words

(our front window covered in ice!)

• I have a cough that will not go away. I think I'm on day five or six. At night, I feel like I'm dying from all the coughing and no amount of nyquil or tylenol cold medicine can keep it at bay (not taken together, obviously).


• I'm drinking coffee, yo. For the first time in over three months I am sipping on a caramel latte. I'm hoping all the meds I'm on will allow me to enjoy it without pains.


• I've been pain-free for FOUR WHOLE DAYS NOW!! Thank goodness for meds! (I'm not usually all about meds. In fact, I've avoided taking them for some time now and boy am I glad I changed my mind!).


• B is super sick. Fever, aches, and overall yuck. Taking care of him and Logan and our house all while I'm not up to par either is soooo hard! I'm pretty sure that if I put my head down I'd pass out right here. Hence, another reason for coffee.


• Logan did not puke again on Saturday so we are 100% positive it was motion sickness. I had it when I was younger on long, windy car rides.


• It' is BELOW 5* outside right now. SO COLD!


• I have something really cool brewing in my head about a charity I want to start contributing to. As soon as I'm able, I will share those deets with everyone because I will need your help as well! More on this later (hopefully by Jan 1st).


• A new post will be up soon on my midwife blog about losing all the fear you have about pregnancy and childbirth so that you can *try* to get the exact birth you and your partner are hoping for. I'll post a link when that's up.


• And that's all. Have a great Tuesday friends!

that one time...at the movie theater

A few months ago I wanted to take Logan to see The Lion King in the movie theater. I didn't for several reasons, the biggest being I wanted B to come with us and it just never worked out. So instead, B bought the movie and we've watched it at home.

For Christmas, I was given the choice of picking from five options what I wanted from my employer. I picked the family day at the movies. They rent out the entire theater, pass out snacks, have balloon animals, family pictures, hot chocolate...we couldn't wait! Yesterday morning we got up early to find six new inches of snow outside. Perfect movie day weather! We all dressed semi-nice for the family photos and off we went.  We arrived just as the doors opened, grabbed our snacks and popcorn, and headed to the theater. Happy Feet 2 was the movie I picked for us. Logan still has a very short attention span for TV and movies and I knew he'd last at least a little while with this one. We were so excited. I cannot say that enough because what happened was so not on our radar...

We settled into our seats and B went to go get us hot chocolate. I stood in line with Logan so he could get a monkey from the balloon animals lady. He was being so good. All morning, though, he'd refused to eat. I offered applesauce, which he had two bites of, and two animal crackers along with lots of pedilite juice. B returned with our drinks and the trailers began. We got a booster seat for Logan and he was sitting so proud in his chair. He loved moving his drink around to the cup holders and was in a great mood. He sat on my lap for a few trailers and then I moved him to his seat just before the movie started.

Not 10 seconds later I heard him coughing. He's had a cough for a week or two now, nothing serious. And it happened. His cough turned into full out puking. He puked all over himself, into my purse, all over me and B and the stairs as I was getting out of the theater as fast as humanly possible. He finished up in the trash can and I almost started crying. B went to tell someone and I took Logan to the bathroom. I stripped him down to his diaper and a white tee he had on under his sweater which was still dry. I rinsed his clothes out in the sink and put everything into a trash bag. B went back into the theater to gather our things and when he came out I asked how bad it was. He said the guy in front of us, whom Logan had barely missed puking on (how, I honestly don't know!) and he was laughing at the movie. The smell though, oh man the smell! It was so rank. Ugh...

B went and pulled the car up. Remember how I said it had been snowing? Well it had stopped but it was still barely 25* outside and Logan was half naked. I wrapped him up in my coat, which was vomit-free, and loaded him into the car. And that was the beginning of a different kind of family day. We waited in anticipation to see if Logan was truly sick and if we'd be cleaning up puke the rest of the day. Thankfully, it was just a fluke. We actually think Logan got motion sickness from all the movement on the screen, the loud speakers, etc. Needless to say, we will not be going back to the theater with Logan for a long time.

getting started

Today was my first official day without gluten. What's amazing is how aware of food I have become and I'd be lying if I said this did not cause me some major stress and anxiety. The last few days I spent scowering sites about becoming gluten-free, how to shop, printing out lists of foods not to eat, foods to eat...I mean my head was spinning in this mess of changes

Normally I welcome change with open arms. This change, however, is asking me to divorce all the foods I love. I have not cried yet. Logan has been fighting a cold and that distraction has prevented me from loosing my shit all over the place. BUT, I'm sure it's coming. The worst part I'm sure is not cheating. Our hospital makes the most amazing cookies everyday and it's all I can do not to eat one!!

One of the blogs I stumbled upon made it very clear NOT to do two things: do not make a list of all the things you CAN"T eat, rather a list of the things you can and do not go out and buy every gluten-free product on the selves, especially at an expensive store, like Whole Foods. I had already started doing the first, making a list. My memory is not what it used to be pre-baby and it will take me time to remember what's okay and what's not. Shopping was an easy one. Our grocery store has gluten-free foods on every aisle. If you're looking for GF pasta, then it will be on the pasta aisle. I like that AND I'm sure it's a little cheaper than the organic markets. Still, it's a few extra dollars.

Logan and I headed to the store this morning because the only thing I could eat in the house was eggs and I needed more! Don't forget, I am also avoiding dairy which is what all the GF sites say is just fine. Well, for me it's not. Shopping went well and I only picked up a few things like cereal and pasta, staples in our home.

Today I only had some pains in the afternoon after a nap. This is what I ate:

• tuna mixed with relish, mayo, salt and pepper with a pickle (no crackers or bread)


• avocado with salt and pepper


• a piece of mint gum


• mashed red potatoes with white gravy


• GF 7 layer bar

So far, no pains tonight. I really just think it's a fluke BUT if no pains is from me eating GF, then PRAISE THE LORD!

a troubled tummy

I have not received my official diagnosis from the (lack of) findings from both of my procedures, however, I did read my pathology report. Just call it one of those perks of working in a hospital. As I said before, my visual reports were good: healthy and normal. No ulcers, polyps, cancer, etc...which is all good news. And, honestly, what I expected.

It's been over two weeks now and that "7-10 days" for results rule is out the window. So I read my own report, which is not breaking any rules (goodie-two-shoes here!), and the only diagnosis I found among all the medical terminology is that I do have some form of GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease). It's like acid reflux, but worse and in my case most likely chronic. Again, I have not been given my official diagnosis. This is just what I know from the report. More good things: I don't have Celiacs, Chrons, of H-Pilori bacteria, among other stomach-related diseases. I'm so glad for that.

BUT.

I still want an answer!! GERD is not curable, rather, it's managed by very strict dietary changes. I also suspect IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) or it's evil twin Irritable Bowel Disorder (IBD). I'm not sure which is which and what the differences are, but neither are curable either. Changing the way I eat along side medication (at least for now-until the pains subside) is what I'm going to have to do. There is still a chance my doctor could call on Tuesday and say none of the above and diagnose me with something else, or nothing at all and continue tests. I'd really like an of my gallbladder, just to be sure.

So this is where we sit. I've been mentally preparing myself for major dietary changes and when I say major I mean MONUMENTAL. 98% of the things I eat now are irritants. Irritants of GERD, IBS, IBD, and so on...nothing I've been eating as been good for me, even if you and everyone else might consider it healthy (ie: a salad).

Here's a taste (pun very much intended!) of what I have to avoid. And just for kicks I will also be eliminating gluten. Why? Well...why not?? I know a hand full of people who do not have celiac but some other ailment and going gluten free has improved their issue.

No...

• caffeine


• chocolate


• alcohol


• soda


• acidic foods


• spicy foods


• milk, cheese, yogurt, etc (no lactose, period.)


• wheat/barely


• fermentable foods (watermellon, avocado...)


• sugars (glucose...)


• anything deep-fried/breaded (french fries, boneless chicken wings)

Doesn't that look like fun!! :::enter sarcasm:::

Thank you, my dear readers, for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers through this whole mess. I truly hope that once I get things under control that I will be a much better, happier person and blogger. I'm not inspired to write about anything else for now. Until then I will keep you all updated on how things turn out. There is always a chance that none of this will work and that something else is going on. I hope that's not the case.

Have a great weekend!

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In a Nut Shell

I froze yogurt-covered strawberries and have yet to try one.

B and I had ourselves a date night on Sunday.

We saw Breaking Dawn and I thought it was great.

We ate at my favorite Italian restaurant.

I had butter-nut squash ravioliis, my fave.

Logan learned how to raise his left eye brow (video to come).

I have not caught Tulo on the couch in over a week.

I finally caught up with my cousin on the phone. I love her.

My stomach still hurts.

I'm still waiting for results.

I love Thanksgiving.

I made Paula Dean's Pumpkin Butter Cake (post on that soon, too!).

B is going back to school soon!

Logan loves opening and closing my prayer box around my neck.

I'm excited for crafty-time at MOPS tomorrow.

I have a lot of laundry to fold.

I probably won't fold it.

I'm thankful for all of you, my dear readers, for sticking with me.

21 Questions is taking a break this week so I need someone for next Thursday...otherwise I'm going to pick on someone. ;)

Have a safe, fun Thanksgiving!! (to all my Canadian readers-just have a great week!)

the devil car

I do not normally associate inanimate objects with emotions, but we are certain that a car we had for nearly seven months was indeed possessed. I say this with a half-joking manner because I only half believe it myself.

For almost a year B and I managed as a one car family without too many issues. When I got my new job, there was no way we could operate without another car. My schedule varies and working around B's solid schedule would have been very difficult. So we started to skim craigslist ads. We even went to Denver for a day to check out used cars and came up without any luck. Our budget was very small. We were only seeking a town car that was safe for little man.

I was working one of my last shifts at my previous jobs when B called to announce he had found a car, test-drove it, and bought it. I had no idea what kind of clunker he was bringing home. I was just relived that we now had two forms of transportation! He drove the 1987 blue-green Volvo Wagon over to my work and explained all of the things he had to fix: the radiator and water pump were the biggies. But, B said, I know what I'm doing! I put all my unwavering trust into my husband. He has worked on many cars and I truly believed he knew what he was doing. However, the car had other ideas.

B worked every night to fix the radiator and water pump and three weeks later it was still sitting in the parking lot. I finally put my no-ifs-ands-or-buts face on and said we're taking it to the shop. Period. Aside from those two major issues, there were also some electrical glitches. If the battery had not been warmed up it and we needed to use the head lights, the dash lights would not work.

Long story short (or not!), we dropped $300 to have the bigger repairs done and without a second thought conceded that the car was fine. Sure, the car was fine, but it's presence in our lives brought so much negativity. The deal on our house fell through, I was scammed, Tulo had a terrible accident, and we were broke. All this within five months of the car entering our lives. Fast forward to Halloween weekend. My good friend Amy is 30 weeks pregnant and she was concerned about some pains she was having. Her husband was working and it was a Sunday so I offered to take her to urgent care. We decided to stop by her house to grab a stroller since mine was in B's car. As we turned into her neighborhood the car over-heated and died. I called B and he said he was on his way but to pour water into the radiator while we waited for him. Amy's concern was not an emergency so it was okay that we had to wait 20 minutes for B to arrive. He stayed with the car while I took Amy to urgent care.

B discovered a leak. After the car cooled down he was able to get it home before it over-heated again. I put Logan down for a nap and it finally occurred to both of us: this car is really bad mojo! Without a second thought we decided to sell the car for whatever someone might be willing to pay and then, somehow, buy another car. We had no idea how we were going to buy another car but we had to, even if it meant borrowing money, which we hate doing.

Halloween night after all the fun I placed an ad on craigslist. I received a few responses and wanted to wait another day before responding. On Tuesday, I sent an email out to my coworkers asking if anyone had a car they needed to sell. I knew that buying a car from someone I knew was safer than online. I knew they'd be honest with me about any ongoing issues, etc. In the mean time, B was setting up a time for a guy to come over and buy the car for parts. That was all it was good for.

That afternoon I received a response from someone who wanted to give us her car. She said it had not been on the road for year, but was in otherwise good condition. We needed to buy a battery and get the brakes checked. That was it. I was in tears! I could not believe how selfless this person was to give us her car! We offered to pay her something but she would not take it, stating that she was going to donate it anyway and was glad she could help us out. The devil car, as we started to call it, was not even out of our sight before good things started to happen. I got a call about the scam-I am going to get a refund! We had no idea if Tulo would run again-he ran through the park with Butte a few nights ago! My insurance was not going to pay for my procedures until they received a statement from my previous insurance that it was not a pre-existing condition-done and done! (while I've had stomach issues for a long time, it's been undiagnosed the entire time).

Wednesday night was a blizzard so we waited until Thursday afternoon to pick up the car. We took care of the title at the court house and again, I cried in my car on the way home. I always feel so blessed by everything God has given me, but I could not wrap my head around how much gratitude I had for this woman GIVING us her car. I'm still in shock. I just know that when we get the chance some day we will pay all these good deeds forward. There is no other way to spread love and joy in this world than by doing just that.

The devil car meant so little to me that I never even took a picture. The car we were given needs a major bath. I've taken it through the car wash and nothing came off!

I pray that in this season of giving that no matter what the need, you seek to help someone out, big or small, just to keep spreading that love a joy.