Reading Material

>I shared a few weeks ago that I am training to become a Brio Birth instructor. The actual date for my workshop has not been set yet but will be in April sometime. I CANNOT WAIT!! I am eating, breathing, sleeping child birth as if I was pregnant again. One thing I am doing in the mean time is reading. Now that I am a mother and have given birth before, I wish I would have read more. I did, in fact read quite a bit, but I don't think I was reading the right material. That may sound bad, but considering I was aiming for a med free vaginal birth I should have been reading more material focused on just that. I only recall reading things like What to Expect When You're Expecting, The Bradley Method Handbook and a book on my baby's growth. Nothing specific on being confident in the kind of birth I actually was going for. Sure we had a "birth plan"and I wanted certain things, but I was not confident in those things and aside from Logan popping a hole in his lung, I really didn't get the birth I truly wanted. HOWEVER, let me say that I LOVED how it turned out. But if you asked me if I could change anything about my birth, I'd pass you a list.

Because of this, among other things, I have discovered a new passion and I want to encourage women to know their choices and have the best birth they can. The following is a list of the books I am/will be reading:

• Your Best Birth by Ricki Lake & Abby Epstein (I'm halfway through this and LOVING it!)
• Ask a Midwife by Catherine Parker (Also half way through this)
• Husband Coached Childbirth by Dr. Bradley
• Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon
• Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering by Sara Buckley
• Mind Over Labor by Carl Jones
• Having a Baby, Naturally by O'Mara
• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
• Born in the USA by Marsden Wagner
• Misconceptions by Naomi Wolf

Wow! I know that is a TON of reading. But if you think about it, it's not really any more or less than what you would expect while taking a true college course on the subject. Also, a few of the books are very similar and I will be skimming most of it. Starting off with Your Best Birth has been great. It's one of the more recently published which makes the skimming easy.

My goal as a childbirth educator is to NOT make any mom feel like she is making a bad choice, no matter what that choice is. I want moms to feel fully educated so that when they make a certain choice, they are fully away of the pros and cons. My Bradley instructor, while amazing and not intentionally, made me feel bad about ending up with an epidural. I remember sitting on the birth ball while B was holding my shoulders through a contraction. I had oxygen on and was nearly passing out from the pain. I had not dilated from a 4 in over 2 hours. My nurse was amazing, not asking if I wanted some relief. I cried as I told B that it was time for some relief and we were both so scared that it would lead to a c-section, because that is the fear that was instilled in us in class, that my guilt flooded me as I waited for the anesthesiologist. I know now that getting the epidural helped me relax, something which does not happen with all moms, and made things move along a lot faster. Regardless, I don't want one of my moms to feel guilty if she choses to get an epi.

Quarter-life Crisis

>The past few days have been great. I had a little tummy bug on New Years Eve but I was in no way going to let that stop me from enjoying the most expensive meal we had paid for all year. Lobster Ravioli, anyone?? YUM-O! My stomach is still not 100%. I am praying it's not some new-found intolerance to something like milk. That would just about kill me if I had to give up cream cheese on bagels and cookies n cream ice cream. For a short time I was actually fearing a pancreatitis reoccurrence. I had it 3.5 years ago, unexplained, and on Friday I had similar symptoms. However, the pain never even came close to how painful it was when I actually had it. That being said, I am certain it's not pancreatitis.

Among other things...I feel like I'm going through a quarter-life crisis trying to figure out which direction my life is going to go. I almost said "supposed to go" but who says what is "supposed to happen"? There are two things I know for certain: I am passionate about women, pregnancy, & childbirth as well as teaching. So I will be actively pursuing my certification in Brio Birth, a method similar to the Bradley Method, but different in some ways. It's the newest type of childbirth class is still fairly new, especially here in Colorado. I am also going to still pursue my teaching license in elementary ed, but how is kind of up in the air. We have huge news, which I cannot share just yet, but because of that news I will not be able to enter the program that I am still waiting to hear back from. I cannot leave B to support our family alone with some new upcoming expenses and because of that, I am looking to find something online that will have student teach at the end of the program, at which point we would be more prepared for me to not be working. Just so we're clear (since I can see all of your wheels turning) I am NOT pregnant. ;)

Also...we are on the hunt, yet AGAIN, for new childcare for Logan. I knew this was coming, but OMG did it creep up quickly! So say some prayers.