Friday, March 6, 2009

>Security Blanket

>Did you have one?

I did, but not until I was older. As a baby/toddler, I had a blankie, but I was not attached to it. If it was not around, I did not really seem to care.

When I was seven, my grandmother gave me a stuffed dog for Christmas and I named "her" Jesse. I loved stuffed animals. Everytime my dad went out of town, he would bring me back a new one. This particular stuffed animal did not spark my fancy until a year or two later.

One night I was feeling like I needed something to sleep with. Under the moonlight, I sat in front of my shelves of stuffed animals and carefully looked each one over, as if I was picking America's Next Top Model. Jesse was situated on the end, bottom shelf and once I saw her, there was no second thought. I pulled her off the shelf, climbed into bed and feel asleep. It stayed that way until last year.

Yes, I said last year. I was 23 years old when I weened myself from my "security blanket". With B and all that, I did not want to sleep with Jesse anymore. B did not even care. He even thought it was cute. I did it for so long because I got so used to falling asleep with something against my chest. When I started to ween myself, I thought it would be easy. It wasn't.

But like anything else, over time it did become easier and soon enough, she was back on the shelf with everyone else. I miss sleeping with her. Yes, B is a wayyyyy better security blanket, but without Jesse, it is true proof that all that childhood stuff is gone. So I will save her for my children, along with all the rest of my stuffed animals, beanie babies and all.

Isn't it ironic that it was harder for me to give something up as an adult, than as a child? Weird.

Have a happy weekend!

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