here's to momentum

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Thanks to who seems to be my only reader out there in blog land (based solely on comments-I know there're more of you out there!) I have some much needed inspiration to write more pointed posts that won't have me ratteling off all of the random crap we did last weekend. Sure, those posts will still be around every once in awhile, but I'm not proud of how crappy my writing has been lately. I have a degree in English and THIS is how I'm using it?! Time to take MORE time with my posts and really make it worth it for you to continue to be a reader/follower. And not just for you, but for me too.

Last night B and I were going through all of our old writing material we saved from college. We have countless binders and notebooks filled with writing that is so good I can hardly believe I wrote it. Really. With that in mind, I am going to be taking some time to really figure out what this blog means to me and how writing makes me feel. I love to write. But I hate writing pointless, boring things which people will skim over in their feeds (which most of you have by now!) lol. It's time for purpose.

Being that it is 10 days into May, I will say that regardless of my motivation to write more I will be writing less due to how crazy-busy this month already is and will be. We're moving in just a few weeks. Packing, organizing an cleaning are eminent and I am hoping to share how I get it done all while working full time with a child, hubby and two dogs to care for. Speaking of the dogs, we need to get them to the vet for their yearly visits which always costs us an arm and a leg. Note to self-one dog is enough (however I could not imagine our lives without either one!). Running has totally gone to the wayside and if there weren't other things like packing that I'm sucking motivation into then I would so be out there pounding the pavement with Logan. I loved doing it but there is no way my tired brain and body can work that into our schedule. And at the end of the month B and I are going out of town (separately) for four days. Wowza!

So that about sums May up. In the mean time here is a short list of ideas to help kick my writing rear into gear (haha!). 

• the ins and outs of being a working mother
• how to be a mother to a boy
• separation anxiety
• love and marriage
• weekly recipe (def for WAYYYY after our move)
• ...and more

Ideas?? Please share!! :)

Becoming A Runner

>This has been something that has been SO hard for me to get to. I am still not there, but I have a lot more motivation right now. My bestie and cousin Heidi has become a HUGE motivator, being that she is a beautiful mother of three and looks more amazing now than she ever has. Her strength and beauty astounds me. I am beside myself with how well she has stuck to her goals and overcome so much, and not just athletically. Let's talk about that. I am NOT an athletic person. I never have been. Ever. I tried to get into certain sports while younger but nothing ever stuck. I started dancing in 6th grade and while I loved it, it was almost as if I was ten years too late because of how NOT flexible and graceful I am. I have flat feet so I tried gymnastics for a year. Too tall. My rear end brushed the floor while on the low bar of the uneven bars. In 7th grade I did volleyball for a year. I wasn't bitchy enough (as if that has anything to do with how athletic I am--I'm actually pretty good at it). In 10th grade I tried out for basketball but again, not coordinated for it. While my hight seemed to be enough for just about everyone I knew, it was not enough for the people who actually cared about winning. And honestly, I didn't care at all.

So all in all, I am not, nor have I ever been, an athletic person. I have, however, found ways to be an active person. I love camping, hiking, and a friendly game of beach volleyball. I also love long walks in the summer after dinner. Nothing beats the perfect summer night temps in CO. Nothing. So here I am, 13.5 months after having given birth and I have been torn: do I work my ass off (literally) to get into shape only to get knocked up again in the next year or so OR do I just get knocked up now and be done with it later. Meh...we're not ready for a baby and honestly, I am pretty sure that if I have a healthier more fit body next time around I won't gain as much weight or have nearly as much aches and pains so early on as I did. Who knows--just a theory.

So back to my dearest H. She is my rockstar. Gah I love her and HATE more than sushi that she is not down the street from me (I really hate sushi). Sooooo we've chatted a bit over the weekend and I am finally ready to give an honest to goodness go at getting my arrse in gear. Literally. I will be heading down to the gym bright and early tomorrow morning (5:20am!!) to job/walk for 30 mins. Here is the plan I am going to try to follow. I think it is fairly similar to the advice that H has gifted me--to do whatever I can for 30 min. Run or walk, be able to carry on a convo without being totally out of breath. I can do this and I WILL do it. I'll do my best to keep things updated-good days and bad- and I'm HOPING that I might be someone who can motivate one of you, like H has me, to be more active. So shoot up a few prayers because 5:20am is NOT that far away!! :)

In other news: we start our swim classes tomorrow!!

Project 31: Day 5

>Day Five: Write a Blog About Someone Who has Made my Heart Come Alive


The cliche thing to do would be to write about Logan or my husband. Logan has made my heart explode since the day we met and I am pretty open about how he's stolen my heart. That being said, I thought I would honor a woman who is quite nearly my sister.


My cousin, Heidi, has become one of my most favorite people over the last few years and we have not even seen each other since my wedding day. In fact, she has always been one of my most favorite people, but she has made my heart come alive more in the last two years than ever before. 


UPDATE: I read a few other 31 posts and decided to put this into letter form, rather than a general "this is why this person is awesome" dealio.


Dearest Heidi,

Gosh I don't even know where to start. First of all, you are by far one of the most incredible women I know. You are strong, beautiful, honest, compassionate, and dedicated. You have always been a loyal person in my life and I love you for that. Being that I never had a sister, you are the closest thing to that because I am sure that if we were hundreds of miles closer we would surely be sharing clothes and silly stories about our children. Our children would then be doing the same with each other.

I want to tell you everything and there are very few people on this green earth I can say that to. I want you to know all my deep dark secrets, ideally shared over a glass of white wine (red gives me a head ache!) and on a night in which our husbands are watching the babes.

You make my heart come alive when we have hour long texting sessions about everything we can think of. My heart explodes because I know that you will always be there to listen and give sage advice, no matter what the issue or concern is. You are such a perfect example of what it means to be a godly wife and woman. I am following in your footsteps as you lead an example which I am sure others would love if only they knew. I know that I can always call you with questions about being a new mama and the fact that YOU, next to my dear husband, were the very first person I told about little Logan is saying a lot. We do what we can with the miles between us and I know someday soon we will come together again and share that wine and celebrate being cousins, best friends, mothers and wives together. Cheers to you, for always being a constant in my life and showing me how to truly embrace this exciting time in my life. I love you.

~S.

Project 31: Playing Catch Up

>I have dedicated today to a cleaning-stay-at-home-and-write-a-bit-while-playing-with-Logan kinda day. He is down for a nap (almost--he has been fighting them lately) and I am enjoying my daily dose of Greek. Netflix has been awesome like that. I am watching the entire series and loving it.

Day Two: What Makes Me Unique

1. I am a hopelessly obsessed Hanson fan and have been since I was 13 years old. It's just one of those things that will never change. 

    2. I hate disappointing people, to the point that I will feel physically ill if I did so.

    3. Carpets are not clean to me unless you can see the lines from the vacuum.

    4. I rarely ever run yellow lights. Not because it's not safe, but because I'm afraid of being pulled over.

    5. I love when Butte licks my feet.

    6. I wish that most of my readers were my real life friends.

    7. I hate heights, but flying does not bother me.

    8. I have a rather large nose and have always hated it, until recently. I've embraced that uniqueness.

    9. I hate when the covers on the bed are all messed up.

    10. I waited to move in with DH until AFTER were were married and I am SO glad I did.

silly me!

Day three: Who is Someone I Know Who Inspires Beauty:

The first person who comes to mind is my mother, as cliche as that sounds. She is truly beautiful, inside and out. I would not be the woman, wife and mother I am today without her. Her beauty radiates God's love. She is a servant to Him and His people and has taught me so much about sharing God's love and beauty. My mom is a teacher, something I never aspired to be until the last few years. She is incredible at her job and because she teaches three year olds her advice has been priceless. I learned recently how not shaving freaks her out. I NEVER knew this about her! I myself hate shaving and literally go months without doing it. My mom shaves at least twice a week, even in the winter! She takes pride in her body (not that I don't) by doing things that make her feel beautiful like taking care of her body, eating right and reading great books. She is the first person I call when I need advice with a new recipe, when I have a fight with B or when Logan will just not stop crying. She is one of my best friends and her beauty inspires me to be more like her.

Day four: Post A Pic of Me in My Fav Outfit:

I'm gonna cheat and not post a pic. I honestly don't have a favorite outfit. In fact, clothes stress me out. I have a hard time feeling 100% comfortable in anything I own. This is not to say I don't like the clothes I own, I just have a hard time putting cute things together. I am a very simple, jeans and tee-shirts kind of girl. When I dress up I love long skirts, earrings, and flats. See? Simple.

Day five to follow.

Book Review: Your Best Birth

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(source)

Wow! I am finished with the first book on my giant reading list for Brio Birth Class. This particular book was not actually a required reading but I have to read one extra that's not required and here it is. In fact, most of the books on my bedside right now are not required. But I figure different perspectives never hurt anyone. In fact, I can now pick those ones up easily and quickly skim them. That is how informative Your Best Birth is. Ricki Lake & Abby Epstein did a fabulous job describing all the ins and outs of child birth in today's America. The tag line on the front of the book reads, "Know all your options, discover the natural choices, and take back the birth experience." This sums up the book perfectly.

I remember when I was pregnant and I saw this book sitting on the shelf in Barnes & Noble, thinking to myself that it looked like a good read but I did not feel like I had the patience to read a book on child birth that was nearly 200 pages long. No thank you. Now that I have read the book cover to cover and literally had a hard time putting it down, I would recommend this book to EVERYONE, even if you have had 10 babies. GO READ THIS NOW!! Ricki and Abby take turns writing about different aspects of child birth starting out with what birth plans used to be like, choosing your provider and birth place, while ending with medical interventions and c-sections. Yes, people, you CAN have your best birth even if you end up with a NECESSARY c-section.

I was instantly drawn into the book. Maybe it was because I had watched "The Business of Being Born" while I was pregnant and knew what to expect. Or maybe it was because these two women outlined child birth with so much honesty and depth I was wishing I had read it before having Logan. Not to say that I could have changed the outcome, but I may have allowed myself to be more confident in the things we did and did not want apart of our birthing experience. In the moment, I got wrapped up in such a fuzzy daze due to the pain, epidural and lack of sleep. Ricki and Abby talk about this. Your inhibitions go out the window. Whether you strip down naked for all the world to see or you suddenly do every single thing the doctor is telling you needs to happen, because hey, they are the doc-tor! It hard to say no to a medical professional. That is why it is SO SO important for women to educate themselves on child birth. Whether you take a class, read books, or actually witness a birth. Any of these options will help educate you on all aspects of child birth. The funny thing is that I felt like I had educated myself quite a bit: I read books, took a Bradley class, and obsessively talked about my pregnancy and birth wishes with other veteran friends. If I had read this book, I would have been that much more informed.

Ricki and Abby include "Birth Goddess" stories. If you're anything like me, then you really enjoy reading and hearing about others' birth stories. These are not all flowery and happy. However, the featured birth goddess certainly makes an effort to have a better birth the second go around. Just because you have had a c-section or a high risk pregnancy, does not mean that you can't have exactly what you want with your next pregnancies. This is so encouraging, especially for someone who has had difficulties in pregnancies or previous births.

There is a list at the end of the book "World Health Organization Recommendations for the Best Birth". This list is essential for any expecting mother. It provides a crutch so that if you are planning on a hospital birth, regardless of what they want you to have, you know what the WHO wants you to have and that is THE BEST BIRTH with as few medical interventions as possible.

Your Best Birth outlines what everyone should know about child birth. Interventions, medications, providers, and birth places. All of these things shape your birth. I feel very confident in saying that the next time we decide to have a baby I will certainly aim for not only a unmedicated, natural birth, but also one which takes place at home. I am not longer scared of being away from all those beeping machines. In fact, I am more afraid of those machines!! If you have read this review, thank you. I hope that it is helpful. Now, go read this book. Please. ;)

Self-Improvement

>A new year is just days away and I find myself reflecting on how I want next year to be. This year, 2010, was amazing in so many different ways, however, it has also been very challenging. I cannot think of a time in my life when I truly felt depressed. I never imagined I could ever feel so low while being so blessed at the same time. I feel gulity for all the negativity my blog has sucummed to in the last few months which is a clear reflection of my readership. If you're reading, thanks. As I have said before, I love writing for an audiance but I do know that if I was following a blog that was sad and whiny all the time I might not be following much longer.

I have always been a fan of New Years Resolutions, though like most I have a hard time following through on them. So I am going to set myself up here with a list of goals for myself and this blog. I want people to enjoy reading about my life. I had no idea this blog would turn into a full blown baby blog, but that is what happens when you have a baby! Logan is my world and I am so thankful to have him in my life. I would not change a thing for one second. So lets raise our glasses and celebrate this new persepctive on life for 2011! It's going to be a GREAT YEAR!!!

1. Smile no matter what.
2. Think positivily, write positivly.
3. Think about others too, not just my family (I find myself forgetting to do this, and I'm getting my ass kicked for it).
4. RELAX!
5. Run twice a week.
6. BUY A HOUSE!
7. Read the Bible.
8. Figure out what I'm supposed to do career-wise (just in case I don't get into the teaching program).
9. Be the best mommy I can be to Logan.
10. Be the best wife I can be to B.
11. Ignore the small stuff.
12. Be more graceful while still being assertive.
13. RELAX!
14. Appreciate EVERYTHING in my life.
15. Hug a non-family member everyday.
16. Find something I enjoy doing alone (other than writing)

This list is a continous work in progress and one thing I have learned over the last few months or so is that I am wound so damb tight I need to effing relax! As you see I put it on my list a few times, just so I don't forget. Have you seen Black Swan yet? Wellllllll Nina is an incredible dancer and embodies the White Swan perfectly, but she won't let herself relax and be a little bit crazy to embody the Black Swans character. I need to let lose! The movie was empowering (for me anyway) and made me really realize that I need to figure out what my passion is and to RELAX!!! So anway, I hope you'll follow me into the new year. Lots of great things await us.

A New Perspective

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I reread what I wrote last night and I want to thank those of you who took the time to send me a message or comment. Means a lot to me. I first want to say that I only had a half glass of wine while writing it so it was in no way influenced by something else. I was sober and I am sober now. However, after 8 hours of sleep I feel a little clearer about things this morning. Yes, I am going to take a blogging break of some kind, but it does not mean I am going to stop reading and commenting on other blogs. It also does not mean that if I have something I want to write, I won't write it. I will, however, keep that writing positive. Working where I work, while it is hard to say goodbye to people on a regular basis, there is a huge lesson learned about how short life is and how quickly it can be taken from you. Therefore, I would not want to feel the way I do and for this to be the last thing that B is remembering about if, God forbid something happens. That sounds morbid, but for whatever reason, looking at this "down" time in my life makes me want to enjoy what I do have that does make me happy even more. So, I will leave you with some thankful thoughts.

I am thankful that I am healthy.
I am thankful that I am able to snuggle with my boy and meet his needs.
I am thankful to be a mother.
I am thankful for B.
I am thankful for Jesus' forgiveness.