When I met B in college our senior year, I knew that he smoked pot. And he knew that I was not a fan. He reaaaallllly liked me (who couldn't!) and brought his habit down to only smoking a few times a week. I never wanted to be around him if he smoked and this alone made him want to smoke less so that I would come over and hang out. This was never a huge issue until right before we got engaged. I was feeling like he should have quit by now. I had never tried pot before and could not understand how he could be addicted to it, even after only doing it maybe once a month by then.
I got to the point where, if it was a special thing and he was hanging out with his friends, I would just blow it off. But still, in the back of my mind, I was hoping he would eventually just stop craving it.
Our wedding brought many of our friends together, even the ones B used to smoke with. Before leaving, B was handed a gift from a friend in the form of pot. I was unaware of this exchange until we were in our honeymoon suite and I am proud to say I was not even close to upset or offended. I was actually excited about trying it! I sound like a hypocrite, but I am most worried about getting caught with it and I knew camping was the perfect time to smoke for the first time.
Honestly, I don't get it. I don't like it or the way it makes me feel (or not feel...) and I hate the way it smells. I am bringing this up because we continue to have mini issues about this subject. B wants to smoke and I don't want him to. Do I have the control to make him stop? I am being totally unfair and out of line? Should I just let him do whatever he wants to do? My main concern is that we want children soon and I want this habit kicked BEFORE our mini me shows up. He says he can do that. I know he can, but I don't think he really wants to. "But what if I go play poker with the guys? What if we go camping again? What if it gets legalized? What if..." all these senarios try to pull into acceptance of this habit and I am not going there. Not gonna happen. So, most recently, we have a compromise: B can smoke if I drink more than 2 alcoholic drinks. I rarely drink more than 2 so this is going to work out. B even feels good about it and that the longer he goes without it, the easier it will be to say he is totally done with this drug.
I know it could be worse. I know that pot is next to harmless. But it is still illegal, it is still inhibiting, and it makes everything smell bad. I know most of you have tried this or even are regular smokers. That is fine. I am not here to judge and in fact, I really don't care. That does not change how I feel about someone (obviously). I love B and I know that he loves me and wants to make me happy. I want him to be happy too, so I am torn. It seems like the easiest answer to me, but B does not see it that way (yet). He will. I suppose I am wondering if you have issues with your husband/boyfriend on this level? It could be drugs, alcohol, caffein...whatever. Any suggestions and/or encouragements would be great! I feel like I am being a mean wife and I know that B does not think that, but I am a bit self conscious about it.