I'm staring at the curser here trying to come up with a suitable title and I just can't seem to come up with one. Tuesday, I see the gastroentinologist regarding my on-going stomach issues. I wish I could say it's become better and less frequent but that's not true. The pains seem to come and go. I can go 3-5 days without any episodes, as I call it, and start feeling as if whatever is effecting me is subsiding and resolving. Then something sets me off. The pains return. The cramping increases and just the thought of eating hurts. In fact, I become so hungry the pains increase and I just "give-in".

After nearly two months of thinking more consciously about what I'm eating and if there's an ingredient in it that might upset my stomach, there seems to be no clear answers. Not any one thing makes it all go away. Avoiding something like whey, which is in just about everything (processed, restaurants, chips, etc), is hard enough and I can tell that it helps, but it's not the solution.

Now that I work in a hospital I feel like I am aware of more than I should be. I see so many things happen to people every day, good or bad, and the outcomes are uncertain. Just yesterday a mama was rushed for an emergency c-section and nearly bled out. The doctor had to do a total hysterectomy to save her life and stop the bleeding. Baby was fine and after some blood transfusions and lots of rest, mom should be fine too. All this to say I feel so aware of what will most likely happen on Tuesday. I'll see the doctor and tell her all about my history, the pains, diet, etc and then she'll check me out and order more tests. More blood work, maybe an ultrasound, endoscopy and the dreaded colonoscopy. UGH!! I'm nervous. Only because I've never been referred to a specialist for anything and the relief of finding some answers is certainly encouraging, but to go through all this and maybe not get any answers would be just as frustrating. I don't know if I will have all or any of those procedures, but chatting about it certainly has not gotten me anywhere. I'm certain the anticipation of all this may be worse than actually going through with it.