so **HOPEFULLY** the cough will hit the road here really soon. As of this morning, no dice.

I am still wavering in my stomach issues. The meds I'm using to keep the pains at bay is only taking the edge off. Two more weeks and I go in for my procedures. I'm nervous, but looking forward to getting answers.

B is on a major job hunt. He has been for a while now, but we are desperate for a 3rd income and until I get my doula certification (which could still be another year-finding those 3 births is HARD!) we need something else. The skin of our teeth is just not enough.

Tulo is doing awesome! His leg nearly healed. He walks without a noticeable gimp 98% of the time and even attempts to run and play with Butte. He quickly slows down, just proof he's still building up that muscle in the leg and around his tendon. B has been working on an awesome painting for our vet's office as a thank you for the amazing care and love we received during the entire experience. We cannot wait to present it to him and at that time I'll post a pic of his masterpiece.

Please don't forget to leave a comment or send and email if you'd like to participate in the Thursday 21 Questions feature I'm doing. I'd love to get to know you better and show you off to new readers. I have the next two Thursdays filled, but need more volunteers! Otherwise, I'm just going to pick on you. ;)

PLEASE, have a safe and fun Halloween weekend! I will post pics of Logan as a dinosaur next week sometime (that is, of course, if we can get the computer charged!!).

And lastly, I'm linking up with October Follower Fest hosted by a number of wonderful ladies!  Hello and welcome new readers! Wordpress still fails me in how to get a blog button to work properly INSIDE a post, so please follow the link and check out some awesome other bloggers!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

21 questions with Katie

This week's featured blogger is Katie over at Life With the Little R's. Katie is an amazing woman, friend, wife and mama! I have known her since high school (10 year reunion coming up GASP!). Katie has a full heart for her family and Jesus. Go check out her adorable kids and awesome hubby!

  1. What is your #1 bucket list to-do item? That would be to go on a beach vacation with just me and the hubs. Preferably somewhere all-inclusive! We didn't go on a big Honeymoon so I am holding out hope for a second one in the not too distant future!

  2. What is the worst injury/illness you’ve ever had? I have been pretty lucky in that department. I did get a really bad kidney infection in college though that landed me in the hospital for a few days. Not fun!

  3. Do you collect anything? Currently I collect "R"s. The monograms you hang on your wall. I am slightly obsessed and currently have a gallery wall in my living room of different "R"s.

  4. What is your guilty pleasure TV show? Guilty pleasure? For sure that would be whatever the current trashy reality show I am secretly loving is. Sometimes it is The Bachelor or Bachelorette. Most recently it was The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

  5. What is the most special thing your spouse has ever done for you? I can't really think of a super special "big thing" but my husband is very good at making me feel special in the day-to-day. When I call him at work if I am upset about something he never acts too busy and always makes me feel valuable and that means a lot to me.

  6. Do you believe in ghosts? The holy ghost? Does that count?

  7. What does your exercise routine look like? The fact that you said "routine" totally calls me out! I am horrible with routine! But, I do like to workout to DVDs at home, I have a gym membership and I like going to classes and I also like my treadmill in my basement. Basically, my routine changes every week!

  8. If you could witness an event past, present or future, what would it be? Hmmm... I am thinking I would love to witness Jesus performing one of his miracles during his lifetime.

  9. If you could change anything about your high school/college experience what would it be? I would have just enjoyed it and not worried about what other people thought and trying to be someone else.

  10. What season do you enjoy most? Fall. (Convenient, right?) I just love how life becomes so homey in the fall. And fall in Missouri is gorgeous. All of the leaves.... love it!

  11. What celebrity do you most look like? I don't know! Someone once told me I looked like Natalie from the Dixie Chicks... but I don't think she is super cute so it kind of hurt my feelings!

  12. What band/singer are you enjoying most right now? Sara Groves, her music says everything my soul wants to say sometimes!

  13. Do you implement any of the things your parents taught you into your parenting style? Absolutely. My parents always talked to us like we were adults when we were little. They never talked down to us and had real conversations with us from an early age. I loved it, and I love watching them have those same conversations with my kiddos now!

  14. What is/are your family traditions? We have a lot but one of my favorites that we passed on from my childhood is "unbirthday presents". That is where all the kids in the family get one present for their siblings birthdays.

  15. What is the best parenting advice you’ve ever received? I can't think of a specific piece of advice but when we first had kids I got tons of bad advice. Somewhere along the line someone encouraged me to just do what I felt was right and enjoy my kiddos and it really changed everything. unfortunately, that wasn't until after I had my second!

  16. What was the best gift ever given to you/that you gave? Probably my engagement ring! I loved it so much and was so impressed that my husband (fiance then) sacrificed to buy me such a beautiful ring while he was still in college!

  17. Have you and your spouse written a will? Yep.

  18. If you could change one thing about your wedding day what would it be? Um... everything! Except for the man I married! No not really, but that day was a bit of a disaster! Thankfully, it ended with me having lots of people I love there, amazing support from my family who worked so hard to put everything together, and at the end of the day I got to be married to my favorite person in the world.

  19. What have you done that you said you’d never do as a parent? Let my kiddos sleep in bed with me as babies. All of our kids did this for a little while as babies and it was a lifesaver. And, contrary to lots of "advice" I was given... none of them sleep with us now!

  20. How long have you been married? 6 years!

  21. Do you want more children? I don't think so... but, I want God's will for my life more than anything else so whatever He gives us will be exactly what I want!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Dear Logan

My sweet boy,

You are 20 months old. I told myself that once you were 18 months I'd stop referring to your age in months but I just can't help it. You're over a year and a half and wow are you a busy guy! You make our hearts swell with pride in all the new things you learn and say every day. Your dad and I could not have asked for a more amazing kiddo.

Over the last few months your speech has increased dramatically. You try to repeat just about everything we say. Not all of it comes out clear, but your attempt is adorable! You have trouble with R, P, T, Y and L words, which is totally normal for your age. In fact, I cannot believe how much you talk now. I never expected to have a conversation with you on the phone at this age! I call your daddy at night while I'm working and he puts you on the phone. I ask you questions and you almost always answer with "uh-huh" as you have not yet said "yes". It would take me all day to write down the number of words you say which we can understand.

Your favorite word  is "light". Oh my stars! You are OBSESSED with the lights. Every where we go you have to turn lights on and off, point at street lights, constantly with your gaze upward. Your admiration with the lights is so humbling to your father and me. We take lights for granted and you, Logan, your entire body gets excited in the morning when we walk around the house and turn all the lights on. The smile on your face is palpable. Daddy and I talked about how the light is symbolic of Jesus' light and love for us. You are teaching us so much and we see Him working in you every day.

You no longer walk. You run. Everywhere. The only thing I can see slowing you down is the snow, which we just received over night nearly 10 inches of the white fluff. I want to start a tradition with you for the First Snow. I'm thinking hot chocolate and a movie of your choice. Of course, this can come after an hour outside!

You broke 25 pounds! I was not sure this would happen before you turned two since you're such tall, lean little man. You wear mostly 18-24 month clothes for both tops and pants. You're in a size 6-7 shoe and you have big hands. We call them your "mitts". You're still in a size 4 diaper and we're hoping to start some potty training with you soon. So far, you have no interested in the toilet and we're okay with that. We'll wait until you're ready.

You have a cough right now and kid, when you get a cold that cough hangs on for what seems like months. You don't seem too bothered by it.

Things you love right now: lights, talking, eating chicken nuggets, watch Sesame Street and Yo Gabba Gabba, playing with the dogs, reading Where The Wild Things Are, playing in water, running around naked, getting "chased" by us, playing in your cardboard house, sleeping on a big boy bed, and alas, your paci, which you now call your "bapie".

Things you hate: taking showers (which we find odd because you love water), most veggies (read: anything green), having your diaper changed, listening to us when you're doing something you shouldn't, and pooping.

You're an amazing kid, Logan, and we don't want you to ever think differently. You are so smart and learn things so quickly. I know those skills will follow you throughout your life. Your daddy and I will always love you, no matter what, and support you. Thank you for being the most incredible blessing we could have ever hoped for.



Thursday, October 20, 2011

21 Questions with Sarah

  1. What is your #1 bucket list to-do item? At the moment, to witness a live childbirth.

  2. What is the worst injury/illness you've ever had? I rarely ever get injured only because I rarely ever put myself in a position to cause injury! That being said I get sick often and usually weird stuff. The worst was when I had both tonsilitis and mono just before Thanksgiving while in college. I had to take pain meds to enjoy my Thanksgiving meal. Not fun.

  3. Do you collect anything? I collect ticket stubs from concerts, including the wrist bands if an official ticket stub was not issued. I have framed most of them on our collage wall.

  4. What is your guilty pleasure TV show? Hands down Teen Mom. That show is off-the-charts ridiculous and for whatever reason my prying eyes cannot look away. We don't have cable so on a quite afternoon while B is working and Logan is sleeping is when I get a chance to catch up.

  5. What is the most special thing your spouse has ever done for you? Tough question! For our "dating" anniversary last February B planned a pretty awesome date which recreated our 1st date. He arranged for his mom to care for Logan and made me feel so special.

  6. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. Just over a year ago while working at the retirement community I found one of our residents dead. She passed away in her sleep at the beautiful age of 88. Since her passing she has haunted the gym in the building where she spent much of her time. I have seen her walk past me through the refection in a window only to turn around and she's not there. My husband has also witnessed her harmless haunting first hand.

  7. What does your exercise routine look like? Currently, it looks like I chase around a toddler and walk several miles a day around the hospital. As soon as I know more about what's going on with my stomach issues, I hope to have a better routine of light cardio with some strengthening exercises.

  8. If you could witness an event past, present or future, what would it be? I would have LOVED to have been in the Abby for Will & Kate's wedding AND at their reception. I can only imagine how beautiful and fun it was.

  9. If you could change anything about your high school/college experience what would it be? For high school I would have been more involved. I would have joined yearbook and taken photography classes, since I love taking photos and in college I would have gone into nursing rather than business and English. I'd be a freaking midwife by now! lol

  10. What season do you enjoy most? I am a huge fan of summer. While it can get pretty darn hot here, I love the longer days and late afternoon rain showers.

  11. What celebrity do you most look like? I've been told both Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts. How flattering!

  12. What band/singer are you enjoying most right now? A few, because I am a music junkie and I can't just share one! Bon Iver has been on my spotify replay for a few weeks now. I love Skinny Love so much! Such a beautiful song! I also just discovered Grouplove and their song Colours.

  13. Do you implement any of the things your parents taught you into your parenting style? My mom is a preschool teacher and over the years in my own experience caring for children, the number one thing I've learned is to get down to your child's level. Never scold them standing up as that will not get the message through. Secondly, never fight with your spouse in front of your children. If B and I begin to get heated about something and Logan is in the room, we drop it immediately and wait until he's asleep to address the issue. Lastly, SHOW your child how much you love your spouse. I'm not talking about full on PDA, but hugs and kisses all around. My parents are not overly affectionate but I always witnessed my dad giving my mom a hug from behind while she cooked. Such a loving gesture.

  14. What is/are your family traditions? I'll admit that our little family of three does not yet have a specific tradition for any holiday yet, however, I hope to change that this year. Growing up we always cut our Christmas tree down. We will be doing that this year with Logan and I hope to do it every year with all our children. I also started making pancakes for birthday breakfasts. I love making breakfast more than any other meal and birthdays are so special!

  15. What is the best parenting advice you've ever received? I have two to share. One is to sleep when baby sleeps! I remember when Logan was just a newb and at first, I tried to get things done while he was sleeping but quickly gave into the advice to sleep while he slept and get things done later. Who cares about the dishes?! You being rested is way more important. Next, believe that you're a good mom and doing the right thing. Mamas are judged way too much and the last thing you want is to be worrying about what someone else is going to think about your decision.

  16. What was the best gift ever given to you/that you gave? The best gift I ever received (not including Logan) was my wedding. My parents paid for most of our wedding and it was by far the best day of my life. I'm not lying when I say that people are still talking about it. We just went to a wedding last week and the groom said something along the lines of, "Well, it's not your wedding, but I'm having fun". AHHH! What do you say to that?! Our wedding, without going too over the top, was exactly what I could have dreamed it would be. The best gifts I ever gave were hand-crocheted blankets to my parents. My mom's was finished several years ago and I presented to her on her birthday. Since then, my dad really wanted one of his own and just over a year ago I finally finished one for him. The letter he wrote me in thanks is framed on our collage wall.

  17. Have you and your spouse written a will? Not yet. But I really think this is important for us to do. Thinking about something happening to either of us is painful but we both feel that it is something we need to get done.

  18. If you could change one thing about your wedding day what would it be? CAKE! We never got a piece of our cake!! The entire thing was gone in a heartbeat, including the topper.

  19. What have you done that you said you'd never do as a parent? Oy...I'm totaly eating my words here. I said I'd never put Logan to bed with a bottle and without my knowing, B started to and once I found out, I let it go. He is off the bottle now so he doesn't have anything to drink with him now, but for a few months there, he did. I'm sure there's more....

  20. How long have you been married? Just over 3 years!

  21. Do you want more children? Heck yes! At least 2-3 more. Stay tuned...


Tuesday, October 18, 2011


Attention all my lovely readers!! I have a fun and exciting new thing I'd like to start. One of the best things about blogging is getting to know so many other mamas all over the world! It's the modern-day pen-pal, complete with regular updates and photos. Some of the friendships I've made through blogging have been so meaningful and once, I had the privilege of meeting one!

I would like to feature one of you every week. I'd like to take volunteers first, but just like getting called on in class I might be seeking you out as well. I have a range of questions, about 20, covering everything from where you were born, your goals, topics on blogging, motherhood, your child(ren), and more. I'm thinking Thursdays would be a great day for this feature to take place. This week I will answer the questions so you can get to know me a little better. Then I will feature someone new next week. Please email me if you'd like to be featured. Let's have fun with this! samama8 at gmail dot com (If you have my more personal email, you can send one to me through that one).

Saturday, October 15, 2011

just a few things...

  1. I will be guest-posting over at IN EVERY SEASON and I am SO excited! I'll let you all know when it's up. This blog mama is just lovely. Her little bean was born on our wedding anniversary...very cool!

  2. I'm also trying to create a button for my site and one that can be used for sponsoring. If any of you have super awesome graphic skillz I'd love some help! I'm almost done, but not entirely satisfied.

  3. B is looking for a 2nd job...please pray that whatever he finds works for us and our schedules.

  4. Logan talks all.the.time. In fact, last night I had an entire conversation with him on the phone. It was to die for! My heart melted ten times over...he's growing up!

  5. My desires to become a certified child birth instructor are still strong, however I believe I have found a better way to meet those needs before I can go back to nursing school so...I'm looking into becoming a DONA certified Doula...anyone have experience with a doula? Are you a doula? Let me know...I'm excited and nervous all at the same time! Eventually I hope to also become a Bradley Method instructor, but for now this seems like a better option. I'll be writing more over on my midwife 101 blog and will link up as I do.

Monday, October 10, 2011

on correcting someone else's kid

Touchy subject, folks.

Every mother parents differently. Every choice one makes is based on her own personal experience, research, opinions, morals, and values. We are constantly judged for those decisions and most of the time those decisions fit into the mold of whatever society is leaning towards at the time. For example, vaccinating your child. This subject has only seemed to intensify since I was pregnant and deciding if I was going to get a swine flu vaccine. At the time, it was one of the hardest decisions I was making because not only would this be affecting me, but also my unborn son. Now, the right to waive vaccines has blown up and to some degree, is out of control. But this has nothing to do with vaccinating your child. That's a whole other post. ;)

I've been around several friends who have children and as we chat and supervise our kids there are certainly moments when things might get out of hand, like a disagreement over a toy or misuse of a toy (for those older siblings). My comfort level in correcting the child(ren) solely depends on my interpretation of how the other mother might feel if I said something to her child. In general, I have no issue redirecting a child away from a situation that is causing a problem. Redirecting is all I do with Logan. His world grows bigger and bigger every day as he learns a new motor skill (climbing) or verbal skills (mine! no!). B and me are on our toes with Logan as he runs circles around us. But when another child is around, what do you do?

I happen to have a wonderful relationship with a friend of three boys. When all four boys hang out, issues are bound to arise and I find my mommy instincts naturally kicking in. On the occasion that has happened I have instantly apologized for correcting her children and without hesitation she has given me permission to do so. In turn, she has permission to correct Logan. We both understand that in no way will our methods of correction include a physical consequence. But we raise our voices just a touch, change the tone, and the children listen. With other parents this is not as easy, but I am finding my way around that very fine line of when it's okay to correct someone else's child and when to keep my mouth shut.

Bethany Joy recently posted about correcting a total stranger's daughter on the street. You can read it here. In short, she scolds a tween throwing a fit in the street over something so silly her mother was hardly paying any attention. Then, once mom heard Joy correct her daughter she snapped at Joy. Being defensive is one thing, but not taking responsibility for your child's actions, no matter how old, is just inappropriate.

Logan's latest fit was at church. It was during a children's service, thankfully, but I don't tolerate his wanting his way in public very well. He either listens or we leave and at this age I know the expectation for listening is low so we left. He was unhappy in the nursery and wanted to wonder through the pews during the service so I had no other choice than to leave. (I mentioned a few posts back about whether or not to let him cry it out in the nursery and I'm not a fan-yet).

On occasion I have corrected that rowdy child in the waiting area who keeps tapping on the fish tank loudly proclaiming "Look at me fishy!" or the child who bolts so fast out our front doors that if he kept going he'd surely get run over by a car in the drop off lane. I'm constantly paying attention to how my own child affects others around him and it baffles me when other parents don't do the same. The child yelling at a fish was nearly stepping on an elderly woman and mom was deep into a magazine. The child who dashed down the hall and almost out the front doors tripped before I could stop him so in a way, his consequence was natural. Mom was several feet back, hardly paying attention. These kinds of situations I just can't ignore and if mom wants to get up in  my face about it, so be it. Thankfully, that has not happened yet.

Now what do you do? Please share if you are the correcting type or do you let it go? Ignore the situation?