30 before 30

1. master 100 squats a day
2. run a 5K
3. observe my first vaginal birth
4. plant a garden
5. purchase a meal anonymously for a family in a restaurant
6. go on a mini-vaca with my mom
7. host Thanksgiving Dinner
8. make my own wine
9. get a tattoo
10. go fishing
11. rent a tandem bike with B for a night on the town
12. tailgate at a Broncos game
13. Watch the sunset from Peaks Lounge in the Hyatt @ Colorado Convention Center
14. go to brew at the zoo with B
15. tour celestial seasonings with B
16. go to the Winter X-Games with B
17. stay over-night at the Stanley Hotel with B
18. plan and go on a girls weekend with my besties
19. shadow a midwife for a weekend
20. write a will
21. create a family emergency binder
22. go to Vegas (I've never been!)
23. go golfing with my Dad
24. write a letter to each family member
25. try the paleo diet for a month
26. take a photography class
27. Get a mani/pedi
28. Get a Chinese massage
29. Paint and decorate our bedroom
30. Get into nursing school 

currently

On this edition of currently...

Logan is currently (and forever and always, I hope!) loving on his little sister. He loves her so much. He asks to hold her almost every day and when we are playing he says her full name: "Ev-(UH)-LYN!" so stinking cute!

I am currently loving my husband...this has been a rough month for us in the finance department. Being off of work for three months is HARD. I am glad to be back work and happy that we will see more coming in soon, but this little limbo we are in is hard on both of us. So I am just trying to love him more. He works so hard. I love you B!!

Logan is currently creating his argument for while a rolly-pollie needs to be inside the house inside of a plastic bowl. So far his winning argument has been "but mommy he will DIE in the rocks!" Yeah.

I am currently creating headbands for Evelyn's Armoire. I love it. And I don't really have a ton of extra time for it, but it's nice to do something relaxing. And gosh-darnit they are cute!!

Logan is currently watching Evie's every move. Did she poop? Is she awake or sleeping? Is she happy? Why is she eating? Curious little man.

I am currently watching Breaking Bad, Project Runway (RIGHT Ot & Ett?!), and Under the Dome.

My Must-Haves {baby #2}

This post is a long time coming. Here is a list with links to the best things I found most useful during this 2nd pregnancy and the first three months of Evelyn's life. In the comments, leave you must have items.

Pregnancy...

• Pregnancy Support Belt: I purchased this sometime around the 20 week mark. My back and hips were already causing trouble. I never tried it with my first pregnancy. I did no find it very helpful until I was further along, around 28 weeks or so and then I wore it every day!
• Prenatal Swim Class: This is the greatest thing for pregnancy that NO ONE is talking about! I know I talked about it while I was going, but it seriously was so nice to walk into the water, feel weightless, take a dip in the hot tub for a few minutes to relax...just lovely.

Labor/Delivery:

• My own gown: I bought a large, summer night gown at Target that was short and easy to take off. It was SO comfortable while laboring around the hospital for what really was several hours. I have helped man patients into the hospital gowns an seriously, they are so uncomfortable. They're too big, too scratchy and just not ideal for giving birth. Speaking of, this even came off when it was time to deliver.

0-3 Months:

• Aden & Anais blankets. I seriously love these things and I wish I'd bought them sooner! Evie loves them, as I wrote a few days ago.
• Consignment stores: I have bought most of Evie's clothes from ARC or Once Upon A Child and have been really happy with the quality. She goes through a few outfits a day and now that we are heading into the fall season I was able to gather a lovely stash of pants for next to nothing.
• Medela Pump: The pump and I have a love hate relationship. I had to use it almost exclusively for the first two weeks due to terrible engorgement. That created a lovely stash in the freezer (which I just donated!). And now that I am working full time again, I NEED a good, trusty pump.
• Coffee Maker: I have a super cheap one that gives me some tasty coffee which is a total must have with two kids and no time for naps!

And that's about it! This time around I am so much more relaxed about what we actually need and use. Breastfeeding makes this so much easier. What are your must haves?

Dear Daughter (a repost)

We have basic cable and alas, no MTV. I'm not missing anything. But apparently I did miss something last night! All this hoop-la over Miley Cyrus...wow. I had to google what has since been blowing up my twitter and facebook feed. And then Anne shared this amazing, short letter. So, Evie, this one's for you love because I'm not sure I can say it any better:

From Roadkill Goldfish:

Dear daughter, let Miley Cyrus be a lesson to you.

Yes, this is what happens when you constantly hear everything you do is awesome. This is what happens when people fawn over your every Tweet and Instagram photo. This is what happens when no responsible adult has ever said the word “no,” made you change your clothes before leaving the house, or never spanked your butt for deliberate defiance.

If you ever even consider doing something like that, I promise you that I will run up and twerk so you will see how ridiculous twerking looks. I will duct tape your mouth shut so your tongue doesn’t hangout like an overheated hound dog. I will smack any male whom you decide to smash against his pelvis – after I first knock you on your butt for forgetting how a lady acts in public.

Why would I do that? Because I love you and I want you to respect yourself. Miley Cyrus is not edgy or cool or sexy. She’s a desperate girl screaming for attention: Notice me. Tell me I’m pretty. See how hot I am. I know all the guys want me. All the girls want to be me.

You probably know girls who will emulate this behavior at the next school dance. Don’t do it with them. You are far too valuable to sell yourself so cheaply. Walk away. Let the boys gawk and know in your heart that they see only a body that can be used for their pleasure and then forgotten.

I’m sorry if you’ve ever felt sad because I haven’t gushed over everything you’ve done. My role is to praise when praise is due, but also to offer constructive criticism and correction when it is needed as well. I’m sorry if you’ve ever felt demoralized because your Instagram following isn’t in the thousands, and I’m sorry those “selfies” can never capture how amazingly beautiful you truly are. I’m sorry if you’ve ever wished you had a friend instead of a mom, and I promise you that I will probably get worse when you hit high school.

Dear daughter, I am going to fight or die trying to keep you from becoming like the Miley Cyruses of the world.

You can thank me later.

Blankie girl

Evie loves the Aden and anais blankies I got her. They seriously calm and comfort her in seconds. I love that I can use them for anything and take them everywhere. She loves putting a handful of the blanket in her mouth and wrapping it around herself. So sweet. 

behind her name

My grandmother's name was Evelyn but I never knew her as such. Everyone called her Boots, we called her Grandma Boots and only on really serious occasions was she called Evelyn (which I never witnessed). When I was 22 I spent a summer in New Jersey with my aunt, uncle and cousins. I lived next door to them with my Grandma Boots. It was one of the best summers I ever had. I spent my days hanging out with the kids on the beach, at the yacht club, making meals and running errands and then most nights I spent them with Grandma. We played Gin, watched movies, and talked about anything. It was amazing. She passed away almost 6 years ago. I am so glad she was able to meet B a few months before her passing. He knows what an amazing lady she really was.

B and I were engaged a few weeks after she passed away and we always loved talking about our future family and names. When I found out I was pregnant with Logan, I knew that if he was a she, that I wanted to name her Evelyn after my Grandma Boots. B loved the name and it was set. Then Logan was a boy. So we tucked that name away for "next time", fingers crossed. THEN we spent nine months guessing whether or not we were having a boy or girl. Wayyyy deep down I knew she was a girl. I never let myself be too convinced, though, because I'd be lying if I said I would have been a little disappointed.

And here we are. Evelyn Taylor made her debut, girly girl and all! We love her name, but even more who she is named after.

Dear Evelyn {3 months old}

My sweet daughter,

This is the first letter I have ever written you. Today you are three months old. I cannot say for sure why this is your first letter, but I'm glad I'm finally getting around to it! You mean the world to me and your daddy. And your big brother Logan loves you more than anything! We are so blessed that God chose us to be your parents. Being your mother is a gift and I hope that we will always see and feel it that way.

There are so many things I want to say to you, but those will have to wait until another letter. For now, I want to share what you're up to.
You smile.
You are trying to figure out how to laugh.
You stare at Logan as if he is the only one you have eyes for.
You love being propped up on a lap, staring back at us as we make silly faces and sounds at you.
You are so strong.
We knew you were strong when you were only a few days old and already trying to hold your head up. And we know you are strong because you can sleep through your brother playing a harmonica while the TV is on, the dishwasher is running, and I am talking on the phone. ;)
You are nursing perfectly. Our breastfeeding relationship is one of my most favorite things that only you and I share. When you are a mother someday, you will feel and know what I mean. You will know what I mean when you see your baby gazing up into your eyes with the purest of love, when their little chubby hand caresses your breast as if to say thank you, and when she smiles at you and milk spills out everywhere! Best. Feeling. Ever.
You have reddish hair and blue eyes. I hope those characteristics don't change too much as you grow. If they do, that's okay too!
You may be close to 11 pounds and 22" tall.
You love when your brother holds you, which he asks to do almost every day. See?

You love to practice standing.
You are not yet a fan of playing on your tummy.
You make us smile.

Evie, you truly are such a perfect little blessing.

We love you.

Mama and Daddy

3 months of sibling love

I hope you're best friends forever.

rough weekend

Oy. We had a rough weekend. It started out okay...Friday night we hunkered in and spent time together as a family. Saturday B let me sleep in after Evie had been up almost every hour. After I woke up we decided to head to the music fest in town and it was way too crowded, way too hot, and way not fun. I love music. I love seeing live bands play for free and supporting our local music scene, which is pretty great. But after a few hours in 95* heat, it was time to go. We were beat. THEN B ended up with heat stroke later that night. We were all pretty miserable.

Sunday I woke up with the kids and I'm pretty sure I had some kind of food poisoning. My stomach is still aching. Evie also seemed to have an upset tummy and screamed for nearly an hour straight. I finally gave her a little tylenol and once that kicked in she crashed. She slept in my arms for almost 2 hours and any movement I made she's wake up in a fit again. It was heartbreaking. I hate when I can't soothe my baby. She wouldn't even nurse. Ugh

I was really hoping that we would have had a lot better time but it just wasn't one of those weekends. I barely took any photos!!

The good thing, however, is that I had two more sales come through the shop so I worked on those last night. BTW, BUY ONE GET ONE FREE right now til the end of August...I know you know someone with a baby girl! ;)

Tonight I start my class for CNA certification. Pretty stoked!

What's in a plan?

I am type-what-ever-is-not-A....anyone ever wonder what you are if you're not considered Type A? Well that's me. Type...B? Something like that. I am not a planner; I'm spontaneous. I am not well organized; I clean when the urge strikes. I make lists BUT then I never touch them again. So the way I look at "plans" is that they are more like goals. I "planned" on being married with two kids by the time I was 30 and I sure as heck met those goals. I planned to own a house someday and now we do. I plan to write more...and I will. So this plan to become a midwife is really going against the grain of my urge to just go with the flow. Sure, that's a good thing, I'm just not the best planner and this plan of mine, while the goal is and will always be the same, it keeps changing. I was planning on being in nursing school by January, but that is not happening. Maybe by next summer but quite possibly not until January 2015. Am I okay with that? I have to be. I'm not a college kid anymore. I have a million other reasons to take it slow, my family and work being two of those big reasons. So the plan is to be flexible, patient, and to keep on in that general direction.

I seriously cannot wait to be wearing scrubs everyday, tossing my hair up in a loose pony tail, snapping on the blue gloves and catching a baby!

Randoms...

• This weekend there is a huge music festival in town. Tonight is Ben Harper!
• Some of you have asked; I cannot donate my milk because I take medication other than vitamins.
• I need to figure out how to cut one of my pumping sessions out of my day. No clue how that's going to happen.
• Officially done with training on the new system, now I just need to apply it to really get it.
• I burnt my finger last night with pizza sauce! Youchies!
• B has a new job! Not sure if I have mentioned that yet but it has been going really well so far. YAY!
• I just read my medical record for Evie's birth because I really wanted to know exactly how fast I had gone at the end there:
• Sunday May 19th: 1055pm: 3cm, 70%
• Monday May 20th:
• 0330am: 4.5cm
• 0755am: 6cm, water broken
• 1120am: 6cm, 70%
• 1:35pm: 6cm, pit started
• 450pm: 7cm, 80%, begging for epi
• 518pm: 8cm
• 5:37pm: 10cm, crowning
• 5:39pm: birth!
• 3 minutes of delayed cord clamping
• 5:43pm: placenta delivered via Schultze presentation
• NOW that is cool! So I was in labor for a total of 20 hours, stuck at 6cm for 9 hours, Evie born in 2 minutes, 3 pushes. WOWOWOWOWOW!! So awesome.

throwback thursday

First hike with Logan: 3mo.

the last two days {currently edition}

Blogging is falling to the wayside. Now I totally get it when my favorite mama bloggers stop blogging after having a baby. It's not that it is totally impossible, but it is exhausting to think about. I don't want to just blab. I want to have some kind of direction so that when I look back on this time it is well worth reading. Writing is hard. Putting all the thoughts in my head down here in a way that makes me want to come back reading it later is hard. And that is why I have not been writing much. I am just too damn tired. In fact, right now I am so tired I really just can't sleep and, well, it's only 739pm so I really should stay up til 9 after Evie's last night feeding (until the wee hours anyway).

I'm spending a lot more time pumping, and I really hate it. I would hate it even if I had to do it once a day. Now I have to do it three times and while it is more than worth it, I don't think I'm ever going to enjoy it. Nothing compares to the real deal.

I am saving a ton of breast milk. Like, I don't really know what to do with my stash. I cannot donate it, unfortunately, so I may be using some space in a deep freezer for awhile.

I am going to get the hang of this whole working-going to school-breastfeeding-pumping-wife-and-mama thing down one of these days. It's crazy busy but I love it.

I am sharing way too much, too often. I think that being away from work and school has be defaulting to facebook and instagram wayyyy too much. I get it. I know it. It's just hard to get away from now! It's like a disease. Somehow, I am going to back away from all that stuff. How weird to say. Anyway...

***

And just like that, 12 weeks is gone. Evie is nearly 3 months old and I am back to work. What the what?! That's not even fair. Weird thing is, though, that I like working. And the anticipation of going back to work has been 1000x worse than actually going back. The last two days have been surprisingly good. I have to thank our amazing daycare provider for taking care of both my kids. I seriously have no worries or concerns when they are in her care. So far Evie has been a gem (duh!) and Logan and the other kids are just in love with her (double duh!). Those things make me happy and make going back to work easier. What's not easy is pumping three times a day, washing the parts, and trying to somehow fit in snacks and lunch without taking too much time away. Right now I am training on a new system so I have a little extra flexibility this week, but come next week I literally have 20 minutes to get to the nursing mothers room, set up, pump, tear down, clean up, rinse parts and be back. WHEW is all I have to say. And I'm out. Heading to bed. Thank you to the three or four of you who still stop by to check in on me and the fam.

What's a post without photos?!

Five years

On August 8th, B and I celebrated five years of marriage. Our wedding feels like it was yesterday! Such an incredible, beautiful day for us to become one and for the best party my parents have ever throw . Seriously, no one can outdo what they did and of course I'm bias. :)

According to Facebook, there are a ton of my friends with birthdays and anniversaries this month so cheers to everyone out there celebrating. Last night my parents took Logan for the night so we could go out for dinner and drinks. We had a great time! Evie hung out with us and smoozed everyone we encountered. Then we went home and watched a movie. Spending time together like that is so rare now. I loved it.

SPECIAL!! {evelyn's armoire} and 11 Weeks Old!

Hey there bloggy mamas and friends! I am running a special in the shop right. The next TEN orders will receive a FREE headband with their purchase!! That's right: buy one get one free! Shop and share!

Click the icon in the top right of the page. I can also take orders via PayPal with a valid email address. Email the shop with your request: evelynsarmoireshop@gmail.com

~~~

Oh my goodness! Evelyn is 11 weeks old and as of today, this is my last week home!! I am happy and sad. Bittersweet. I love being a working mom. It's hard, but so rewarding. I love the example I'm setting for my kids and the fulfillment I get from being out in the community, building my character and identity, growing and learning. I stopped by the hospital today to say hi. I have to have some intense 4 day training next week for a new system that launched while I was away. I'm kind of glad that I get to slowly work my way back into the swing of things. I ran into the children's minister from our church and she (Yes, SHE) was so delighted to see us! She is new to our church and has had some amazing messages so far for the kids. I told her I was coming back to work and starting school all within the next two weeks and she said that was amazing. I know it is, but hearing that encouragement from another working mom is huge. I also know that what I'm doing is a little crazy but it's now or never and honestly, I love school. I love learning and I love the opportunities that will be there for me once I have my RN. YAY

Today is the last day of World Breastfeeding Week so Evie and I stopped by our breastfeeding support group and we had a little party. I weighed and nursed her. She is 10.5 pounds now!! I was worried the last few days that my supply was tanking but it turns out that my over-supply is now regulating and she is going through a growth spurt. The 5oz I pumped last night is proof that we are still golden.

Evie has been sleeping in her crib for just over a week now. After a few days of sleepless nights (paci runs and loneliness), I began to give her a gentle, quiet bath, a little massage and lots of nursing a cuddles before bed. Then I swaddle her up, pop the paci in and start her white noise and she puts herself to sleep. I have to say, I have been so blessed with kids who sleep well! Baring a growth spurt or sickness, Evie has been sleeping 7ish hours. The last few nights she has been up more, but I could care less. More cuddles.

And here are some Eviegrams for your Tuesday afternoon:

twenty-nine forever

Yesterday, I celebrated. 365 more days of my twenties. I've seen some bloggers make a "thirty before thirty" list, like when I was 26 and thought "oh that is sooo faaaarrr away!". Ahem. No it's not. So now I am going to make my own 30 before 30 list and PRAY that it is something I will be able to cross everything off of.

But before I share the list, I must share my day. Evie has been *mostly* sleeping through the night but decided that the night before/of my birthday was a good night to wake up more. I'm taking that as a major compliment in that she just wanted to tell me many times how happy she was that it was my birthday.

So we nursed a lot. B woke up with Evie at 6 and let me sleep until 8. It was a beautiful day! We had breakfast outside on our patio and decided a morning hike would be perfect. We drove a few miles west and trekked our way along the "funny rocks", as Logan called them, to a keyhole in the rock formations that overlooked the west side of town.

After our hike we had lunch at home, I took a little nap, and then we headed downtown to our favorite brewery.

After a beer and playing dominos with Logan, we walked over to my parent's flat and had an amazing dinner. Baked ziti, bread, mandarine orange salad and wine.

This birthday was by far the best I've had in many years. Very little plans but they all surrounded my family. It was perfect.

(30 before 30 list will be in a separate post)

World Breastfeeding Week

Hello friends! I still have no clue why my blog is flooding your feeds with a bunch of spam. I have no control over it, even after changing passwords and such. I'm afraid the last thing I could do is change the URL but I really don't want to do that.

Anyway, today marks the first day of World Breastfeeding week and in honor of it, I have submitted a photo of Evie and me nursing. I love it and I love how beautiful the photo is! Want to help us win the contest? Please click HERE and it will take you to the facebook page where the photo is. Thank you!

This is the photo: