no words

I cannot start these words without physically letting out a sigh so heavy I make myself nauseous. The shooting on Friday has been such an intense tragedy that I have not even been able to listen to, watch or read anything about it. I cannot look at the photos of those beautiful children, or the photos of their broken parents. I'm physically ill thinking about their loss and how they must feel. I have tried to ignore the news, to pretend it was just a nightmare that will go away, but it's not. I'm so devastated and only today, as in the last few moments, have I started to let my mind realize this is a nightmare, but not in my dreams. It really happened. I am so sad. I am sending all my love and prayers to the families. Knowing that this little life I created inside of me, and the one that is running around like a big boy, is one which could be taken away in an instant shakes me to my core. I have no words. No more words to write or say because there will never be the words to describe the hurt.