We Are For Each Other: Marriage

Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Look Who's Having a Birthday

This handsomely silly man here is 27 today! So happy birthday to my best friend, lover, father to my son and oh so incredible husband! I love you B!!

Friday, March 4, 2011

I've Never Written About this Before

>I have been inspired by Kellie over at It's a Boy! to write a post about one of the most special memories I have of B and I. EVER. Yes, that special. And you'll smile a silly smile when you hear how simple of a moment it was. But first, go check out Kellie. She just had a sweet little boy and her blog and spirit is addictive! I am going to write this as if it just happened in a voice that is not past tense. Also, I am sharing this because I want to always have a place to remember it and I believe that sharing these simple moments are what make us so awesome.

I came home from the hospital, leaving my baby boy in the NICU alone for what I had hoped would just be a few hours, if that. I was discharged, sent home to care for my post labor wounds. The only sign I had given birth not 48 hours ago. My empty arms ached more than the cramps and stitches. B helped me up the stairs--three flights! I made it, but quickly collapsed on the couch. My legs are still shaky from the epidural. I only came home to shower and see the dogs. They were elated! I could tell they knew something fishy was going on and only in a few days would they know for sure. I gave them some love and asked B to help me to the shower. Yesterday, I had a nurse stand outside my hospital room door while I sat on a cold plastic seat and sponged myself. I cried. I hated being alone. I hated the fact that Logan was in the NICU and I could not take him home. None of this was part of our plan. But it was apart of His plan.

I took a percocet before we came home and felt drunk. The pain below was dulled, but the emotional ache in my heart kept on. B was so sweet. He helped me sit down on the bed to take my shoes off, one at a time. Slowly, I undressed. I wanted B to shower with me, but I could not form the words so I asked him to wait outside the curtain. He sat on the toilet. As I stood in the shower, hot water beating down on my back, I felt like I was going to pass out. B climbed in with me. It had been a few weeks since we had been in our small shower together. Me with my big overdue belly. Now, no belly or baby accompanied us. He held me up under my arms and I could not stop the rush of tears. I sobbed over his shoulder for what seemed like hours. The water never seemed to turn cold. B lathered up my luffa and helped bathe me. I washed my hair, rinsed and leaned on B again. The combination of heat, drugs and overwhelming emotions brought us closer together than we had been in a long time. B comforted me in a way that he never has before. He held me up both physically and mentally, caressed my arms and told me countless times that Logan would be just fine, that he would come home soon. I never doubted his words.

B turned the water off. He never showed disgust over the mess my body was making. I was embarrassed, but had no control over it and he knew that. I know most fathers would probably ignore it the same way B did, but there are a few who would have said horrible things and made the embarrassment even worse. I kept apologizing for the mess, for crying like a crazy lady, for needing him so much. And then he kissed me. Kissed me hard. Kissed me until I forgot what my last thought was. He washed away the worry and held me tight. He told me he loved me more than anything, that none of that stuff mattered and that I could cry all I wanted. It was a great feeling then, knowing that my husband was on my side and would be forever. He helped me dry off and dress. I brushed my hair and we returned to the hospital to see our babe. He was sleeping peacefully. I will never forget this moment with B. Ever.

See? It's the little things. This is one of my top five best moments with B and maybe someday I will share the other four. Have a great day!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Of fires, houses and debt.

A regular update is long overdue. I find that I am not too fond of the moment by moment type of writing that most of you are so good at. I just think it's boring (for me! not you) and I want fun things to write about. Whelp...I waited long enough so in honor of this crazy-ass week I have here a list for you. Enjoy!

House hunting: Since we cancelled on contract with the first house three weeks ago we have been anxiously and fervernly looking for THE house. Let me tell you that is no easy feat, especially when we are limited by our financial qualifications and location. We desperately wanted to stay in the town we live in because our jobs are here and, well, we love it! But we were willing to look in the small towns that surround our college town. Within a week we were back out with our broker and the day concluded with a house that was a mile from our work in a newer neighborhood. The very fact that there was a house we could afford in this neighborhood was surprising. And once we saw the house, we knew it was THE ONE. When we got there, another couple arrived not five minutes later to see the house. Their broker was not with them and they started to walk around the house. Our broker kindly kicked them out until we were done and I did not feel bad about them waiting in the brisk wind outside! We came home and slept on it, but it was very obvious how smittin we were with the house. First thing the next morning we put an offer on the table and waited. We learned that there was another competing offer and so we upped ours. The seller accepted! We were then waiting to hear from the bank, being that this is a short sale, and we knew it might be awhile. Well, little did we know the sellers were trying to get a loan modification so they didn't have to sell the house the whole time we were waiting! Finally, yesterday morning they signed all the paperwork and we are officially under-contract! This feels so much better and different than the first house!! Can't wait to share more!
Fire: Two nights ago I was running a load of laundry in our ghetto dryer. It usually takes two cycles to dry clothes and before the first round was over I started to smell burning. I was not cooking anything and checked the laundry. The dryer was over-heating!! The clothes were so hot I could not even touch them!! I called maintenance and being that there was no fire it was not considered an emergency. So I had to let the wet clothes that were in the wash stay wet. I was so mad! I don't have a drying rack and no where near enough space to spread things out to dry. Maintenance came by yesterday afternoon (which they had told me would have been first thing in the morning!!!) and cleaned out or vent. It was pretty backed up. THEN I had been home with Logan for about a half hour making myself some pizza in the toaster oven. Logan was asleep and I was catching up on emails. I went to check on the pizza and IT WAS ON FIRE!! The whole toaster oven on the inside was on fire! Flames and they just kept sparking and making more!! I was fa-reaking out so the first thing I thought to do was throw water on it. While it was still on. While it was still plugged into the wall. Yeah...not my brightest moment but THANK THE GOOD LORD ABOVE I did not start an electrical fire and the flames ceased. However, the fire of anxiety and mild heart attack I was having did not cease. Not for the entire day. Oy.
Debt: I am happy and oh-so-proud to announce that we are 100% DEBT FREE!! Not one penny do we owe to anyone!! Thanks to our tax return we have paid all our credit cards and still have enough left over for savings, necessities and fun. B and I are going on a date on Friday and I CANNOT WAIT!!!
I know there is more...I just need to put it into a new post. :)

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Valentine's Day 2011

I am a terrible wife and blogger in that I completely FORGOT my camera for this oh so amazing evening. At least it will live on in our hearts and minds forever, kind of like our 1st honeymoon (camping without camera).

Anyway, this is quite the special Valentine's Day, but for a long time there I thought it would just be another normal night at home with Logan, which I was somewhat dreading. It is not very often that my hubby and I get a chance to have a night alone to talk about things other than Logan and work. I was craving a night to ourselves even if it meant just a nice dinner for an hour with a babysitter at home.

A few weeks back I told B how much I would love to recreate our first date sometime this year. Our first date anniversary is on February 23rd and being that Valentine's day is just a week prior I am okay with combining both of the celebrations. I enjoy our anniversary more anyway.

On Sunday night I had resolved that we would be taking Logan with us to a nice dinner. I kept asking B if he wanted the sitter's phone number and he kept saying he didn't need it. I was annoyed that of the two or three dates out of the year for us to have an excuse to a nice night out alone he was not taking full advantage of it! B had been very evasive about our plans and was not indicating what or where we would be going. I was okay with a nice surprise, but I was still frustrated that Logan was going to be coming along. Give me a break! I wanted a night ALONE with my hubby!!

So late on Sunday night B offered to give me a back rub, which he rarely ever does. I was elated! As I was laying there we were talking about Valentine's Day and he asked if I would like to know what we were doing. Of course I said yes! He had been stringing me along for two weeks! Tell me already! Then, out of no where, he said that I needed to pack an over night bag for all of us. That we were spending the night with his mom in Denver. That she would be babysitting Logan while we had our night on the town, recreating our first date!! I WAS SO SURPRISED!!! Hence, why we didn't need a sitter! I could not stop smiling and laughing. It is not very often that B surprises me with something like this and it felt so good to feel so loved.

On Valentine's Day, I got us ready to go while B worked. I cleaned up the house and bathed Logan. Packed a light bag and waited for him to come home. We left around 3:30pm and arrived at my mother in laws around 5pm. We quickly changed our clothes, gave Logan a kiss goodbye, and headed for the light rail. Finally, ALONE with B!!

The light rail took us a good half hour to get down town which is really no different than driving. We stepped off on California Street and headed straight for the Tilted Kilt, a better version of Hooters. The food, the service, the drinks were amazing!! Even our server gave us a free app because she was a few minutes late taking our order. We gushed over each other and B broke his no PDA rule countless times. It was so sweet.

Later, we headed over to the movie theater. We had been bowling the night before and while that was apart of our original date night, we both wanted to see a movie instead (which, on our first date we wanted to see a movie but didn't have the time). We saw Just Go With It with Jennifer Anniston and Adam Sandler. It was awesome! So funny and cute. Way better than I was expecting.

By the time we got home it was 11:30pm and we were spent! The night was perfect and having that special time with B was more than needed. Our relationship is renewed, again, and our love is on fire. I love him with every fiber of my being and I am so proud to call him my husband.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

A Nightmare

>I am usually not very good at remembering my dreams. But last night was different. First off, it snowed like a banshee outside for a good 30 minutes and quit before I had to come home. My anxiety of driving home in what was sure to be black ice gripped me. I arrived home safely and quickly made my way to bed with B. We were both exhausted and I didn't even crack open my book to read. My head hit the pillow and there I closed my eyes and waited. I waited for sleep to overcome me and take me away to dream land. It was two whole hours before that happened and around 12:45am Logan woke up crying. I tried to let him cry himself back to sleep for a few minutes but he just got more desperate for me to rescue him. He had vaccines on Friday night and our Saturday was a rough one (hence the exhaustion).

I rocked Logan back to sleep without feeding him and laid him back down. Thirty minutes later he was crying again. I made a quick bottle and he ate it quickly. At this point I was delirious. I had a head ache setting in and my eyes stung from the lack of sleep. I tucked myself back into bed and B said, "good job Sarah". I smiled silently and quickly fell asleep.

What came next was more than just a bad dream, but a nightmare. I was driving around with B somewhere in Denver. It was somewhat familiar and we were suddenly on a roof, sitting in chairs under dark lighting. He was leaving me. I was desperate. I kept begging him over and over to stay with me. I never asked why, which is odd when there did not seem to be any reason. All he kept saying in the dream was "no, I have to go" and I could not stop sobbing. Though the setting was odd, the dream felt horribly real. Logan woke me from the dream around 6am and I felt so confused. I was confused, waking up next to B, realizing the falsehood of the dream. I tended to Logan once again and he went back to sleep. I snuggled in closer to B and told him right away what I had dreamed. He instantly comforted me, telling me it's okay, nothing like that would ever happen and I know that is true. He would never leave me. I would never leave him. But for some reason the dream took a hold on my consciousness that defined my attitude all day. I was snappy and cranky with B and almost mad at him without any good reason. I had to stop myself several times and tell him how sorry I was, that it has to have been the dream that has caused me to be so grumpy with him. He was so understanding and sweet. I have the most incredible husband and I hate that I had such a horrible dream.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Making An Offer

>I have some serious catching up to do in the way of the Project 31 challenge and life in general. For now, though, I thought I'd share our experience with making an offer on a house. That's right folks: we found a house we nearly love and made an offer on it yesterday!

Before making an offer, you MUST have your finances in order and when I say this I don't just mean you know what you make and your DH makes and what you spend. That is wayyyyy to general. You must literally disect every single little expense and factor in emergencies (like if you have pets) and anything upcoming (medical procedures, etc). B spent and entire DAY doing this. After it was done, we knew exactly what we could afford in the way of a mortgage. The next step was letting our lender know what that was.

We found this house on the first day we went out house hunting nearly 2 weeks ago. B was instantly in love and I was almost there. I was not in love with the location-yet. And this is SO SO SOOOOO important. No matter how nice and perfect the house is, you MUST like the location. You have to understand that when you're buying a house, you're also buying the location. If you have messy neighbors, a busy street, and a really long drive to work is it really worth it? Our house is on the corner and the street in front is not busy, but it certainly has moderate traffic. We stood around on the property for a good 20 minutes, watching the neighbors and cars go by. It is a very quite neighborhood and the traffic was not noisy or a safety concern.

After we had seen close to 15 properties we kept coming back to this house. We'd compare it to the others and in no way was this house comparable. It is that great. So on our last day out last week, we felt like we had seen it all, the best of the best in our price range and it was time to make a decision. Over the weekend we checked on the overall growth of the town, schools, churches, medical centers, and yes, nearby sex offenders. This down is on the rise in nearly every category (minus the sex offenders--there are eight in the entire town). We were ready to make a jump and try not to lose the house. We sat around thinking about it for so long we truly hoped it was still available. Lucky for us, it is a foreclosure and a previous offer on it last week did not go anywhere. It was go time!

We contacted our lender and had him send us a prequal letter and set up a time to meet with our realtor. We wanted to have our offer in first thing in the morning. Monday morning, we were up early. Nerves and happy anxiety coursed through our veins. We had breakfast at IHOP and headed to the office. Our realtor was still having trouble getting a hold of the listing agent on the house over the weekend so we tried again and he got through! He determined that the house was still available and it was time to make an offer. We called our lender and determined, based on what our offer would be, what our monthly payment would be just for good measure and got the ball rolling.

We spent the next hour and a half reading tons of paper work and initialing it at the bottom. Now, how do you make a good offer? The house was listed at nearly $5000 over what we were qualified for so we knew we would be going in at the top end of our qualification. We then put down $2000 in earnest money. Earnest money is just a way of saying, "Hey, we are super serious about this" and asked for $2500 in closing costs. Most realtors tell you that at least $1000 is necessary for earnest money but we wanted the bank to see our aggression. We also asking for part of the closing costs because banks rarely ever replace something if there is a flaw in the inspection. The buyer is always responsible for those things and well, it's the least they could do. ;) We asked to hear from the bank by Wednesday with an acceptance or counter offer and we were off. Logan had fallen asleep in his stroller and we were beaming ear to ear. Had we really just done that?!?!

Not four hours later the phone rang....

(TO BE CONTINUED...)

Monday, December 20, 2010

2010 Year in Review

Wow. I cannot believe it is that time of year again. This is the third year I have posted my year in review and there are a few more picture per month this year because I could not just chose one. It goes without saying that our lives have completely changed, for the better, in the last year and BOY what a year that has been.

The last part of this year has been tough, for many reasons, but it is clear that 2011 is going to be something brand new, something to look forward to, and with out a doubt full of AWESOME changes, some of which will stay under wraps until then. So, join me in remembering one of the best, most rewarding, and most challenging year I have ever experienced. Being here to write and share this with you is such a privilege and I love you all!

January 2010

I started off my year 9 months pregnant, still working 4 days a week, and anxiously preparing our little family for a new addition. It is so fun to remember and think back to this time last year and all the anticipation that waiting for a baby causes. On the day before my due date, B used his mad skillz and created out little space baby. It was one of the very last fun things we did as just us and I'll never forget that Sunday afternoon.

February 2010

Exactly one week after his due date and the day after the Super Bowl, Logan Jack joined us, screaming so hard he popped a hole in his lung and spent 5 days in the NICU. I will never forget the day Logan stole our hearts.

This was nearly 15 hours after Logan was born and the first time I was able to hold him.

March 2010

Logan and I took a trip to Steamboat Springs to visit his great aunt and uncle, as well as his Great-grandma Boots. She would have loved little Logan!

April 2011

On April 25th, Logan was welcomed into our church on the day he was baptized. The ceremony was perfect and we had our family with us.

May 2010

My 1st Mother's Day.

June 2010

We took Logan to his first Rockies game. It was a perfect day, having rained earlier and then clearing up for the Rockies to win big!

July 2010

Logan's first 4th of July celebration. It poured that night, so we did not see any fireworks...maybe next year!

A few of our July summer days were spent with miss H, Logan's girlfriend.

August 2010

B and I celebrated 2 years of marriage and I turned 26! We had a great time driving over the mountains, having left Logan for the first time with Gamma and Pop.

We took Logan to his first concert and it was great! He loves music, especially the Gorillaz.

September 2010

I continued working full time and one morning Logan wanted to take pics with me all glammed up. I love this little ham!

October 2010

Our first ever family vacation was to Michigan and Logan is a great traveler. He could not have asked for better Michigan weather in October and better people to have spent that time with! It was a fantastic trip!

November 2010

November was a pretty mellow month for our family. We played a lot and I continued to stress out about working and being a mom. So tough.

December 2010

This month, like November, has just been crazy. To begin, I cannot believe it is almost Christmas! We are so excited to celebrate this special holiday with our little man. He is mostly into the ribbons, bows, and bells that come with all the presents he keeps seeing around. He loves all the lights on the Christmas trees and wants to eat the ornaments on the tree. Typical little boy. Just today I watched him destroy the room, pulling everything off the shelves and out of the drawers. He was so happy and I was entertained by his independence. I want nothing more than for this little person to celebrate 98 more Christmases.

I'm lacking on posts this week, so I wish each of you a very Merry Christmas.

Cheers!

Monday, November 15, 2010

The Marriage Confessions: Day 2 Your Spiritual Connection

(One of my most favorite photos from our wedding ceremony. Pastor is blessing our rings as we pray with him.)

It is no secret that I love Jesus and praise my God daily. I am constantly praying throughout the day:

“Please God, keep me safe as I travel to Denver.”

“Please God, lead me to making the right choice.”

“God, thank you for your guidance and love.”

“God, please ease my mind and anxiety.”

I constantly pray for safety, healthy and guidance. And just as much I am always giving thanks for the blessings in the day that I am given.

When B and I first started dating, our spiritual connection was not important. I know that sounds bad, but for whatever reason it was just something we kind of avoided. But not for long. I learned that B is Catholic to my Methodist. I am not going to get into all the semantics of either, however, the important thing to note was that B was not a practicing Catholic. He only went to Mass with his father and since we met while in college, that was not very often.

I, on the other hand, had a pretty strong spiritual walk and even if I did not go to church every weekend, I loved my Jesus and did what I could to learn and grow closer to Him. Bringing the two of us together spiritually took some time. I did not want to be pushy and B was kind of stiff about the whole idea of going to church with me. Any of the SUPER Christians (insert: sarcasm) I knew in college would have immediately sent him home and moved on. I was willing to wait and do what I could to find out why he was a little lost.

According to the Bible (and I am not one to quote versus because I don’t know them, just general ideas, so I won’t), the man is supposed to be the spiritual leader. Well, the man is also supposed to smack his wife around and I’m not cool with that. So the fact that I was and still am spiritually stronger than B is no big deal to me. Since we started to dating nearly 4 years ago, B has grown leaps and bounds as a spiritual husband. He no longer shies away from talking about our believes and values. We pray together. We go to church together. And we have 100% committed to raising Logan to know his Savior. We want nothing more than for Logan to be a strong man of God, much like his daddy is becoming.

So how is our spiritual connection? Before I can answer that, it must be said that our spiritual walk together will always be growing and changing just like our personal walks. Currently, our spiritual needs are on the back burner. Sundays are our only family days and we are perfectly happy spending the day at home watching football. We pray together, but not often and we hardly ever read the Bible. This is hard to admit. I wish it were different. I wish we were better. But that just gives me reassurance that we have a lot to strive for, when we’re ready. It’s safe to say we are a little lazy about our spiritual connection as husband and wife. What doesn’t change is that we do rely heavily on our Jesus to lift us up and I know that B prays as much as I do. I know that we are only as strong as we are together and that we have a lot to work on.

How are you and your spouse spiritually connected? How do you stay disciplined to read and pray together? What do you need to improve?

The Marriage Confessions Day 1 Fighting Fair

I love the picture above. We took it just a few days before I graduated from college at a school music fest. It was a May day and as you can see the weather was perfect. No, we did not fight on this day. We were simply silly.

***

Ask anyone and they will tell you they hate to fight. Whether it is with your husband, your children, or the bitchy lady in the mall who runs her stroller into yours--on purpose. Fighting sucks and I have never been one to fight. BUT. I am one tough cookie. When I feel strongly about something, you better believe I will fight til the end to win. Yes, win. The gratifying feeling of a solid win in an argument is quite the victory for me. Sadly, as soon as I am done doing my happy dance and finally look over to see his sad, defeated face, I feel bad.

I have a very hard time remembering the bad fights B and I have had and I could count them on one hand in the almost 4 years we have been together. I am not saying that to be boastful--it’s true. We hardly ever fight and when we do, it is rather epic. But then we usually drink ourselves into a silly stupor and I beg God to rid my memory of it ever happening. He does a great job doing so.

So how do we fight? I never see B’s stubbornness come out until he is adamant about something. He can be just as stubborn as me, but you’d never guess it with his laid back “whatever” attitude.

Any time a disagreement comes up, we both try to understand and listen to the other persons concerns and go from there. Sometimes I am way out of line and B has to bring me back to earth (thank you anxiety!) and other times I do the same for B. This is why our marriage works. We never want to hurt the other person and even though I said I like to win, I would much rather lose and make my husband happy more than anything else. It’s not worth it to me.

So here are a few principles we practice to keep things fair in our fighting:

1) We NEVER go to bed angry. We resolve whatever it is that is on our minds so that we can give one another a genuine kiss good night and not feel resentful while we try to fall asleep. There have been times (maybe one or two) when we sat across from each other for HOURS without saying anything into the early morning. Finally, someone apologizes or something and we move on. We made this rule within the first few months of dating.

2) We NEVER walk out on each other. We’re allowed to go into another room to cool off or just be alone. But under no circumstances is anyone allowed to walk out that door.

3) We never curse or name call. This is a biggie. Watch Teen Mom and that is all you see Amber do to Gary and it’s no wonder their relationship doesn’t work out. They hate each other! Just because we are fighting, does not mean that all respect and love goes out the window. Sure there may be a few eff bombs, but not like an “eff you” type thing. Saying stuff like that would just make matters worse and it would make us like each other less.

4) We NEVER fight in front of Logan and we ALWAYS make up in front of him. We made this rule early on in my pregnancy. If we begin to get heated about something, we either wait it out until Logan is in bed or we go into another room while Logan is safe in his jumper or swing. We make it quick. I actually think having Logan around makes us want to fight less because we don’t want him to hear our raised voices and angry tones. Secondly, we always kiss and make up in front of him. And we always will. Logan, and all the other children we have someday, need to know that just because mommy and daddy have a disagreement, doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. My parents hardly ever got heated in front of me and they always made up so I could see that they weren’t going anywhere. They’ve been married for 29 years and there is totally something to be said for that.

5) We make up again. Later. You know what I mean. Need I say more?

No one likes to fight, but you do need to know how to do it right so that no one walks out on the other. After just over 2 years of marriage, I can safely say that B and I still have a lot to learn. But the 5 principles we follow above are going to get us through tough times. Being a parent and having been raised differently is going to pose some interesting arguments over the years. Compromise, love and respect are the only way for us to make it through a fight or argument. We even try to figure out the best way so that we both “win” and that is only through discussing ways to compromise.

Now, how do you fight fair?

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Marriage Confessions: A New Kind of Blog Challenge

The Marriage Confessions

Day 1: Fighting Fair
Day 2: Your Spiritual Connection
Day 3: Your Family Dynamics
Day 4: Always Room for Improvement
Day 5: Behind Closed Doors

This week long challenge was created because I feel like all I talk about is Logan. B is the reason why we have Logan. I need to bring the focus back to my husband and the reasons as to why we are married. Being a wife is so much more than doing laundry, cooking dinner, and taking care of the babies. Being a wife is about love, friendship, and connections on many different levels. It's about constantly growing and falling in love with your mate. Everything else is just a happy perk. Being a mother is the greatest perk and I know you do not have to be married to have children, but being a wife and then donning the MOM title is an incredible life change. Ironically, once that little baby shows up the marriage tends to fall to the wayside and it is all about the baby. Is he hungry? Is he tired? Did you change his diaper? Why did you just do that?! And so on and so forth.

Well this week, I am dedicating every post to the man I love and I hope you will join me. I am no where near cool enough to set up a Mr. Linky so just go ahead and leave a comment. Share this challenge with your friends. My prayer, not just for myself, but for all of you is that we can learn more about who we are as a wife and what we can do to make that title more sexy, more smart, and more fun. How we can make our marriages flourish and fall in love all over again with the men we said "I do" to.

Wanna join me? This adventure in writing begins on Monday November 15th. The topics above will be discussed. Start brainstorming and have fun!

Lots of bloggie love,

Sarah

Monday, August 23, 2010

Domestic Discipline or Intimate Negotiations?

>Get ready for this: I'm about to open a whopping huge can of worms. I would first like to say that maybe I am quite ignorant to not think this sort of thing happens OR I just happen to live under a rock. Either way, I HAD NO IDEA that there was such a thing a Domestic Discipline and exactly what that entails. To me, there was either a happy, abuse-free marriage, or there wasn't. You or your hubby touch each other in an unloving way? Abuse. Plain and simple. But why am I bringing this up? Well, it must have something to do with my freakish obsession with society and how people act, think, believe, and practice a laundry list of different things.

Before I go any further, I want to be clear that I am in no way meaning to judge or disrespect anyone. That said, there is a chance that is how this is going to sound. As I said above, if you are being physically abused or abusive, that in no way is acceptable. Furthermore (and totally unrelated), we (B and I) do NOT believe in spanking. K, let's move on.

Let's start with a definition: (credit)

A Domestic Discipline (DD) marriage is one in which one partner is given authority over the other, and has the means to back up that authority, usually by spanking. The application and practise of DD in each marriage is as unique as the individuals who make up that marriage.

Now, if you're anything like me and B, we heard this (or rather, I read it from another blog) and our jaws dropped in a somewhat mocking manner. Spanking?? Your wife?? Really?? I mean, is that even allowed? I know that the lines turn grey here because it is considered okay for parents to discipline their children with spankings. Okay, I get it. However, every blog I have recently come across where woman are the victims (YES, I said VICTIMS!) of this kind of behavior, they state why they are being spanked, with what, for how long and how much pain they are in afterwards, both physically and emotionally. Let me just tell you that my whole heart broke for these woman. To think that this is an OKAY way to have a marriage with someone who is supposed to love you and treat you as an equal is just not cool. So sure, B and I joked about it all weekend saying, "Oh man B, I screwed up. Looks like you're gonna have to spank me!" And we'd chase each other around the house playfully.

The sad part is, there is nothing playful about this. If this is something that is apart of your intimate relationship, great. Keep it to yourself. I don't want to hear or read about it. But as a form of punishment? I don't think so! So what are these women being punished for?

Swearing, back-talking, disrespect, etc.: mouth washed out with hot sauce or soap
Doing something dangerous, making plans without permission, spending more than X amount of money without permission, speeding/getting a ticket/traffic warning, etc: Time out in the corner (sometimes naked), letter of apology, lecture and lastly, spanking (bare bottom, bare hand "warm up", then to the paddle, belt, switch for 15-50 (they loose count!) spanks!!!)

If you ask me, it just sounds like good 'ol DH just needs a fun excuse to get the switch out on the wifey, show his male dominance, control and head-of-household manly-man status. Also, many of these woman (and guests posts from DH) make the excuse more than once that this is no way is "like how you treat a 5 year old". Ummm last I checked that is exactly how five year olds are treated when they misbehave! (minus the spanking in our house). Go ahead and take that in for a moment. I'll wait....

In my efforts to respect the blogs of the woman whom I have been reading about, there are no links to their blogs. However, if you're interested I am sure that Google can help you out. The whole point of this post is to share how B and I DO NOT run our household, rather we have Intimate Negotiations. We might raise our voices, swear, back-talk, get cranky and disrespectful, and so on, but we always work it out. We want the best for each other. We are a team and nothing less. If you or someone you know is in this kind of situation, I am curious to know more. I want to understand why this is so acceptable with a growing number of newlyweds. Help me out here and thanks for reading!

Happy Monday!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Huge Money-Saver

So it's no secret that we need to save every penny we can, where possible. B has been listening to Dave Ramsey, the financial help guy with a nice sense of humor. We have been skimping HUGE at home when it comes to meals, which seems like the worst place to skimp, but lets be honest. Food is expensive and I suck at cooking. However, if I could find a method to shop effectivly for several meal options, I would try to cook healthier and more often for my family. Plus, Logan is on solids now and I want to start getting him to taste real people food (cooked egg yolk, chicken, etc.). I was over on Marital Bless and Leah was talking about a new way they have been cooking and saving money. It's called e-mealz.com. I checked the site out and was instantly intrigued so I read as much as I could and learned that Dave Ramsey himself highly recommends this site. Done deal. I created my membership and printed out last weeks meals and this weeks. Then, I realized, when the hell am I going to make it to the store?

Unless I shop on a Sunday (our only family day of the week) or Mondays I will not make it to the store for the week. Our nights, once we're home from work and getting Logan ready for bed, are just so jam-packed and we're exhausted. Going to the store is the last thing either of us want to do. Our local grocers have a delivery service but I had never tried it before. I went on line super early this morning with my e-mealz.com shopping lists in hand and selected everything I needed, including a few extras not pertaining to the meals. I had never shopped like this before, meaning I have never gathering a list of incrediants needed for specific meals and shopped for them. I know: shocking. Within a half hour (a shopping trip with Logan, waiting for check out, and lugging everything up 3 flights of stairs takes OVER and hour easily) the shopping was done and I spent LESS THAN $100!!! I am so impressed. I just hope that I can be organized over the next few weeks to create each meal and enjoy it. If any of you decided to try this out, let me know how it works for ya!!

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Last night, we took Logan to his first concert. We have a local music, food and fun fest going on this weekend and a few of our favorite local bands are playing so last night we took Logan downtown and as you can see from the pictures, he had a great time, as did we!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

2 Years of Bliss

>August 8, 2010

I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you (the day I came over for a visit, you asked me to coffee, and I drove off with a perma smile)
Yes there’s a chance that I’ve fallen quite hard over you. (the day you kissed me in ESPN Zone and I beat you bowling)
I’ve seen the paths that your eyes wander down (ha, up and down, my friend!)
I want to come too… (yeah, you’re pretty damn cute too!)

I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you (no, I KNOW I’ve fallen for you)

No one understands me quite like you do (no one, no one but you)
Through all of the shadowy corners of me (light and dark, good and bad)

I never knew just what it was
About this old coffee shop I love so much
All of the while I never knew…
Ahh…

I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you
Yes there’s a chance that I’ve fallen quite hard over you.
I’ve seen the waters that make your eyes shine
now I’m shining too

Because, oh because
I’ve fallen quite hard over you (harder than ever, and I keep falling)

If I didn’t know you, I’d rather not know
If I couldn’t have you, I’d rather be alone (I could never live without you in my life)

I never knew just what it was (those eyes, smile, touch, kiss, everything!)
About this old coffee shop I love so much
All of the while, I never knew
I never knew just what it was
About this old coffee shop I love so much
All of the while, I never knew

All of the while, All of the while it was you
You…
You…
You…

Happy Two Years to my most favorite person in the entire world. You rock it, B, each and every day. Here’s to two-hundred more!

Kisses.

(lyrics by Landon Pigg)

A Mexican Getaway

>April 27, 2010

One year ago today, we packed our bags, drove through a snow storm, boarded a plane and landed in sunny and HOT Los Cabos, Mexico. We were one our long-awaited honeymoon, nearly 9 months after we said our “I Do’s”. This particular day is special for another reason and while one may think it’s just a little bit too much information, well then you can go somewhere else. In case you haven’t noticed already, TMI has become my middle name since I had a baby.

Anyway, while on our plane ride, I discovered something no woman wants to discover at the start of a very special vacation. That’s right, you guessed it! Mother natures special monthly gift showed up on our way to Mexico. Oh my eff. Are you kidding me? I was so upset! But as always, B comforted me and said it was okay. No big deal.

So I let it go. We had the best vacation we could have hoped for. We laid out in the sun every day, ate next to a gallon of guac, drank just as much, if not more in tequila (well, you know when Jose is ONLY $6 for a liter, you gotta stock up! Much cheaper than paying at the bar), went sea kayaking with seals, tried snorkeling, played poker, and fell in love all over again. I also watched Ghostbusters for the first time ever on the only rainy day (7 days in and our 8th day is rainy, I say that’s good timing!). I loved vacationing with B in Mexico and I hope we can do it again with Logan.

So why was my pointing out AF’s arrival on the plane ride over important? Well, because that was THE LAST TIME I SAW HER, AND HAVE YET TO SEE HER AGAIN! One whole year without a monthly nuisance. Can you say blessed?? YEP! Since I am still semi-nursing Logan, it could still be a month or two or three before that happens again. NO, it does not mean I’m prego again! That won’t be happening for a long time.

Until then, I am just going to enjoy the most special little gift I ever laid eyes on. Just wish we were in Mexico.

We Are For Each Other

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