I'm a Mess

The last few days have been horrible. Lots of changes going on with work, which seem fine for now. I am just trying to roll with the punches there. Then there is school which, again, is going okay. Nutrition is a cake walk and Biology has been hard, but I redeemed myself this weekend with the lastest lab. Now I'm just studying for the lab exam and mid term.

Everything else is great....

And then the pain hit. It started over the weekend. I remember the sensations when I was pregnant with Logan and recall my OB simply saying it was round ligament pain. Just deal with it. So I did. It came and went, some days were worse than others. Around this time I learned that Logan had dropped quite a bit with his head engaged at a 0 station with some 30-40% effacement. No real concern for preterm labor, so I just dropped a day of work and before I knew it, I had a baby.

This time is 1000x worse. I cannot even think about how much pain I am in without crying. Not only was work more busy than usual (snow storms=laboring mamas), I was also walking around more. I am not an athletic person. Walking is my vice when it comes to staying fit, be it at work or at home. I am even more sedentary when pregnant  but thanks to working in a hospital, I have been able to walk often. Something over the weekend, however, has made everything shift and change. The pain is excruciating, radiating below my belly into my legs. I have no worries about the baby. She/he has been moving around perfectly. No other concerns for infection or illness. I am at a complete loss.

So I took today off, with a migraine in tow, and slept all morning. Woke up and stayed in bed. Simple tasks such as, you know, getting out of bed, going to the bathroom and walking around the house/down the stairs....so effing painful. I called my midwife, crying, that the pain is just unbearable  B cannot stand to see me like this and I cannot stand to have him watch me while he cannot do anything to help. Ice, warm bath/shower, support belt, chiro last week...nothing is helping. If anything, it's just getting worse. And I had to bitch. So this is my bitching. I know pregnancy is such a blessing. I love that my body is sustaining a perfect little life within. Every ache and pain is truly worth it...but I cannot just keep faking how I feel either. I smiled through the pain yesterday until the moment I slipped my badge through the time clock and stepped onto the elevator and completely lost it. I called B, desperate for some kind of comfort. I'm still desperate so, if you can, send up some prayers, thoughts, whatever you are most inclined to do for me. I have never been so miserably in pain before (outside of full on back labor).