Feeling...a little sad and under the weather. His beta fish died a few days ago. He said he was sad, but was also just as excited for his new beta fish, Charlotte. He also has a new cough. No other symptoms, but he doesn't like it and keeps telling us he's sick.
Imagining...how the food I eat goes "down, down down" to the baby. He's so cute.
Considering...everything. He takes a moment to make choices now and sometimes, they are not the choice we want him to make (like not wanting to get dressed in the morning).
Listening to...Butte and Tulo. He has doggie ESP. He loves playing with them and has convinced them that sleeping in his room is the best place in the house to sleep.
Moving...his body! This kid...every night just about an hour before bedtime he revs up and runs around the house. He plays hockey with daddy, shoots baskets, runs in circles around the dogs, jumps around...he's all over the place!
Feeling...very pregnant. Achy, tired, annoyed...you name it. I'm also feeling happy and excited that we only have 8ish weeks left until this little babe arrives!
Imagining...what life with two kids will be like! Everyone with two or more children try to chime in their opinions and thoughts. Everyone has something different to say, however, most agree that there is nothing else like it!
Considering...plans for the weekend. Easter is just a few days away and we are not sure what we will be doing yet!
Listening to...theOh Hello's! This song is so beautiful! I heard that they don't want to sign on a record label so that means that when you purchase their songs, the money goes straight to them and not to some big name label which I think is awesome!!
Moving...on a ball. I bounce all day at work. It seriously helps the hip and pelvic pains. Doesn't make it go away, but much more comfy than sitting on a chair.
32 weeks pregnant!!
How big is baby:Hoepfully 3.5ish pounds! I feel like baby has had a huge growth spurt over the last week or so.
Weight gain/loss:30 pounds.
Stretch marks:Just a few from last time on my upper legs/hips.
Sleep: Horrible. It takes me forever to fall asleep and then with this pelvic pain even just turning over in bed makes me cringe....and some nights I do actually sleep well and it makes a world of difference!
Diet/Cravings/Aversions:Chinese food, pasta.
Labor signs: contractions (2-3 an hour), 1cm dilated.
Movement:Tons. Love it.
What I'm loving: Going to physical therapy! I have only had one session so far, and I think it's going to work!
Symptoms:Heartburn, contractions, achy back, hips and legs, pelvic pain.
What I'm looking forward to: Easter and some prenatal swim classes that start in a few weeks.
Best moment of the week: The hip and low back massage my PT gave me yesterday.
I am very careful about getting political and actually stating my true stances on certain subjects. I like to refrain from sharing those things on public forums and the blog just because I am not a fighter. I don't want to argue. If I disagree with something, I tend to keep it to myself (on FB) because I seriously hate the drama that some posts ignite. And yes, I do think that some people really want to piss people off and see where it goes. We are humans. I happen to hate conflict while others enjoy it (WHO ARE YOU?!). ;) I kid. Anyway, this whole gay marriage thing, however, has me reeling. I really need to write out my feelings. This is not to offend anyone or anything. I believe that everyone has the right to be respected. Period. No matter what your opinion happens to be (however, if it goes against safety, then I'm not so respectful).
The part of this entire debate that really has me coming here to write is where devout Christians are stating that those of us who are Christians and believe in human equality and support the gay marriage debate are somehow not Christian, or less of one. That is THE most judgmental thing a Christian could say. I'm not judging those that think that; I am simply saying that makes me sad. I am a Christian. I believe in prayer, love, guidance, and equality. I am just as passionate about women's rights. Women fought very hard for the rights that we have today and I am very grateful, however women are still fighting for equality. All this to say that I don't see a difference. I saw a quote on FB from someone that has since been removed this morning. Really? We're stooping that low? I just find so much disrespect in that. The original poster is free to say what he/she believes (whether I agree or not) so why can't one of their friends say what he/she believes too? Even if it goes against what the original poster said? It's hypocritical.
This is about as far as I am going to get into this. Just to make a few things clear:
I am a Christian.
I do not believe every single last word of the Bible (anti-birth control, pro physical discipline are among the things I disagree with) THIS DOES NOT MAKE ME LESS OF A CHRISTIAN!
I believe in love.
I believe that everyone deserves to be happy.
I believe that everyone deserves to love whomever they wish to love.
I believe in raising my children to be respectful.
I believe in raising my children to love EVERYONE for who they are.
I believe in forgiveness.
I believe that I am a sinner.
I believe that you are a sinner.
I believe in human equality.
Lastly, everyone is welcome to comment how you wish, I just ask that you are RESPECTFUL. I will not publish harsh, rude, disrespectful or otherwise comments. Thank you!
The warmer weather, budding trees, new life, longer days...I love spring.
2. Favorite kind of flowers to grow or receive?
(sunflowers were our wedding flowers!)
I love Sunflowers but I have never tried to grow them and unless we buy some land someday, I probably won't try. I hear they are buggers to grow.
3. What is your favorite outdoor activity?
Oh man. I love being outside. Last summer I LOVED just hanging out in our backyard, just days after having bought our very first home, and hanging out with Logan while he played in his pool. The summer was HOT, nearly 100* most days in July and so relaxing. In cooler months, well let's be honest: I hate the cold. I love skiing, though, so maybe next season I will get a few days in.
4. Do you have any fun spring plans?
Ummmmm HAVE A BABY!! Seriously, what is more fun than that?! Also...finishing up school, closing out on work (due to baby) and making plans with friends. I am craving girlfriend time so bad right now.
I think I have written a similar post on pain in the past but I'm going to go dig for it. It may or may not have had to do with pregnancy...either way, pain is pain. The last week and a half have been so incredibly hard. Physically and emotionally, I have been in pain. It comes and goes in intensity (but is always constant), there are days that are worse than others, and it seems silly that something as simple as WALKING is what makes it worse. Seriously. I cannot wrap my head around that.
My friends and family know that I have a very low tolerance for pain. I talked about that in a previous post on natural childbirth. I kind of turn into a mess when I am in pain and its never a graceful mess either. I whine. I complain. I cry. And I'm needy. In this case, I am all of the above and then some. And most of all, I hate it. I hate that I am those things when I am in pain. I hate that I have to depend on others for almost everything now and that this is interfering with working so much so that I cannot even go in some days. The reasons for my staying home and the reasons form my taking it easy are all good, necessary reasons. I get that. I'm taking care of myself and the baby. This in no way affects the baby and the only thing concerning the baby might be his/her positioning. Logan was a true OP baby, meaning that from start to finish in labor, he was face forward and sunny side up coming out. This caused the back labor as his spine was against my spine.
So I've been tapping into every resource I can. Chiros are pretty much out of the question since my insurance doesn't cover it, as well as acupuncture. I have a massage this Saturday and I'm really hoping that some minor manipulations can help things out. I've been icing the area every few hours (while home). I don't have the ability to do this at work and for a short period of time, this is numbing the area and feels fantastic. I also took a really warm bath the other night and that felt good too, though not as relieving as the ice. Lastly, I will be seeing PT in a few weeks to hopefully relieve pain. All this to say, I am trying everything I can think of to ease this pain. I read up on some movements I can try via spinningbabies.com. I need B's help to make sure I don't kill myself by nearly standing on my head, so we will try a few things out tonight.
Giving up control, control which I never even had, is the hardest part. This is where the emotional pain comes in. I am already a hormonal mess and I feel guilty that so many people have to make exceptions for me (work) and that B has to help with just about everything at home. I know that this is normal, to a point, that pregnancy warrants these changes at certain times, sometimes worse for others. I am so grateful that baby and I are healthy and that this is technically not a serious health problem. However, if I don't slow down and I try to push through the pain, the screaming part of my body that is telling me to slow the eff down, then I could end up doing some damage and I in no way to want to happen either. I don't want this to cause future pelvic support problems.
I've been praying. Prayer is something that comes and goes in my life and lately, I feel very driven towards prayer. It doesn't suit everyone, but something about talking to Him and the baby, as well as my body, helps ease the emotional stress. I tell my body to relax, to accept the pain and eliminate it. I tell the baby that I love her/him and that every ache and pain is more than worth it for them. I have 9ish more weeks to go. No matter what happens with work (my biggest stressor), I know that I will be doing what's best for me. Hopefully that does not include bed rest, but I have to give up that control, too.
What is your favorite thing to do on a rainy (snowy) day? We LOVE movies. Redbox is just down the street so we always pick up a movie or two and hunker down.
What is your favorite thing to do on a summer weekend? BBQ and relax outside in our back yard! I love warm summer nights with friends, beer and our kids just running around!
What is your favorite spring activity? Again, anything we can do outside! When I was in college I loved playing outdoor volleyball with all my roommates.
What is your favorite way to spend a winter day? We love combining the movie days with some outdoor play in the snow as long as it isn't too cold. More often than not, our Colorado winters have been mild and we've been lucky to see snow a few times.
What is your favorite season and why? I LOVE summer time! And this summer will be especially fun since we will have a new baby, I won't be working or going to school and there will be so much for us to do outside! Logan loves playing in his outdoor pool with Butte. Those two together are best friends.
What is the best birthday you ever had? Oh gosh...I have no idea! My birthday, at least the last few years, has been interesting. I've been sick or traveling or working. My 22nd birthday was amazing. I spent it on the Jersey Shore with my family. I had spent the entire summer and had been having a little summer fling with a sailer from Harvard...we went out with another girlfriend to the bars on the beach and had an absolute blast!
In other news...
We were in a little car accident yesterday after the St. Patty's Day parade. Everyone is fine and the car had just a little damage on the front bumper. The other driver was at fault as she did not have a turn signal on and side swiped me while I was stopped. The police officer was very kind and easy to work with, which meant neither of us were ticketed. This is great, however I still think she deserved a ticket for not using a signal! Ugh, I was so frustrated.
The pains have been up and down. I feel the worst at the end of the day after I have been more active. Last night wasn't too bad, but Logan was in a horrible mood and I had no patience for his constant arguing and lack of listening. So when he accidentally dropped a cup on my toe I lost it. All the days events and frustrations just came pouring out. Thank you pregnancy hormones.
For the rest of the day I will be studying for my huge Bio midterm. Happy Sunday!
I have to brag about my kid for a minute. Logan is the kind of kid who is very introspective. He likes to watch things and is very cautious to try new things. He is easily frightened by scary cartoons or movies and is quick to let us know. He is also very smart, of course, and last year around this time I bought an Elmo potty seat for him with some new Elmo undies. And there they sat in our tiny bathroom until he finally decided to bring the potty out into the living room and investigate it. He took the little pot out and filled it with his toy cars. Sometimes he would sit on it, but it would be another month or two before he thought about using it for its true purpose.
In May the weather turned around and it felt like summer. He was playing outside everyday for hours and at some point, he decided that outside was a great place to pee, especially since the dogs did their business outside. And that is how he started to potty train himself. I cannot even begin to describe how easy the entire process was for us. I feel so blessed because I was really expecting it to take forever with lots of tears, struggles and messes. I never wanted that to happen and thankfully, it did not.
By the middle of June he was in undies most of the time. I was still putting him in a pull up for outings and bed time and when he wasn't feeling well. Then, byt he end of the summer he was about 90% trained with little effort from us. He just started lasting longer and would tell us when he needed to go potty. The other 10% was doing his other business and night/nap times. Through the fall we really worked with him on doing his business on the big potty but for whatever reason, he was pretty hesitant and fearful of it. I'm not sure why, but he just wasn't ready and we did not want to push him. I was already quite pregnant and fighting over pooping in the potty was the last thing I wanted to do.
Sometime over Christmas he finally just started doing his business in the potty and would wake up more often than not with a dry pull up. One night we decided it was time to totally ditch the pull ups. We told him that we would leave the light on in his bathroom and that if he needed to go in the middle of the night that he could. And that was that. Sure, he still has an accident every now and then, more so when he is sick and paying less attention to his body. But now that he is over all the yuckies he has been amazing. I think it's been almost an entire month without an accident.
All this to say...he has been the only boy his age at his home daycare who has been totally potty trained pretty much since the end of the summer. There are 3 other boys his age (all have birthdays within weeks of each other) who have just not been ready yet. Or their parents were not ready, or both. Either way, his caregiver told me the other day that Logan helped motivate all the other little boys to go pee on the potty! That's right, he was setting the positive example that it wasn't scary, it was easy, and way more fun that wearing a pull up all the time. I am so proud of him! The best part is that he is so humble about it, just like his dad in many ways. I hope that he is always like that. That he is able to accept the praise and be proud of himself without being overly so (at least not in front of others). I hope that he was cheering those boys on and praising them for being big boys!
I'm writing this post hours after my last one, feeling a little bit better and all cried out. A dear friend, Anne, told me this morning that sometimes it just feels good to cry and while I was crying for good reason, it did feel good. So I feel up to this week's Currently post.
Logan is currently:
Watching...Elmo in Grouchland and Charlotte's Web. He loves both so much that sometimes I think he could watch both simultaneously.
Craving..."cheesy, cheesy" quesidillas! And edamame.
Looking...all around. We will be driving in the car to daycare and he points out the sunrise, the other cars, and just about anything else he sees. I love his wonderment.
Loving...his baby brother or sister. He is convinced baby is a girl and so lately he has been snuggling up close, putting his hands and head on my belly. He even rubbed lotion on me the other night. When he puts his head there, he always says "she's talking to me, mama!" So much love.
Planning...on going to the fair. In Charlotte's Web there is a fair at the end and every time he sees it he talks about going to the fair. He can't wait.
I am currently:
Watching...Revenge. I stayed home today with a migraine and pains and caught up on the series. I had been behind a good 3-4 episodes.
Craving...sweets like nobody's business. I had to pick up a script today and also grabbed a tray of cupcakes, bag of jelly beans and bag of chocolate eggs.
Looking...for answers. This has been such a challenging day. My midwife had to reassure me that everything is okay. I am healthy. Baby is healthy. And sometimes pregnancy symptoms are harder on others. I just happen to be one of those people.
Loving...my husband. Seriously, thought his incredible love and support, I would be a even bigger mess. I would be so lost without his love and encouragement I am so blessed and cannot even put into words how much I love him.
Planning...on what to do with the nursery. It's a mess right now and a semi-storage room at the moment. So many possibilities!
How big is baby:Close to 3 pounds!
Weight gain/loss:27 pounds
Stretch marks:Just a few from last time on my upper legs/hips.
Sleep: Horrible. It takes me forever to fall asleep and then with this pelvic pain even just turning over in bed makes me cringe.
Diet/Cravings/Aversions:Sweets and lots of water.
Labor signs: contractions (2-3 an hour), 1cm dilated.
Movement:Tons. Love it.
What I'm loving: only 10ish more weeks!
Symptoms:Heartburn, contractions, achy back, hips and legs, pelvic pain.
What I'm looking forward to: Going to the St. Patty's Day parade this weekend with my family.
Best moment of the week: Logan rubbing my belly with lotion.
How I'm feeling: Terrible. See above and the previous post.
The last few days have been horrible. Lots of changes going on with work, which seem fine for now. I am just trying to roll with the punches there. Then there is school which, again, is going okay. Nutrition is a cake walk and Biology has been hard, but I redeemed myself this weekend with the lastest lab. Now I'm just studying for the lab exam and mid term.
Everything else is great....
And then the pain hit. It started over the weekend. I remember the sensations when I was pregnant with Logan and recall my OB simply saying it was round ligament pain. Just deal with it. So I did. It came and went, some days were worse than others. Around this time I learned that Logan had dropped quite a bit with his head engaged at a 0 station with some 30-40% effacement. No real concern for preterm labor, so I just dropped a day of work and before I knew it, I had a baby.
This time is 1000x worse. I cannot even think about how much pain I am in without crying. Not only was work more busy than usual (snow storms=laboring mamas), I was also walking around more. I am not an athletic person. Walking is my vice when it comes to staying fit, be it at work or at home. I am even more sedentary when pregnant but thanks to working in a hospital, I have been able to walk often. Something over the weekend, however, has made everything shift and change. The pain is excruciating, radiating below my belly into my legs. I have no worries about the baby. She/he has been moving around perfectly. No other concerns for infection or illness. I am at a complete loss.
So I took today off, with a migraine in tow, and slept all morning. Woke up and stayed in bed. Simple tasks such as, you know, getting out of bed, going to the bathroom and walking around the house/down the stairs....so effing painful. I called my midwife, crying, that the pain is just unbearable B cannot stand to see me like this and I cannot stand to have him watch me while he cannot do anything to help. Ice, warm bath/shower, support belt, chiro last week...nothing is helping. If anything, it's just getting worse. And I had to bitch. So this is my bitching. I know pregnancy is such a blessing. I love that my body is sustaining a perfect little life within. Every ache and pain is truly worth it...but I cannot just keep faking how I feel either. I smiled through the pain yesterday until the moment I slipped my badge through the time clock and stepped onto the elevator and completely lost it. I called B, desperate for some kind of comfort. I'm still desperate so, if you can, send up some prayers, thoughts, whatever you are most inclined to do for me. I have never been so miserably in pain before (outside of full on back labor).
I saw a funny ecard that said something about how/why the day light saving changes are not on Friday nights instead of Saturday night? Then we have a day of rest to literally, rest! Seriously, who decided that was a good idea? Clearly a man and a man without kids. Just sayin'.
So Bon Iver it is for this very sleepy mama.
This weekend was amazing. I have seriously not had a better weekend in a long time. We kicked it off with a lovely date night to Denver! It was rather spontaneous and planned only two days earlier. We needed a date night so badly! After being sick, Logan's birthday, and decompressing from the holidays, B and I have barely had any time to ourselves. So we headed to my aunt's painting studio. Most of you know that my husband is a little more than talented when it comes to art (FB page: McFadden Art):
So I knew we would have a blast painting and sipping on drinks (wine for him, sparkling water for me). And here are our masterpieces:
I followed the directions...
And B did not, but check out that creativity! And it's still trees...
We then had an awesome, late dinner at one of my favorite Italian restaurants. Perfect night! Logan stayed with my parents so B and I got to sleep in a bit--anything past 8am is good in my book! Woke up to lots of snow that was not sticking since it had been so warm the last few days. Drove over to have some breakfast and spend a few hours with my parents.
And then, then Sarah-with-mama-powers came out. Logan didn't nap so we just hung out, he played outside and I attempted to take a nap, but sleep has been terrible lately. So I woke up and started laundry. Then I finished 4 loads by the end of the night. The best part? I actually folded everything and put it away! B helped out with a load and oh does that ever feel good! Then I started a bio lab at 7pm, finished at 945, baked some banana bread and enjoyed it nice and fresh by 1030pm. I could not believe the energy I had that night! I just kept going...
(loving on his baby brother/sister)
The Sunday, Logan and I hung out in the morning, went to a children's consignment store where I found 2 pairs of jeans for him and some cute, neutral newborn outfits, all for less than $30! We came home, watched a movie and finally went grocery shopping. After unloading everything, I was beat! My body was, and still is, screaming at me. I just have not felt that busy and accomplished at home in a long time. I think I have our date night to thank for that. Something about just being extra close to B made me feel more maternal and homey.
The time change is not usually too bad on me, but today is dragging...I feel exhausted and achy. We had to wake Logan and while he was super tired, at least he didn't fight it too bad. I happily packed his clothes for the day and took him to daycare in his sweats so he could warm up to the idea of being up an hour earlier. I bet he will have an awesome nap today!
And just because I didn't post this last week, here I am at 29 weeks:
Good morning friends! This is the time of my day/morning when I sip on some tea or coffee. Since I have been crazy-sick for the last week I have opted for some lemony tea. And this is our tea time! So sit down and let's have a chat. Here's what I'd tell you...
The last week has been the hardest week of my pregnancy thus far since I have had a nasty head cold. I would not wish a cold on anyone while pregnant. It is a million times harder to kick and alas, you cannot take anything other than some Tylenol to take the edge off of those sinus head aches.
I went to the chiro last night and the adjustment was amazing. Be gone, head colds and migraines!
I mean, I would not wish a head cold on anyone. Duh I'm not that rude.
My bio professor is a saint. She is extending the deadline for a lab I could not even lift a finger for over the weekend. Huge blessing!
When Logan wants something, usually something to eat, he says, "I want a soma-soma that mama." The double talk is killing me. So cute.
It's March now and my tolerance for cold, snowy weather is low. Let's get this cold crap over with. I'm ready for spring. Going from 61* today to a foot of snow expected on Saturday is, well, Colorado for ya, but I'm done.
Why, friends, is lemon-zinger tea RED when lemons are clearly YELLOW?!
Some interesting job changes may be coming my way. Some within my power, some without. I'm at the point now, thanks to pregnancy, that I am just ready for whatever changes happen. I'm usually good with most change and adapting. I might even say I kind of like it.
Change, like adding another baby to the mix, is the kind of awesome change I am ready for.
Blogger friends, why is my reader EMPTY?! What happened to all your blogs I follow?! I swear I have like, 400 on there...
The ultrasound of our little s/he on Monday was chaotic with Logan present, but the babes looks awesome. Only 9 days behind in measurement and a perfect 2.6 pounds. POUNDS!! This baby actually packs some weight now! (digs through purse to show you this perfect profile)
Logan has been very clingy with me lately. He is so in love with the baby and keeps asking me how I feel. I think he's ready...
I honestly love when people tell me that I am "all baby" because this mama does not feel all baby. Thank you.
I am 29 weeks this week and with Logan, this was a pretty scary week for us. You can read about it HERE. I have to link back to wordpress because the conversion of my posts failed. Poo.
I cannot wait for TMobil to get the iPhone! My phone is an utter failure. I hate it and cannot wait to update and keep loving on Mac products. Should be the end of this month...
Ho Hey...The Lumineers
Trust Me...The Fray
Almost Lover...A Fine Frenzy
Cosmic Love...Florence and the Machine
2. 5 Things in Your Bucket List
Hold a Koala Bear
Hike the China Wall (part of it)
Swim with dolphins
Have a daughter
Become a grandmother
3. 5 Celebs You'd Love to Hang out with for a Day
4. 5 Things in my Purse
5. 5 Books on my Reading List
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot
Midwives by Chris Bohjalian
The Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing by Melissa Bank
House Rules by Jodi Picoult
Lying-In: A History of Childbirth in America by Richard W. Wertz
6. Last 5 Photos from Your Phone
I have not taken very many photos lately with my phone because a) my phone sucks and b) I've been sick so here are a few recent ones:
My at-home lab kit for biology.
Our downtown all lit up.
Logan after his hair cut!
Some awesome chicken in homemade sauce.
Hanging out in a comfy chair for my NST a week ago.