Tuesday, April 21, 2009

>The One Where We *might* Be Pregnant

>B and I have officially been TTC now for two months. I will not know how this second month has worked out until next week (when we are in Cabo--are you for real, AF?? I mean SERIOUSLY?!?) So, I would LOVE to be "with child" for a thousand reasons, one of which just so happens to be NOT having a visit from AF while lounging in my super cute bikini with my super hot hubby on the beach for seven days. How this was planned, I am not sure, but God, I am sooo not laughing at this joke. Unless, of course, the above is true... 

How do I feel?? Well, not too different. I have been more emotionally healthy this month, thinking more positive thoughts, being just happier in general. I have felt extra tried the last week or so, but work and planning for our trip could be the culprits. I feel like this is a true/false question on a test. "You are pregnant: true or false? You are not pregnant: true of false?" I obviously have no idea and will probably cave and take a test before we leave...just in case. I do have margaritas on my mind. If that happens, regardless of the answer, we are not telling anyone...we want to enjoy our trip without worrying about what everyone else is thinking.

If it comes to one pink line, then we will actually go on a little TTC hiatus. B has a new job with an insurance company with awesome maternity insurance and requires that the plan is active for 2 months prior to conception. I can handle that. I suppose I am filling you all in on this so you don't get worried or anything. I am the first to think those negative thoughts, but I am not letting those thoughts in. We will have a baby when the time is right for us according to His plan.

On a completely unrelated note, I got rid of facebook a few days ago after a five year loyalty. I can't say I miss it, yet. I do miss seeing new pictures from friends. That is the ONLY thing I miss. But I knew I would not miss it enough to keep my account. Facebook is nothing like wine. The older it got, the worse it tasted!! The newsfeeds drove me up a wall. I do not care about what you said to someone else who is not my friend. Why would anyone want to see that kind of stuff? I also did not like being notified that someone else, whom I don't know, commented on a friend of mine's picture that I also had commented on. Hello?? Pointless!! I went through this with myspace. I grew up. I don't need those internet social networks anymore. I am happy here at blogger and it is private enough that I feel good about my safety. I love reading all of your blogs and learning from you. I hope that you take those kinds of things from my blog as well. I realize that I have been a terrible writer lately and I feel it is out of stress and boredom with writing that I just don't write. And when I do, it is poo. I am going to work on this over the next few weeks. Please be patient with me. This is something I truly want to be good out, so I am going to make an honest effort to be better. Not just to make you smile or laugh more, but to grow as a writer and learn more about myself.

**Praying for Stellan!**

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