Project 31: Day 7 Ode to Elle

>Write a blog post to encourage another beautiful woman.

Elle, this one's for you dear.

Guest what? You're beautiful. I know you probably don't hear it as much as you should so I'm here to blare it loud and clear. You're beautiful! You are such an amazing woman and only through our writing have we grown close. Your beauty shines through in your writing and photos. AND your amazing knack for cooking. Heck, I wish I could smell your kitchen through the computer. Everything you create looks so yummy and beautiful! You are an amazing mother and wife (again, something that's gone unnoticed-but not to me). You want only the best for your family and being efriends I know deep down in my heart that you're a beautiful friend. When I need you, you're there. And when you need me, I there. Your beauty is written all over your face, inside and out. I am proud to call you a friend, though we have never met face to face and I know that day will come soon!

Love you,

S.

PSA: Paragard IUD

>This is another one of those fair warnings that this may contain a TMI or two, though not intentional. I am sharing this more for those of you newer mamas who might be considering an IUD and when you only have two really good ones to chose from, it's always good to get the beef on each. The below info is all from personal experience and if you are truly curious about getting an IUD you must talk to your doctor. I'll start from the beginning...

Funny as it may seem, one of the first things you start thinking about after having a baby is how to prevent not having another one anytime soon. I am pretty sure my doctor started asking me about my preferences at my 2 week check up and at that point the thought of any kind of intimacy almost made me want to barf. I had a very rough recovery and it was nearly 3 months before I even felt like hopping back in the sack. This is not true for everyone, but if you sustain any kind of abrasions or tearing down below don't feel bad if it takes that long-or longer.

I had been on the pill in college and I didn't really like it. But now that I have spent 10 months with the most horrific periods ever, the pill is heaven on the horizon. I chose Paragard because it has no hormones in it and I liked how my periods had been prior to getting pregnant and figured they would be the same. I was sorely mistaken! Without going into too many nasty details, I will just say that it was a nightmare for not one, but two weeks. This interfered with my work life, home life, sex life....everything! I was miserable for the greater part of every month and only recently did I realize how much this was affecting me emotionally. I have felt lazy. Like I don't want to do anything. I don't have any motivation to do anything: cook, clean, work out, read. I know this is only one of the small contributors to how I have felt the last few months and work had a lot to do with it. But with a new schedule and more time with Logan, I have been on cloud 9. I am so happy but with my dreaded guest only having left a week ago and due to show up next week, I am freaking out with anxiety and dreading it more than anything.

I have spent the past few months talking to B about this. He hates how much it's interfering with my life and his as well that we finally decided it was time to get this thing out. It has been a great form of birth control. Aside from that, it has been horrible and I wish there had been someone out there in bloggie land had provided some personal experience with this, which is why I am doing it now. I was hoping to just switch to Mirena but my insurance won't cover it so it is back to the pill and I am good with that.

I know there are women out there who may not have had such horrible experiences with this type of IUD and that is great. It's just not for me.

Project 31: Day 6 Jaded Beauty

>Has the world's definition ever jaded me?

This is such a broad question, if you think about it. If I were to answer it literally, as in the whole entire world, end to end, then no. The "world's" definition does not really exist. Every country, religion, culture, clan, high school clique, etc has a different definition of what beauty is. Now, if I were to answer this solely on the US of A, then hell yes. How can our country's definition of beauty not jade anyone, even the most humble person? It's hard not to pay any attention to what is considered beautiful with the media literally being shoved down our throats. Heck, even the Dugger girls learned how to apply mascara, eye liner and lip gloss to look even more gorg than they already are. If Daddy Dugger is worried, then he should be.

One of the definitions that falls under beauty, so it seems, is to be a tall, thin woman who has a nice size 2 ass and a nice rack on top (excuse me while I duck from all the feminists throwing tomatoes at me for just saying that--yeah, I just said "rack"). Anywhooo, I pretty much fall into that category, minus the larger than normal rack. I'm 5'9", thin and no ma'am I do not have a size 2 ass (although I did for most of my high school and college career). So I'm tall and thin, but did you know that I have a giant nose and that most kids made fun of me, thinking I was anorexic? Or how about the fact that my legs are slightly bowed, my teeth are not pearly white or straight, I wear glasses, and I'm dyslexic? All of these physical atributes brought unwanted attention to me and I just sucked it up. And yes, dyslexia is an outward physical trait. Just tonight I said "tomich" when I meant to say "stomach" or "tummy". Or "stick-chap" instead of "chap-stick". We all have flaws and as a now 26 year old married mama I can confidently say that I could give a rats ass as to what just about anyone thinks. I care deeply what my husband and my parents think and that is about it. So embrace your outward "flaws". Who cares anyway??

Death of the Perky Boobs

>A fair warning, dear friends, this post is going to be up close and personal and most certainly going to contain a TMI or two...or three. Mmmkay?

Pregnancy, no doubt, has a way of changing your body. You're growing a teeny tiny human in there for crying out loud. Of course you're going to have aches and pains and stretch marks where you never thought possible. I for one never imagined how many would end up on my thighs and not my belly. And if I had to chose, I would want it that way. I had a few on my breasts but again, it did not really bother me.

I went shopping yesterday for nice underthings, something which I have not done in nearly 2 years (I mean, for a pre-preg body) and let me tell you...what a rude awakening. You don't really realize how much your body has changed until you are standing in a changing room in Victoria Secret trying on nice brightly colored bras trying to stuff your saggy boob into the cup. Not because the bra is too big or too small (trust me, I tried two different sizes) but because there is no elasticity left in my girls, thanks to all those nursing hormones.

Heidi always had bigger tatas than I did and I was a bit jealous. Whelp after she had her first baby she was jealous of my perky lil breasts and I was flattered, yes, but did not really understand how perky they were until the perk was gone and all that was left was a whole bunch of eey. And when I say "a whole bunch" I really mean "very little".

I've always been a fairly small-busted woman and since B seemed to embrace their size no problem I quickly accepted that I would always never be more than a B cup. Cue pregnancy hormones and I got a lot more than I ever expected! I even remember telling B that I would never want a boob job and that I felt sorry for women who were big busted. Never before did I have to deal with wearing a sleep bra to bed to prevent sagging and discomfort or deal with them touching each other and don't even get me started on the boob sweat. EEEWWW!!

It was hard for me to imagine ever going back to my original size. Well, here I am, a 34B and while I am still the same size, I don't look or feel the same. There is no tone in them and I feel like I need a belt to hang around them and over my neck to keep them from sagging even more. It's a harsh reality and I am pretty bummed about it. All I keep thinking is that when I get pregnant again they will just get big again and I would almost rather deal with that then my tiny tatas. Don't fret my friends, I will never go under the knife for such a thing, but it does make me sympathize with anyone who has for this very reason. If I ever had my senses knocked out of me and considered doing it, it would be well after I was done having children. So who knows. One thing that motherhood has taught me is to never EVER say never.

A Series of Fortunate Events

>This week has been one of the best weeks in a verrrrryyyyy long time.

• I am loving my new work schedule. I spend my entire morning with Logan. We usually have breakfast together, play for awhile, read books, listen to music, take a shower, watch Dinosaur Train and take a nap. Sometimes I nap or sometimes, like today, I catch up on Greek and write. Having Mondays and Fridays off has been awesome. I work two days, get a day off, work three days, another day off. I LOVE IT!!! Not to mention, we don't have to pay for child care!!
• Buying a house. This whole process has been such a whirlwind! I cannot believe how fast we have found a house and gone under contract. I never imagined it would be so quick for us and so far, everything has been great. We met with our lender yesterday and that went really well. We need to set up our inspection for next week and then we are done, as long as the inspection goes well.
• Money. This is always an up and down issue. A few good months here, a few bad months there. We were just blessed with some extra money and it could not have come at a better time! So Logan and I are going to go and do some birthday shopping today!!

What else is there to say? I am so happy!!

Negotiating and Other House Related Info

>Hehe....I left you hanging there and I don't feel bad about it one bit! So here is the update I have and I'll start right where I left off.

Monday afternoon I left for work and had not been there an hour before B called me. He had heard from our realtor. The house is under foreclosure so we were negotiating with a bank. I had heard several suggestions on how long it takes to hear back and it really could have gone either way. We asked to hear back by Wednesday night at the very latest so I was not expecting to hear from our realtor so quickly. I was training an employee at work and had to call B back on a different phone. The first word was that the bank countered and it was $4000 over what we were qualified for. Our realtor instantly argued that we were not qualified for that much and so they called us back, accepting our original offer, but moved the closing date up an entire month. Normally, this would not have been an issue, but we we could not carry rent and a mortgage in May. Whelp, we did some quick math and knew we would be getting a nice tax return this year and even still if our apartment is rented before our lease is up but we are out then we get our money back. Either way, win win. So we said yes but the bank had closed and had to wait until Tuesday morning to hear the good word.

Tuesday morning my stomach was in knots! We had not heard from the realtor yet, I finally called him and he said he still had not heard anything either. So we waited all afternoon and I was at work, so close to throwing up from all the anxiety! B called me around 4pm and the bank had accepted!! So I was giddy all night but we still had to wait for one last word from Fannie Mae and that came this morning. We are officially UNDER CONTRACT!!

This does not mean everything is all said and done. We actually have several things to do between now and March 4th, and most of it happens in the next 10 days. I will continue to share our experience here...we just pray that all goes well with the inspection, etc.

Project 31: Day 5

>Day Five: Write a Blog About Someone Who has Made my Heart Come Alive


The cliche thing to do would be to write about Logan or my husband. Logan has made my heart explode since the day we met and I am pretty open about how he's stolen my heart. That being said, I thought I would honor a woman who is quite nearly my sister.


My cousin, Heidi, has become one of my most favorite people over the last few years and we have not even seen each other since my wedding day. In fact, she has always been one of my most favorite people, but she has made my heart come alive more in the last two years than ever before. 


UPDATE: I read a few other 31 posts and decided to put this into letter form, rather than a general "this is why this person is awesome" dealio.


Dearest Heidi,

Gosh I don't even know where to start. First of all, you are by far one of the most incredible women I know. You are strong, beautiful, honest, compassionate, and dedicated. You have always been a loyal person in my life and I love you for that. Being that I never had a sister, you are the closest thing to that because I am sure that if we were hundreds of miles closer we would surely be sharing clothes and silly stories about our children. Our children would then be doing the same with each other.

I want to tell you everything and there are very few people on this green earth I can say that to. I want you to know all my deep dark secrets, ideally shared over a glass of white wine (red gives me a head ache!) and on a night in which our husbands are watching the babes.

You make my heart come alive when we have hour long texting sessions about everything we can think of. My heart explodes because I know that you will always be there to listen and give sage advice, no matter what the issue or concern is. You are such a perfect example of what it means to be a godly wife and woman. I am following in your footsteps as you lead an example which I am sure others would love if only they knew. I know that I can always call you with questions about being a new mama and the fact that YOU, next to my dear husband, were the very first person I told about little Logan is saying a lot. We do what we can with the miles between us and I know someday soon we will come together again and share that wine and celebrate being cousins, best friends, mothers and wives together. Cheers to you, for always being a constant in my life and showing me how to truly embrace this exciting time in my life. I love you.

~S.

Project 31: Playing Catch Up

>I have dedicated today to a cleaning-stay-at-home-and-write-a-bit-while-playing-with-Logan kinda day. He is down for a nap (almost--he has been fighting them lately) and I am enjoying my daily dose of Greek. Netflix has been awesome like that. I am watching the entire series and loving it.

Day Two: What Makes Me Unique

1. I am a hopelessly obsessed Hanson fan and have been since I was 13 years old. It's just one of those things that will never change. 

    2. I hate disappointing people, to the point that I will feel physically ill if I did so.

    3. Carpets are not clean to me unless you can see the lines from the vacuum.

    4. I rarely ever run yellow lights. Not because it's not safe, but because I'm afraid of being pulled over.

    5. I love when Butte licks my feet.

    6. I wish that most of my readers were my real life friends.

    7. I hate heights, but flying does not bother me.

    8. I have a rather large nose and have always hated it, until recently. I've embraced that uniqueness.

    9. I hate when the covers on the bed are all messed up.

    10. I waited to move in with DH until AFTER were were married and I am SO glad I did.

silly me!

Day three: Who is Someone I Know Who Inspires Beauty:

The first person who comes to mind is my mother, as cliche as that sounds. She is truly beautiful, inside and out. I would not be the woman, wife and mother I am today without her. Her beauty radiates God's love. She is a servant to Him and His people and has taught me so much about sharing God's love and beauty. My mom is a teacher, something I never aspired to be until the last few years. She is incredible at her job and because she teaches three year olds her advice has been priceless. I learned recently how not shaving freaks her out. I NEVER knew this about her! I myself hate shaving and literally go months without doing it. My mom shaves at least twice a week, even in the winter! She takes pride in her body (not that I don't) by doing things that make her feel beautiful like taking care of her body, eating right and reading great books. She is the first person I call when I need advice with a new recipe, when I have a fight with B or when Logan will just not stop crying. She is one of my best friends and her beauty inspires me to be more like her.

Day four: Post A Pic of Me in My Fav Outfit:

I'm gonna cheat and not post a pic. I honestly don't have a favorite outfit. In fact, clothes stress me out. I have a hard time feeling 100% comfortable in anything I own. This is not to say I don't like the clothes I own, I just have a hard time putting cute things together. I am a very simple, jeans and tee-shirts kind of girl. When I dress up I love long skirts, earrings, and flats. See? Simple.

Day five to follow.

Making An Offer

>I have some serious catching up to do in the way of the Project 31 challenge and life in general. For now, though, I thought I'd share our experience with making an offer on a house. That's right folks: we found a house we nearly love and made an offer on it yesterday!

Before making an offer, you MUST have your finances in order and when I say this I don't just mean you know what you make and your DH makes and what you spend. That is wayyyyy to general. You must literally disect every single little expense and factor in emergencies (like if you have pets) and anything upcoming (medical procedures, etc). B spent and entire DAY doing this. After it was done, we knew exactly what we could afford in the way of a mortgage. The next step was letting our lender know what that was.

We found this house on the first day we went out house hunting nearly 2 weeks ago. B was instantly in love and I was almost there. I was not in love with the location-yet. And this is SO SO SOOOOO important. No matter how nice and perfect the house is, you MUST like the location. You have to understand that when you're buying a house, you're also buying the location. If you have messy neighbors, a busy street, and a really long drive to work is it really worth it? Our house is on the corner and the street in front is not busy, but it certainly has moderate traffic. We stood around on the property for a good 20 minutes, watching the neighbors and cars go by. It is a very quite neighborhood and the traffic was not noisy or a safety concern.

After we had seen close to 15 properties we kept coming back to this house. We'd compare it to the others and in no way was this house comparable. It is that great. So on our last day out last week, we felt like we had seen it all, the best of the best in our price range and it was time to make a decision. Over the weekend we checked on the overall growth of the town, schools, churches, medical centers, and yes, nearby sex offenders. This down is on the rise in nearly every category (minus the sex offenders--there are eight in the entire town). We were ready to make a jump and try not to lose the house. We sat around thinking about it for so long we truly hoped it was still available. Lucky for us, it is a foreclosure and a previous offer on it last week did not go anywhere. It was go time!

We contacted our lender and had him send us a prequal letter and set up a time to meet with our realtor. We wanted to have our offer in first thing in the morning. Monday morning, we were up early. Nerves and happy anxiety coursed through our veins. We had breakfast at IHOP and headed to the office. Our realtor was still having trouble getting a hold of the listing agent on the house over the weekend so we tried again and he got through! He determined that the house was still available and it was time to make an offer. We called our lender and determined, based on what our offer would be, what our monthly payment would be just for good measure and got the ball rolling.

We spent the next hour and a half reading tons of paper work and initialing it at the bottom. Now, how do you make a good offer? The house was listed at nearly $5000 over what we were qualified for so we knew we would be going in at the top end of our qualification. We then put down $2000 in earnest money. Earnest money is just a way of saying, "Hey, we are super serious about this" and asked for $2500 in closing costs. Most realtors tell you that at least $1000 is necessary for earnest money but we wanted the bank to see our aggression. We also asking for part of the closing costs because banks rarely ever replace something if there is a flaw in the inspection. The buyer is always responsible for those things and well, it's the least they could do. ;) We asked to hear from the bank by Wednesday with an acceptance or counter offer and we were off. Logan had fallen asleep in his stroller and we were beaming ear to ear. Had we really just done that?!?!

Not four hours later the phone rang....

(TO BE CONTINUED...)

Book Review: Your Best Birth

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(source)

Wow! I am finished with the first book on my giant reading list for Brio Birth Class. This particular book was not actually a required reading but I have to read one extra that's not required and here it is. In fact, most of the books on my bedside right now are not required. But I figure different perspectives never hurt anyone. In fact, I can now pick those ones up easily and quickly skim them. That is how informative Your Best Birth is. Ricki Lake & Abby Epstein did a fabulous job describing all the ins and outs of child birth in today's America. The tag line on the front of the book reads, "Know all your options, discover the natural choices, and take back the birth experience." This sums up the book perfectly.

I remember when I was pregnant and I saw this book sitting on the shelf in Barnes & Noble, thinking to myself that it looked like a good read but I did not feel like I had the patience to read a book on child birth that was nearly 200 pages long. No thank you. Now that I have read the book cover to cover and literally had a hard time putting it down, I would recommend this book to EVERYONE, even if you have had 10 babies. GO READ THIS NOW!! Ricki and Abby take turns writing about different aspects of child birth starting out with what birth plans used to be like, choosing your provider and birth place, while ending with medical interventions and c-sections. Yes, people, you CAN have your best birth even if you end up with a NECESSARY c-section.

I was instantly drawn into the book. Maybe it was because I had watched "The Business of Being Born" while I was pregnant and knew what to expect. Or maybe it was because these two women outlined child birth with so much honesty and depth I was wishing I had read it before having Logan. Not to say that I could have changed the outcome, but I may have allowed myself to be more confident in the things we did and did not want apart of our birthing experience. In the moment, I got wrapped up in such a fuzzy daze due to the pain, epidural and lack of sleep. Ricki and Abby talk about this. Your inhibitions go out the window. Whether you strip down naked for all the world to see or you suddenly do every single thing the doctor is telling you needs to happen, because hey, they are the doc-tor! It hard to say no to a medical professional. That is why it is SO SO important for women to educate themselves on child birth. Whether you take a class, read books, or actually witness a birth. Any of these options will help educate you on all aspects of child birth. The funny thing is that I felt like I had educated myself quite a bit: I read books, took a Bradley class, and obsessively talked about my pregnancy and birth wishes with other veteran friends. If I had read this book, I would have been that much more informed.

Ricki and Abby include "Birth Goddess" stories. If you're anything like me, then you really enjoy reading and hearing about others' birth stories. These are not all flowery and happy. However, the featured birth goddess certainly makes an effort to have a better birth the second go around. Just because you have had a c-section or a high risk pregnancy, does not mean that you can't have exactly what you want with your next pregnancies. This is so encouraging, especially for someone who has had difficulties in pregnancies or previous births.

There is a list at the end of the book "World Health Organization Recommendations for the Best Birth". This list is essential for any expecting mother. It provides a crutch so that if you are planning on a hospital birth, regardless of what they want you to have, you know what the WHO wants you to have and that is THE BEST BIRTH with as few medical interventions as possible.

Your Best Birth outlines what everyone should know about child birth. Interventions, medications, providers, and birth places. All of these things shape your birth. I feel very confident in saying that the next time we decide to have a baby I will certainly aim for not only a unmedicated, natural birth, but also one which takes place at home. I am not longer scared of being away from all those beeping machines. In fact, I am more afraid of those machines!! If you have read this review, thank you. I hope that it is helpful. Now, go read this book. Please. ;)

i heart faces-innocent wonder

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The theme this week is "Innocent Wonder". There is not a lot I can say about this photo other than it captures innocent wonder perfectly. I imagine Logan was checking out my camera, which I did quite often. He was 5 weeks old when I took this photo and I am in LOVE! This is the screen saver for our playstation 3. LOVE IT! Check out more awesome wonders here:

31. what does beauty mean to me?

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Mmmkay Mandy. You really picked a deep one for our first question!

What does beauty mean to me? When I think of something that is beautiful, like a sunrise or my son's happy chatter in the morning, it makes my heart swell. I smile instantly because I literally cannot help it. I get a slight tightness in my chest because of the quick adrenalin rush that happens. One of the most beautiful traits anyone can embody is generosity. When I hear or see of someone being generous to others, my emotions are flooded with so much happiness that I want to cry. Like the people on Extreme Home Makeover. Or visiting someone in the hospital when you hate hospitals. Or giving x amount of money to someone so they can get through the next week. Beautiful does not even come close to describing generosity. God's word teaches us to love our neighbors. Loving our neighbors means one must be generous in some capacity.

Sometimes I have a hard time being generous. It is human nature to be selfish and I believe everyone has to work on that at some point in life. It's hard to give up time, money, and material things when you'd much rather be doing something else. Our little family is not in a financial position to be generous to others in need (heck, we have taken advantage of the government at times). However, just because we may not have the money to be generous to others, we certainly have other options. I recently went through all of my old clothes and books. I donated all the clothes to Good Will and took the books to a local book store that is not struggling, but certainly needs the support. I run the book club at work and I only order our books through that location. Our residents would be devastated (me too!) if the store ever shut down because it's community stopped supporting it. I'm not going to let that happen! :)

Beauty is in and around so many other things. This post could easily be pages and pages long. In short, beauty is wherever one feels it the most. I feel it the most when I'm being generous or when someone else is doing the same. How are you generous?

Project 31

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I LOVE LOVE LOVE when there is a great blog challenge out there and I don't just do any challenge...

Mandy over at She Breathes Deeply has come up with a wonderful way for us women to celebrate each other and ourselves. What makes us feel beautiful? What IS true beauty? And I'm not just talking about all those lipoed out celebs who look a-mahazing 3 days after giving birth (are they for reeeaaal???!?). I'm talking about GODS beauty. 

Mandy is an amazing blogger and a soon-to-be mommy to a little girly girl. She pulled her inspiration from Proverbs 31 and I think everyone should go read it. Mandy posted the entire chapter on her blog and I'm gonna make you work for it! Go grab your Bible or head to Mandy's blog to read it. I feel inspired already! There, she has a list of what this little blog challenge is all about. You know how much I love writing and this will encourage me to write even more! And not just to write, but to write about something important. 

I will have by first post up tomorrow sometime. ENJOY!

that big 'ol news you've been waiting for

>So, I'm sorry lovies that I have been stringing you along for a few weeks. I'm sure that my news has been the only think you could think of alllll week long! Lol. It's something that I need to start writing about, a process if you will.

Our little family is getting ready to make a BIG MOVE! That's right:

WE'RE GOING TO BUY A HOUSE!

We learned we would be embarking on this fun adventure the beginning of December. Our lease on our apartment is not up until June so we have taken our time talking to a lender and choosing a realtor. The entire process, so far, has been quite stressful, no matter how excited we are to actually move into a home we can call our own with a fenced yard for the dogs, man cave for B, and play room for Logan. What does mommy get? A space (room or not) to paint.

I know there are many of you out there who have shed your property virgin card at some time long ago and the idea of us going down that monumental marital road is so invigorating! I will do my best to share details (though not too much) about the process. Already in the short WEEK that we have been out house hunting we have fall in love and had our hearts broken over a house. This is way worse than any middle school romance. Trust me. I think it is fair to say that falling in love with a house literally at first sight is like falling in love with that cute boy in youth group. The shopping process is so stressful and exciting all at once. One minute you're on cloud nine because the house is soooo adorable on the outside and then you walk in and your heart sinks because the carpet is trashed (replaceable), the wallpaper is dated (removable), and there is no closet space (ummmm). 

The biggest lesson I have learned so far is that you can change just about anything. You can knock a wall out if you want a more open floor plan. Painting, new wood floors, new counters...the possibilities are endless! I've also learned that you MUST have a MUST HAVE list, WISH LIST, and DEAL BREAKER list. If you don't, then you might compromise on something you really didn't want and it's not easily changeable (adding a new bathroom to a house with no where to put one).

Over the next several weeks I will keep you posted on what's going on with the house hunt. 

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In other news I found out I might have a stomach ulcer. While I am glad that there has been some progress made in diagnosing the issue, I am fa-reeeking out. I have to have my stomach scoped next week sometime. I'm totally dreading it!!

Wordless Wednesday

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Reading Material

>I shared a few weeks ago that I am training to become a Brio Birth instructor. The actual date for my workshop has not been set yet but will be in April sometime. I CANNOT WAIT!! I am eating, breathing, sleeping child birth as if I was pregnant again. One thing I am doing in the mean time is reading. Now that I am a mother and have given birth before, I wish I would have read more. I did, in fact read quite a bit, but I don't think I was reading the right material. That may sound bad, but considering I was aiming for a med free vaginal birth I should have been reading more material focused on just that. I only recall reading things like What to Expect When You're Expecting, The Bradley Method Handbook and a book on my baby's growth. Nothing specific on being confident in the kind of birth I actually was going for. Sure we had a "birth plan"and I wanted certain things, but I was not confident in those things and aside from Logan popping a hole in his lung, I really didn't get the birth I truly wanted. HOWEVER, let me say that I LOVED how it turned out. But if you asked me if I could change anything about my birth, I'd pass you a list.

Because of this, among other things, I have discovered a new passion and I want to encourage women to know their choices and have the best birth they can. The following is a list of the books I am/will be reading:

• Your Best Birth by Ricki Lake & Abby Epstein (I'm halfway through this and LOVING it!)
• Ask a Midwife by Catherine Parker (Also half way through this)
• Husband Coached Childbirth by Dr. Bradley
• Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon
• Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering by Sara Buckley
• Mind Over Labor by Carl Jones
• Having a Baby, Naturally by O'Mara
• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
• Born in the USA by Marsden Wagner
• Misconceptions by Naomi Wolf

Wow! I know that is a TON of reading. But if you think about it, it's not really any more or less than what you would expect while taking a true college course on the subject. Also, a few of the books are very similar and I will be skimming most of it. Starting off with Your Best Birth has been great. It's one of the more recently published which makes the skimming easy.

My goal as a childbirth educator is to NOT make any mom feel like she is making a bad choice, no matter what that choice is. I want moms to feel fully educated so that when they make a certain choice, they are fully away of the pros and cons. My Bradley instructor, while amazing and not intentionally, made me feel bad about ending up with an epidural. I remember sitting on the birth ball while B was holding my shoulders through a contraction. I had oxygen on and was nearly passing out from the pain. I had not dilated from a 4 in over 2 hours. My nurse was amazing, not asking if I wanted some relief. I cried as I told B that it was time for some relief and we were both so scared that it would lead to a c-section, because that is the fear that was instilled in us in class, that my guilt flooded me as I waited for the anesthesiologist. I know now that getting the epidural helped me relax, something which does not happen with all moms, and made things move along a lot faster. Regardless, I don't want one of my moms to feel guilty if she choses to get an epi.

i heart faces-winter wonderland

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I'm kinda lucky I was able to snap a few shots of Logan out in the snow the other night. We have had hardly any snow this season and last weekend we had nearly 6 inches! So I bundled Logan up in his 2T winter gear which he could barely sit up in. Of all the shots, this is the best. I love the clarity in his eyes and expression and how the background is so blurry. It's not the best, but the whole reason for doing this is to get better, right? 

Check out the other great photos:

Share the Love

>My bloggie bud Caz over at Spacebook has posted something pretty fun. She found the idea over on Angel's Mind.I'm sure most of you have heard about it so I am going to keep the thought going on. I consider myself a pretty crafty person. I crochet, paint (water-colors), play guitar, collage, and scrapbook. And now I want to make something crafty for FIVE of my lovely readers. Be the first FIVE commenters and you've got yourself something coming to you sometime this year. I like that rule. I get a whole year to make and send you something. However, I'll do my best not to procrastinate and get-er done asap. The next part of the rule is that if you chose to participate in having something made for you, then you should go on and do the same. I'm not going to hold anyone accountable for this. It is all out of the goodness of my heart that I want to do this. No one is forcing anyone to keep "paying it forward" but I might rub in some guilt there somewhere, wink wink. So if you'd like one of my crafty creations leave me a comment and a way for me to contact you via email. If we don't know each other well yet, send me an email (in profile) with a short description of things you like. Favorite colors, foods, things that make you happy and smile, etc. Mmm kay? Have fun! I look forward to working on this!

Judgy McJudgerson

>Gawh I don't even know how to start this post out without shouting at the top of my lungs. So here goes...

Moms get judged all the time. Someone is watching our ever effing move. I  noticed this when I was pregnant. You know...not drinking alcohol, eating right, not smoking (if you're a smoker), not lifting heavy things, walking unassisted outside when it's icy...the list goes on. At first you realize that everyone has your best interest at heart. I get that. So...thank you over-protective stranger I don't know for taking my cart to the cart port at the grocery store-how kind of you. Now that my little person is in my arms and attached to my hip just about every where I go, the judgyness is way worse. For example, a friend of mine on FB, who is a male and NOT a parent, made a comment about seeing a mother walking across the street with her child in sub-zero temps and eluded that she should never procreate...ie: you're a terrible mother how dare you take your child outside when it's not even 10*!!! I see the logic here, but now that I am a mom if I have to go somewhere and Logan is with me then he best be bundled up and outside. Oh well. What are we gonna do about it?

Today I changed Logan in a public place and I did not have any hand sanitizer with me nor was I near a bathroom so I just wiped my hands with a wipe and threw it away. Well, some older lady did not see me do that and made a comment to me that she noticed I had not washed my hands and how could you even touch your child without having done so first?! I rolled my eyes and did not even waste my time trying to explain to her the situation. Whatevs. However, I am fed up with it. I know this is probably going to happen for the rest of my life as a mother. People are going to judge how I dress him, change him, what I feed him, how I feed him, how I parent him, etc....I'm building up my backbone for it.

Tell me, do you get judged out in public? Do you ever do the judging? Personally, I only find myself on the other side of the fence when safety and health come into play. For example, a pregnant woman smoking. Yes, your a dumbass if you smoke while you're pregnant. Or riding in the back seat with your child on your lap to go just one mile. Idiot! Those people deserve it. Me? Not so much and I will sure as hell admit it when I do.

Shoulda Woulda Coulda: Advice for New Moms

>I've been learning a few new lessons lately and I figure I otta share this great wisdom with all my mama friends. The following list is of all the shouldas and wouldas I have learned lately. I hope it helps someone!

1. Cloth diapering: I love cloth diapering. I really do. We don't have to pay our water bill where we live so CDing is not a big deal. We use disposable liners for the poopies and there is no spraying or swishing. Really, it is so easy. I wish another mom out there had told me to not go cheep on CDs. I tried to do the most cost effective route and it is now kicking us in the arse and we are officially giving up on CDing altogether because of it. Originally, we bought a Bummis diaper kit. It was great except that the prefolds seemed to irritate Logan's skin and they were the small infant size so when he grew out of them around 4-5 moths old we had to invest in new diapers. We went with gDiapers. I have never been in love with either brand, but we rolled with it. I bought the 13-28 pound medium size, 12 to be exact, and for whatever reason Logan is leaking out of them at least once a day. This is such a PITA. OMG. Seems that his little body is just not fitting into the diaper right so we're done. So, I wish I woulda spent the $350-$400 on the really good AIO one size cloth diaper. Like Bum Genius. Yeah, I will be doing that next time for sure. 
2. Car seat: Before I had Logan, a friend was ready to get rid of her car seat and stroller travel system and offered it to us. Of course we said yes and that was it. Now, I shoulda had a lot more sense to check out all the ins and outs of both the car seat and the stroller before taking on this mess. The car seat was over 3 years old. The padding on the seat was worn and hardly what I would consider comfortable. It worked out okay for awhile, but eventually the handle mechanism stopped working and Logans long legged genes had him grown out of it by 8 months. We coulda had the Graco MyRide 65 as a gift from my parents, but nooooooo we had to go with the freebies. I don't even want to waste space here for how bad the stroller was. Please, dear readers, know that I am very grateful for someone to offer these pricy items to us. But there is a different kind of price attached to those kinds of things sometimes so going cheep is not always the best route, especially on something safety related. Today, I bought the Graco MyRide 65 and can't wait for Logan to try it out!
3. Stroller: As I said above, we started out with a pretty terrible stroller. It was big and heavy and the car seat did not fit onto it properly. So I went the cheep-o route again and bought a dinky stroller at Target. The push bar was not tall enough for us, there was no storage, and it was flimsy and not so safe. We shoulda bought a better stroller, on that fit our lifestyle (ie: tiny apartment=compact items). Thankfully, we got a new stroller for Christmas from B's dad. It is awesome!
4. Bottles: Again, with the thrifting of things, I have learned that there is a time to say no to some things. A friend gave me a ton of Avent bottles without nipples. I bought the nipples and all was well but the bottles leaked. A lot. And now they are too fat for Logan to hold himself. I ended up buying all new bottles, Playtex VentAir and I love them!
5. Clothes: This is def well we have scored in the thrifting department. I have a friend with 3 older boys and she passes all of their stuff down to me. It's amazing and I am sooo thankful for her! Without it, we would be spending a ton of money on clothes. So thank you!!
6. Toys: You do not need a lot of toys. At all. Now, or ever. This is something I have been pretty frugal about and most of the toys Logan has have been gifted to us. I really try to avoid anything that requires batteries, although Logan does love his alphabet train! B. is a brand that makes some awesome wooden toys that are sold at Target. They are not cheep, buy neither is the toy.
7. Swing: My parents gave us a swing that Logan hardly ever uses. He'll sit it in for 10 min and is done. It takes up space in his room and I am in no way getting rid of it. However, I would suggest taking your baby to a store where you can find out if he even likes to swing. This was a huge life saver when Logan was new. It was the only place he slept and spent most of his time.

The moral, for us anyways, has been to not go the cheep-o route. That includes craigslist, etc. I bought a jogging stroller and the current car seat we have been using off craigslist and they both suck. Which means I'm not even going to try to resell them. It's pointless. Hope this helps any of you new mamas out there!

wordless wednesday

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2011 in Colorado

>No joke. I happen to live in the BEST state. Don't believe me? Why don't you try to come up with 101 things to do in your state THIS YEAR and we'll see who has cooler things. The only thing I would ever want to do in Texas is go to SXS shows with my bestie Heidi. I know, that was random. Here is my list. If I am unable to complete some of the things on this list for whatever reason, I WILL complete it eventually.

1. Road trip on Independence Pass
2. Hike a 14ner
3. Have a beer at San Luis Valley Brewing Co
4. Take a ride on the Rio Grand scenic railroad
5. Go to Sipping n Painting (Feb 23)
6. Take a tour of the Red Stone Castle in Carbondale
7. Fly fish in the CO River.
8. Gamble in Black Hawk
9. Look for wild life in Rocky Mountain National Park.
10. Tailgate at a Denver Broncos game.
11. Go to the Mile High Music Fest.
12. Go to the Taste of Colorado.
13. Go to Comedy Works.
14. Go alpine sledding in Heritage Square.
15. Watch the sunset from Peaks Lounge in the Hyatt @ Colorado Convention Center
16. Brew at the Zoo
17. Bohemian Nights/New West Fest
18. St. Patty's Day Parade in Downtown Denver
19. Go camping in a State Park
20. See the aspens change on Trail Ridge Road
21. Take a tour of Celestial Seasonings in Boulder
22. Visit Garden of the Gods
23. Be in 4 places at once @ the 4 corners
24. Take Logan to Tiny Town
25. Go swimming in the Glennwood Hot Springs
26. Hike Hanging Lake
27. Visit the Great Sand Dunes
28. Visit Buffalo Bills Grave
29. Make Out on Lookout Mountain
30. Add a dollar to the Bonanza in Central City
31. Get a picture with the giant blue bear at the Colorado Convention Center
32. Rent a B-cycle red bike in Denver
33. Go to a Nuggets game
34. Buy a record at Albums on the Hill
35. Go to the Colorado Boat Dragon Fest
36. Tour the Denver Mint
37. Paddle boat at City Park in FC
38. See a concert at Red Rocks
39. Visit the Poo Yeti and stay in a Yurt
40. Zipline
41. Ride the Twister II at Elitches
42. Go wine tasting in Palisade
43. Take a tour of New Belgium Brewery
44. Take Logan to Boo at the Zoo
45. Take Logan to the Aquarium
46. Take the dogs to the doggie dips day at City Park
47. See a film at The Lyric in FC
48. Get a hug from Panda in FC
49. Take Logan on the train at City Park
50. Visit Mesa Verde
51. Eat sopapias at Fransiscas in Cortez
52. Watch the ice climbers in Ouray
53. Go to the hot springs in Ouray
54. Take the gondola in Telluride
55. Have 2 margs from the Rio in FC
56. Visit the Old Fire House #1 Children's Museum in Trinidad
57. Buy a beer from Captian Earthman at a Rockies Game
58. See a play at the Colorado Shakespeare Fest
59. Go dog sledding
60. Go to the first ever Chipotle on Evans in Denver
61. Go indoor skydiving
62. Take Logan to Black Barts Cave in Casa Bonita
63. Take Logan to the Butterfly Pavilion in Denver
64. Get dolled up and order bottle service at Suite 200
65. Go to Denver's Parade of Lights
66. Go to the XGames in Aspen (Jan 27-30)
67. March for March of Dimes in FC (April 30)
68. Buy a book from Tattered Cover
69. Take Logan to the Black Canyon
70. Check out the International Snow Sculptures in Breckenridge (Feb 4)
71. Go to the Denver Art Museum on the first Sat of the month for a FREE visit
72. Celebrate the first day of summer visiting the Colorado National Park for FREE (June 21)
73. Eat a Palisade Peach
74. Ride a historic carousel in Nederland
75. Take the Mollie Kathleen Gold Mine tour in Cripple Creek
76. Visit the Fiske Planetarium in Boulder
77. Walk across the Royal Gorge Bridge in Canyon City
78. Run through the human maze in Steamboat Springs
79. Go fishing in Bear Lake
80. Take a picture of Bridal Veil Falls in Telluride
81. Take a picture of the Maroon Bells in Aspen
82. Take a tour of Red Rocks Park and Amphitheater
83. Visit a Ghost Town in St. Elmo
84. Go on a sleigh ride
85. Take Logan to the Lee Martinez Farm
86. Take a tour of the Molly Brown House
87. Visit the Wildlife Experience in Parker
88. Visit Seven Falls in Colorado Springs
89. Visit Bishops Castle in Beulah 
90. Kit Carson Carousel in Stratton
91. Have a cup of tea at Dushanbe Teahouse in Boulder
92. 4th of July at City Park
93. Recreate our first date: Bowling, dinner, etc on the 16th Street Mall
94. Stop and see the buffalo on Floyd Hill
95. Run a 5K in Loveland
96. Have a beer at the Stanley Hotel in Estes Park
97. Go camping in Red Feather
98. Cut down a Christmas Tree
99. Participate in the Tour de Fat
100. Take Logan to the Discovery Museum
101. Enjoy the best donuts from LaMars in FC

11 Months Old--I'm already tearing up!

>Before I dive into this post, I want everyone to know that something great has happened. Our child care worries are OVER!! I was able to chat with my boss and a few coworkers and we were able to switch my schedule around so that I now have EVERY DAY FREE WITH HIM!! I work at 3pm until 11pm, except on Mondays and Fridays. It's like being a full time stay at home mom while still working. I am SO happy!!

*****

Ohmigawd. I cannot believe I am already writing Logan's 11 month update. This is so surreal. Every time I think about him turning one I get teary-eyed...it can't be so! This little baby of mine is growing up into a toddler wayyyyyy to freaking fast. He continues to steal our hearts with his smiles, giggles and new discoveries. Watching him figure out new things is one of the most awe-inspiring things about being a mother. Seeing him become frustrated with himself because he can't quite figure out how to stand alone is hilarious and adorable all at once. So here is what he's been up to:

• Food: Logan continues to eat just about everything. He loves his fruits and veggies. He especially loves fresh green beans, avocado, blue berries, pineapple, and sweet potatoes. We have been giving him a lot more meat lately and he loves chicken. He is still unsure about ground beef. If it is in very small amounts mixed with something like mashed potatoes he'll eat it. But he won't eat it alone. Now that he is nearing the 1 year mark which opens a few more doors in the way of foods, we are holding off on several things. B has a huge allergy to all fish and because of this, Logan has a high risk of having allergies in general. So we are delaying cows milk, fish, eggs, honey, and peanuts until he is at least 18 months.
• Motor skills: It is no surprise that our kiddo likes to get around, and fast! He is speed crawling everywhere. He plays the "I'm gonna get you!" game and crawls so fast from us as we chase him down the hall. He is pulling up and walking around just about anything he can, even walls. He can grip our fingers and walk along with us, sometimes on his tippy toes. He is still not confident in his balance to stand alone, which he may skip all together because his walking is getting so good.
• Fine motor skills: Logan got an Alphabet Train for Christmas and there are small blocks with letters on them. You can put a block in the engine and then it slips through to the caboose and sings a song. This is quite the fine motor skill and Logan has it down pat now! He stands over his train and puts block after block into the engine. He giggles and claps fully knowing how proud of him we are that he learn such a great skill so quickly! This has also enhanced his ability to put things just about anywhere. He puts blocks and his paci in the oddest places.
• Reading: Okay I know he is not actually reading yet, but over the last month Logan has taken an interest in books that has just floored us! He began to just play around with the pages. Now he sits there and stares at each page. Colors and faces really make him smile and he will actually sit in my lap for 2-3 books at a time now. I am SO PROUD!! Being that he was born into a very strongly influenced house of readers we know he will love to read as much as we do.
• Sizes: Logan is growing so much!! He has not been to the doctor for a few weeks. B tried weighing him with clothes on at the docs the other day when I was there and it said 20 pounds even. I would be so happy if he finally broke the 20 pound mark! He has always been such a peanut, though very tall. I am guessing he is at least 32" tall now. When he is not in a cloth diaper, he is wearing size 4s, which we still mostly do at night. I am on the hunt for new cloth diapers. The gDiapers are not working out as well as they used to. Lots more leaks, etc and the weight limit on them goes to 28 pounds so I am thinking that because of his length they are just not fitting him right. Logan wears mostly 12 month clothes and size 4 shoes. He has fat, big feet! Most 12 month pants are great in length but too lose around the waist. 
• Transportation: I have been wearing Logan a lot more lately and it has me wanting an Ergo carrier. Those things are expensive!! So maybe for his birthday??? Either way, the homemade moby wrap I made is working out well. I used youtube to try some new wraps now that he is bigger. I love the hug hold on my hip. He snuggles in and is so happy! He also loves his new stroller which I have been using more and more as we are out and about. Logan only rides in a convertible car seat now and will remain rear facing for as long as possible.
• Words: Still none. He babbles and has been discovering different pitches. He has been squealing a lot more lately. But no words. Not even mama or dada. He just babbles on and I am not too worried.

It is so hard to believe that in less than a month I will be celebrating one year of Logan's life with all his family and friends. Fast does not even come close to how I would describe it, because there are times that I recall not being so fast. Like the first 6 weeks, which for us, were our hardest weeks. It is true that things get easier, however there are other undiscovered territories that I am sure will pose challenges. We welcome them all! Happy Monday!

i heart face photo challenge week 2: Smiles

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This was sooooo hard to pick the photo for this week! I have not had a chance to really go out and try for that perfect picture yet so I've been digging through our archives. I found this gem. This is Brevon, one of my closest friends' son. I think he was 3 years old in this picture as we hiked up the Colorado National Monument in Western Colorado. It was an unusually warm day for March. I snapped this photo while Brevon was "searching for lizards". He was kind enough to give me a quick smile. Silly boy! He and Logan already love playing with each other when we are out on that side of the mountains! 

Go check out all the other awesome entries!

I'm Gonna Brag...about YOU!

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Come a little closer friends! This is post is going to be mostly about all you lovely ladies that inspire me on SO many different levels! And it's all thanks to Randalin over at Harvesting Kale. I am a fairly new follower in the last few months and the two of us have totally it it off! She is beautiful, inside and out and has the most adorable little boy, Kale. Logan is a few months older than Kale and I am certain that we would be real life besties. So, raise a glass with me Randalin as I thank you for giving me a Trendy Blog award! Thank you dear!

Here are the rules:


1. Post about this award
2. Pass it along to ten other bloggers
3. Leave a link to the Trendy Blog button so they can grab it RIGHT HERE


One of the greatest things about being a public blogger is the relationships that you build only through the words and pictures of another woman, sometimes a fellow mother, who you can relate to on every level. You wish that they lived in a closer town and that the other mamas in your play groups understood you like you bloggies besties do. So here is my list of the lovely ladies that you should all know. This was SO hard to put together and who knows I might cheat and add more than 10! lol Enjoy!


First and foremost, it goes without saying that Harvesting Kale is on the list so rather than giving her a number, just click on her link above!


1. Dear Baby. M is such a genuine, beautiful writer. I wish I had her same fluidity when it came to writing. Her letter to her readers announcing her second pregnancy had me in tears and I will forever be a follower of her awesome blog.


2. Playground Diva. Just take a second and re-read the name of that blog. I love it and want to hijack it from Heidi, my most favorite cousin (shhh don't tell the others!). I firmly believe that our blogging has only brought us closer. We have not lived in the same state for several years now and being that we are both mamas, we share so much in common. If you're into fashion, check her out! The girl knows how to match leggings with anything!


3. Hancock Heir. Dana is the mama of little Aydan. He is so precious and her blog is addicting! She is also someone I have only been following for a short time and I have loved what I have read so far!


4. Letters to Ames. This mama is about to have her hand very full! She is an adorable son, Ames, and is expecting TWIN GIRLS!! She is an honest writer and is taking the upcoming changes to her family so well! Again, another newish blog in my reader.


5. A Blessed Life. Jasmine has become a great friend over the last year or so. She has two beautiful kids and a huge heart for Christ and her family. We're buddies on FB now and I love seeing her updates. She is a great writer and so honest about life. I see so much of myself in her, it's kinda crazy!


6. Midwest Elle. Oh E. How I love thee! This girl has been on my reader pretty much since the day I started blogging. She has a sassy little girl, M, and I don't think I have EVER known anyone who loves coffee as much as she does. In fact, today's post was about a coffee pot! lol. She also always has great recipes, mostly for sweet things so it is SO her fault if I end up losing all my teeth someday.


7. My Sweet T. Tracey is the lovely mama of a new baby girl. I love reading her posts and her birth story is awesome! I'm a fairly new follower and can't wait to get to know her more!


8. Spacebook. This blog holds a special place in my heart. Caz is the mama of two little girls. Her first died tragically due to a placental abruption. Not long after their loss, she was pregnant again and this summer she welcomed her second daughter into the world. I presume this is why her blogging has slowed down lately but you should all take a peek at her blog.


9. The Makings of an Ostie Family. Anne!!! How I love her. She has the great honor of being the FIRST EVER bloggie bestie that I've met in person. And how lucky was it that it was the DAY AFTER SHE HAD HER BABY?! Perfect timing. I got to meet little Graydon and it was fantastic. I have been following her journey of TTC since the beginning and her son is more than a miracle for their little family.


10. Ambition Never Goes Out of Style. This girl, Kaity, has been a friend for several years. Now, she is a baby nurse in the same hospital I WAS BORN IN! It's kinda cool. She has a great blog about her life with her hubby and two dogs. Sounds like me before we had our son. Check her out!


Honorable Mentions:

• At Your Cervix
• B&R Plus 1
• Confessions of a Newlywed
• iheartfaces
• It takes a special kind...
• It's Not that Bad

Happy Reading!

I need YOU and your vote, thankyouverymuch.

>Help a sista out and vote for our photo please! We are #13 and all you have to do is click on the little "vote" tab under the picture and you're done! You don't have to vote 5 times...that just helps odds I guess. Thanks for the love and support!

Go HERE. Thanks!!

Still in the Woods

>Kinda.

Our child care situation is looking up, however it will be a major blow to our bank account. But we have no other options. So I have broken one of my mommy "I will nevers" and enrolled Logan into an infant daycare center. He will start on Tuesday and I am actually excited for him. He is going to love all the toys and interactions with children. The center was clean and the people were friendly. It is highly regarded in our community and I figure if we're gonna go broke we might as well go broke with the best care...right??
Anyway...glad that headache is semi-solved.

And where in the woods am I? Well...still having stomach issues. Again, I am not knocked up! I promise. This is severe abdominal pain that is coming and going and after revisit webmd.com tonight, I have all the symptoms of acute pancreatitis. I'm going to keep waiting it out though. I went all day today and the last two days with not much more than some mild nausea. I will be calling my doctor in the morning, just to let her know what's been going on. Knowing her, she will want me to go in and do a blood test, etc. She has closely monitored this since I first had it, always asking me about how my stomach has felt at every well woman check I go to each year. So that is where I'm at. If it is the onset of this horrible illness, I will have one hell of a shitty week ahead. Just sayin.

Quarter-life Crisis

>The past few days have been great. I had a little tummy bug on New Years Eve but I was in no way going to let that stop me from enjoying the most expensive meal we had paid for all year. Lobster Ravioli, anyone?? YUM-O! My stomach is still not 100%. I am praying it's not some new-found intolerance to something like milk. That would just about kill me if I had to give up cream cheese on bagels and cookies n cream ice cream. For a short time I was actually fearing a pancreatitis reoccurrence. I had it 3.5 years ago, unexplained, and on Friday I had similar symptoms. However, the pain never even came close to how painful it was when I actually had it. That being said, I am certain it's not pancreatitis.

Among other things...I feel like I'm going through a quarter-life crisis trying to figure out which direction my life is going to go. I almost said "supposed to go" but who says what is "supposed to happen"? There are two things I know for certain: I am passionate about women, pregnancy, & childbirth as well as teaching. So I will be actively pursuing my certification in Brio Birth, a method similar to the Bradley Method, but different in some ways. It's the newest type of childbirth class is still fairly new, especially here in Colorado. I am also going to still pursue my teaching license in elementary ed, but how is kind of up in the air. We have huge news, which I cannot share just yet, but because of that news I will not be able to enter the program that I am still waiting to hear back from. I cannot leave B to support our family alone with some new upcoming expenses and because of that, I am looking to find something online that will have student teach at the end of the program, at which point we would be more prepared for me to not be working. Just so we're clear (since I can see all of your wheels turning) I am NOT pregnant. ;)

Also...we are on the hunt, yet AGAIN, for new childcare for Logan. I knew this was coming, but OMG did it creep up quickly! So say some prayers.

i heart faces photo challenge: Best of 2010

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This is by far my most FAVORITE and BEST picture I took all year of my week man. This face is to FREAKING DIE FOR! Amirite?! So CHEERS to the New Year! You will be seeing A LOT more photography from me so keep coming back! I am enjoying entering the photo contests on i heart faces. So FUN!

Cheers to Twenty-Eleven!

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As per my most favorite baby blog on the interwebz, Dear Baby, I am going to follow M's lead and do yet ANOTHER photo post. This time, Logan's year in photos. Please do me a solid and let me know what you think of how I have edited them? I still have my dinky pink Sony CyberShot camera, but it can take some great pics! I have picked photos which have enhanced my eye for photography and one of my big goals for 2011 is to a) get a fancy new camera and b) take and post better pictures! While you check those out, tell me: what are your New Years Eve plans? We are taking Logan to a fancy Italian restaurant with some friends for some awesome wine and pasta. SO FUN! And it will be a late night. I will ensure that Logan has the most fun first New Years Eve celebration! Cheers!