>I am usually not very good at remembering my dreams. But last night was different. First off, it snowed like a banshee outside for a good 30 minutes and quit before I had to come home. My anxiety of driving home in what was sure to be black ice gripped me. I arrived home safely and quickly made my way to bed with B. We were both exhausted and I didn't even crack open my book to read. My head hit the pillow and there I closed my eyes and waited. I waited for sleep to overcome me and take me away to dream land. It was two whole hours before that happened and around 12:45am Logan woke up crying. I tried to let him cry himself back to sleep for a few minutes but he just got more desperate for me to rescue him. He had vaccines on Friday night and our Saturday was a rough one (hence the exhaustion).
I rocked Logan back to sleep without feeding him and laid him back down. Thirty minutes later he was crying again. I made a quick bottle and he ate it quickly. At this point I was delirious. I had a head ache setting in and my eyes stung from the lack of sleep. I tucked myself back into bed and B said, "good job Sarah". I smiled silently and quickly fell asleep.
What came next was more than just a bad dream, but a nightmare. I was driving around with B somewhere in Denver. It was somewhat familiar and we were suddenly on a roof, sitting in chairs under dark lighting. He was leaving me. I was desperate. I kept begging him over and over to stay with me. I never asked why, which is odd when there did not seem to be any reason. All he kept saying in the dream was "no, I have to go" and I could not stop sobbing. Though the setting was odd, the dream felt horribly real. Logan woke me from the dream around 6am and I felt so confused. I was confused, waking up next to B, realizing the falsehood of the dream. I tended to Logan once again and he went back to sleep. I snuggled in closer to B and told him right away what I had dreamed. He instantly comforted me, telling me it's okay, nothing like that would ever happen and I know that is true. He would never leave me. I would never leave him. But for some reason the dream took a hold on my consciousness that defined my attitude all day. I was snappy and cranky with B and almost mad at him without any good reason. I had to stop myself several times and tell him how sorry I was, that it has to have been the dream that has caused me to be so grumpy with him. He was so understanding and sweet. I have the most incredible husband and I hate that I had such a horrible dream.