Point B/Plan B

>You hear people talk about always trying to get to Point B or figure out Plan B. For Logan, that is his goal in life and if you ask me, that is not a bad way to live! The kid has the strongest will and determination of any six month old I have ever come across and it is absolutely astounding. In the midst of waiting, fighting an infection off, fevers between 99 and 100 almost all day long for days on end, Logan baffles us with his bright smile, high energy, good appetite, and over-all outward health, that is is hard to believe there is anything wrong with him. In fact, I have stopped thinking that there is something wrong with him. There just is something not quite right, is all. I have full trust and faith in our doctors and hospitals that no matter what happens, no matter what the outcome, Logan will be fine. Trust me, it has taken me DAYS to say that without choking up and backing out on my word. My child is unwell people! It effing sucks not knowing all the answers, but Logan's sweet smile and playfulness tells me he is not in any dier danger. His ECHO went well today and we are waiting on those results. Thanks to everyone for your prayers and support. I could not hold it together this well without it. Our Plan B is right around the corner.

Heart Murmur

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The heart murmur seems to be the least of our worries right now. This is a prime example that if you have a guy feeling about something, go with it!

Logan's fevers mean something. He is sick. He has an infection of some kind. What kind of infection? How serious is it? We don't know. All we do know is that for 2 months now, his little body has been trying to tell us something and we are finally getting answers. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I was an absolute mess this afternoon when I got the call from his doctor. I took the afternoon off, as I have hardly been able to eat. I was shaking and nauseous. The hardest part wandering into the unknown. Wandering into a place we never wanted to be. The ideas his doctor has about the infection are serious ones. We pray God is bigger and better than those ideas and that Logan has a quick fix infection.

I will keep everyone posted as best I can.

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In the mean time, Logan has leaned to wave, clap, sit himself up from a laying position and army crawl, all within the last few days. We have a fighter on our hands, people! :)

Logan Has a Heart Murmur

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***Bare with me while I write about this long-winded summary of what we've been going through over the last few weeks and how it has finally come to a head.***

This whole thing began when I changed doctors when Logan was 2 months old. We checked out a clinic near our home, a place we could get to quickly if need be, and during our consultation, everything seemed fine. At his 2 month appointment, we waited almost 45 minutes to see the doc and then it was another 45 minutes before we got his vaccines because THEY FORGOT ABOUT US. Yeah, first red flag.

Moving on, I have contacted the clinic and taken Logan in for various things. Most recently at the end of July, I called concerned that Logan has had a low-grade fever (at that point) for a month. I did not think that was normal and the PA (Physicians Assistant) assured me it was just teething. At that point he was exactly 17 pounds. Fast forward about 10 days when we take him in for his 6 month well baby check up for some vacs and he weighs 15.2 pounds. He lost almost 2 pounds in less than 2 weeks. I was freaked, but the PA assured me this is not really normal but he seems fine so no biggie. Just bring him back for weight checks every week and they'll keep an eye on him. I gave her a serious side eye. He seems fine so no biggie? What the eff kind of diagnosis is that?! I knew in my heart there was NO WAY this was just teething. But what do I know? I'm not a doctor. I'm trusting these people to dive my son the best care possible and they are seriously sucking at it.

So I took him in last week and he gained 12oz and went in yesterday and he lost 2oz. Between those two visits, Logan's site on his leg where he had been vaccinated nearly a week prior all of a sudden became red and inflamed. Logan was freaking out and very uncomfortable. I called the after-hours line and NO ONE CALLED ME BACK!!! I was livid. There is absolutely no reason why I should not have received a call back. Thankfully, the swelling went down on it's own and after some tylenol, Logan felt better.

Yesterday, I was greeted not very kindly by a nurse, we weight Logan and I asked that she make sure the PA calls me back before the end of the day. At 5:15pm, I still had no call so I called them. No one helped me and the PA had no notes for them. That was it. I was done with them.

This morning, I called a different clinic, one which a few of my friends had recommended with good things to say, and we went in at 4:15. She spend lots of time with us and answered all my questions. I explained the tough time we had been having with the other clinic and this Pediatrician assured me that she would do everything to help. We weighed Logan and he was 16 pounds. I realize that every scale is different, but we are going off this last reading.

Then the pedi checked him out and listened to his heart. She heard a murmur right away and was concerned that no one else had detected it thus far. My heart sank. I knew what a heart murmur was. I had one that was anxiety-induced when I was in college which has since corrected itself and what could happen with Logan's, however we won't know anything until he has some tests done. The pedi is also quite concerned about the fevers. Though low-grade, this is not typical of teething AT ALL! I knew it. I KNEW that was not normal, but I let a stupid PA convince me otherwise.

So we are addressing a few issues. Logan had blood work done tonight at the hospital and it was the most terrible thing I have ever witnessed a little baby go through. I had to hold him while the vampires tried to hit his thin-as-a-thread vein. These will help us out with both the fever issues and possibly the the murmur. Logan's ECHO is scheduled for Monday morning at 9:30am.

I know in my heart that Logan is okay, but I also know that these little things can mean big things which is why we are doing the testing. This is just another test from God. I know that he knows what's best but I would be lying if I did not feel like throwing up from how nervous I am and how much the anticipation of testing is driving me crazy. Any questions? Just ask. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers.

First Successful E-mealz Dish

>Readers, I have been so excited to share this with you! Today, my groceries were delivered to my door and I had enough to make 8 dinner meals and lunches for TWO WHOLE WEEKS! I am so excited. So tonight, while Logan monched on some puffs in his high chair, I made my first e-mealz dish. It does not have a creative name, however, it LOOKED and TASTED amazing! So amazing, in fact, I did not have time to snap pictures.

I diced and cooked small pieces of chicken, boiled 9oz of cheese tortellini, chopped and sauteed zucchini with tomatoes and mixed in some basil-pesto goodness. I let the veggies simmer with the chicken and tortellini for awhile to get them nice and tender. I should have added more salt and pepper at the time, but did so after the fact. I assumed the basil-pesto mix would be enough flavor but it wasn't.

I toasted some french bread in the over and wa-la! It was so easy and once it was all simmering, I was able to play with Logan until B got home from work. It has been ages since the last time he walked into the house with yummy smells coming out of it and no waiting for dinner to be prepared. I felt like such a good wife! I feel like this is the start of a wonderful thing and I will just have to must up the motivation to do this every night after working 8 hours and wrangling Logan. Next up: Slow-cooked BBQ pork chops with potatoes.

Domestic Discipline or Intimate Negotiations?

>Get ready for this: I'm about to open a whopping huge can of worms. I would first like to say that maybe I am quite ignorant to not think this sort of thing happens OR I just happen to live under a rock. Either way, I HAD NO IDEA that there was such a thing a Domestic Discipline and exactly what that entails. To me, there was either a happy, abuse-free marriage, or there wasn't. You or your hubby touch each other in an unloving way? Abuse. Plain and simple. But why am I bringing this up? Well, it must have something to do with my freakish obsession with society and how people act, think, believe, and practice a laundry list of different things.

Before I go any further, I want to be clear that I am in no way meaning to judge or disrespect anyone. That said, there is a chance that is how this is going to sound. As I said above, if you are being physically abused or abusive, that in no way is acceptable. Furthermore (and totally unrelated), we (B and I) do NOT believe in spanking. K, let's move on.

Let's start with a definition: (credit)

A Domestic Discipline (DD) marriage is one in which one partner is given authority over the other, and has the means to back up that authority, usually by spanking. The application and practise of DD in each marriage is as unique as the individuals who make up that marriage.

Now, if you're anything like me and B, we heard this (or rather, I read it from another blog) and our jaws dropped in a somewhat mocking manner. Spanking?? Your wife?? Really?? I mean, is that even allowed? I know that the lines turn grey here because it is considered okay for parents to discipline their children with spankings. Okay, I get it. However, every blog I have recently come across where woman are the victims (YES, I said VICTIMS!) of this kind of behavior, they state why they are being spanked, with what, for how long and how much pain they are in afterwards, both physically and emotionally. Let me just tell you that my whole heart broke for these woman. To think that this is an OKAY way to have a marriage with someone who is supposed to love you and treat you as an equal is just not cool. So sure, B and I joked about it all weekend saying, "Oh man B, I screwed up. Looks like you're gonna have to spank me!" And we'd chase each other around the house playfully.

The sad part is, there is nothing playful about this. If this is something that is apart of your intimate relationship, great. Keep it to yourself. I don't want to hear or read about it. But as a form of punishment? I don't think so! So what are these women being punished for?

• Swearing, back-talking, disrespect, etc.: mouth washed out with hot sauce or soap
• Doing something dangerous, making plans without permission, spending more than X amount of money without permission, speeding/getting a ticket/traffic warning, etc: Time out in the corner (sometimes naked), letter of apology, lecture and lastly, spanking (bare bottom, bare hand "warm up", then to the paddle, belt, switch for 15-50 (they loose count!) spanks!!!)

If you ask me, it just sounds like good 'ol DH just needs a fun excuse to get the switch out on the wifey, show his male dominance, control and head-of-household manly-man status. Also, many of these woman (and guests posts from DH) make the excuse more than once that this is no way is "like how you treat a 5 year old". Ummm last I checked that is exactly how five year olds are treated when they misbehave! (minus the spanking in our house). Go ahead and take that in for a moment. I'll wait....

In my efforts to respect the blogs of the woman whom I have been reading about, there are no links to their blogs. However, if you're interested I am sure that Google can help you out. The whole point of this post is to share how B and I DO NOT run our household, rather we have Intimate Negotiations. We might raise our voices, swear, back-talk, get cranky and disrespectful, and so on, but we always work it out. We want the best for each other. We are a team and nothing less. If you or someone you know is in this kind of situation, I am curious to know more. I want to understand why this is so acceptable with a growing number of newlyweds. Help me out here and thanks for reading!

Happy Monday!

Huge Money-Saver

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So it's no secret that we need to save every penny we can, where possible. B has been listening to Dave Ramsey, the financial help guy with a nice sense of humor. We have been skimping HUGE at home when it comes to meals, which seems like the worst place to skimp, but lets be honest. Food is expensive and I suck at cooking. However, if I could find a method to shop effectivly for several meal options, I would try to cook healthier and more often for my family. Plus, Logan is on solids now and I want to start getting him to taste real people food (cooked egg yolk, chicken, etc.). I was over on Marital Bless and Leah was talking about a new way they have been cooking and saving money. It's called e-mealz.com. I checked the site out and was instantly intrigued so I read as much as I could and learned that Dave Ramsey himself highly recommends this site. Done deal. I created my membership and printed out last weeks meals and this weeks. Then, I realized, when the hell am I going to make it to the store?

Unless I shop on a Sunday (our only family day of the week) or Mondays I will not make it to the store for the week. Our nights, once we're home from work and getting Logan ready for bed, are just so jam-packed and we're exhausted. Going to the store is the last thing either of us want to do. Our local grocers have a delivery service but I had never tried it before. I went on line super early this morning with my e-mealz.com shopping lists in hand and selected everything I needed, including a few extras not pertaining to the meals. I had never shopped like this before, meaning I have never gathering a list of incrediants needed for specific meals and shopped for them. I know: shocking. Within a half hour (a shopping trip with Logan, waiting for check out, and lugging everything up 3 flights of stairs takes OVER and hour easily) the shopping was done and I spent LESS THAN $100!!! I am so impressed. I just hope that I can be organized over the next few weeks to create each meal and enjoy it. If any of you decided to try this out, let me know how it works for ya!!

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Last night, we took Logan to his first concert. We have a local music, food and fun fest going on this weekend and a few of our favorite local bands are playing so last night we took Logan downtown and as you can see from the pictures, he had a great time, as did we!

2 Years of Bliss

>August 8, 2010

I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you (the day I came over for a visit, you asked me to coffee, and I drove off with a perma smile)
Yes there’s a chance that I’ve fallen quite hard over you. (the day you kissed me in ESPN Zone and I beat you bowling)
I’ve seen the paths that your eyes wander down (ha, up and down, my friend!)
I want to come too… (yeah, you’re pretty damn cute too!)

I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you (no, I KNOW I’ve fallen for you)

No one understands me quite like you do (no one, no one but you)
Through all of the shadowy corners of me (light and dark, good and bad)

I never knew just what it was
About this old coffee shop I love so much
All of the while I never knew…
Ahh…

I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you
Yes there’s a chance that I’ve fallen quite hard over you.
I’ve seen the waters that make your eyes shine
now I’m shining too

Because, oh because
I’ve fallen quite hard over you (harder than ever, and I keep falling)

If I didn’t know you, I’d rather not know
If I couldn’t have you, I’d rather be alone (I could never live without you in my life)

I never knew just what it was (those eyes, smile, touch, kiss, everything!)
About this old coffee shop I love so much
All of the while, I never knew
I never knew just what it was
About this old coffee shop I love so much
All of the while, I never knew

All of the while, All of the while it was you
You…
You…
You…

Happy Two Years to my most favorite person in the entire world. You rock it, B, each and every day. Here’s to two-hundred more!

Kisses.

(lyrics by Landon Pigg)