Today, my squishy little boy is 22 months old. That's only 2 months away from being, you guessed it, TWO YEARS OLD!! Every parent from across the world will never EVER stop saying things like "I can't believe how fast time goes," or "I can't believe he's turning two!" or "They grow up so fast," and so on. Seriously, two years of my life has never gone faster since I've had Logan in my life. I mentioned to my mom the other night how when I was 22 months old she had my brother. I cannot imagine already having gone through 9 months of pregnancy again AND having a new baby right now...I know God blesses each of us with what he knows we can handle. I'm glad He knows I would go crazy!! However, that is not to say we are done having children-at all...just not yet.
I have mixed feelings about Logan's babyness fading away. I love watching him learn and grow up into an actual person with a personality, likes and dislikes, wants and needs...all of which make him more of a toddler and less of a baby. And yet I miss his infant stage, the frequent naps, nursing him, and experiencing all those new baby firsts. His firsts now are involve new words and new independence.
Last night I could not find his paci. We left the sitter, who doesn't even give him a paci, and the first thing he starts talking about in the car is "bapie! bapie!" so I tell him we're going home and we'll get it then. On our drive I kept thinking, you know...I hope we can't find a paci and in the same breath I realized I was wishing away one of the last baby-ish things about Logan. He no longer sleeps in a crib, uses a bottle, wakes up every two hours, rather he uses words to express himself, says "toot toot" when he farts, and plays hide and seek around the corners. The paci has never been something that B and I have liked, but it certainly saved us countless times from uncomfortable car rides and wakeful nights. Getting rid of the paci has been one of those things we started to fret about a year ago. We wondered if taking it away sooner rather than later would make the transition easier. In fact, it made it worse! Not two months ago he started needing not one, but TWO pacis to go to bed. He was carrying one around with him everywhere we went and without taking the paci out of his mouth he'd be asking for a 2nd. His talking through his paci was a huge problem to me. We don't want anything to interfere with his language developement or his teeth and we knew the longer we kept the paci around the harder it would be to get rid of it.
So when we got home and after I turned up every couch cushion, searched through his toys, all our secret hiding places and even out in the car again and I still could not find a paci I said "that's it! No more paci!". Well, not out loud like that. But as Logan sat on the floor crying for bis "bapie" I gently told him that there was no more paci. He paused a moment and said it again. I said, "Logan, you bapie had to go and be with another baby. Your bapie went bye-bye." He stared at me for a few seconds before throwing himself on the floor, where he stayed screaming for the next 20 minutes. I tried offering him comfort and he refused my efforts. I let him mourn his paci. It broke my heart to see him so sad about his bapie, but I knew this had to be a "cold turkey" type of thing.
Logan went to bed surprisingly easy and slept through the night
As of today, Logan is nearly paci-free. The few times we've pulled it out is at night or early in the morning to help him get back to sleep and the minute he is up we take it away. If he asks for it during the day we just remind him that he gave it away to another baby. He seems to understand this and accept it without issue. The second night he did have a full on meltdown in which we did not cave, although we were tempted! While Logan mourned his paci, I mourned his babyness.
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