Friday, February 20, 2009

>Maybe baby? No...

>                                                                   (me and my friend's daughter)
You all know how much I want a baby, right? And if you don't, then I'm sorry. Now you know. I want a baby. This is not a new development since getting married. No way. I have wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. When I was a little girl, I would play house with the neighbor boy down the street (Heidi, do you remember Matthew??) and I would shove my baby dolls up my shirt, sit around for 9 minutes (my version of 9 months) and out popped our child. This was never ending and my love for children and becoming a mother grew when my cousins were born. There is a HUGE age gap between me and a bunch of my cousins. Most of them were born after I had turned nine until I was about fifteen. On my dad's side, my brother is the youngest of the "older" cousins with a seven year age gap between him and the next cousin born. I am only giving you this boring info so that you can see that babies and children have been apart of my life forever

One of the first things that B and I talked about when we were dating was how much we both wanted to be parents. We love kids. B is so good with kids it makes me cry! We never really talked about a timeline for having our own children, other than before we were 30. I would be happy if now was the time, but it's not. Over the last few weeks, B started asking me to go back on birth control. I have been off it since the wedding and just been using other modes of protection. We would prefer to be less careful is there was more protection in place. Don't get me wrong: if we got pregnant now, it would be great and we would both be super happy. But neither of us think that we live in an environment we want to bring a baby into and B wants to have a consistent job with consistent pay. Which I totally agree with! 

So I called my doctor yesterday and she called in a prescription and come two weeks from now, we will officially NOT be getting preggers any time soon. I told him that if I am going back on BC that I wanted to wait another year because of how screwy the pill makes my body, both when starting and stopping. I am okay with this. I know that I will be a mother someday and I know that God knows the right timing for that. Now, is not the best timing. So that is that. 

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