Bedsharing

Dear Logan,

In less than a month you are going to turn three years old and I'm just in awe of you. I'm in awe of what a sweet, smart, determined little boy you have turned into in just three short years. My life has never been richer and more exciting and I thank you from the deepest part of my heart for your love and presence.

Lately, we have been sharing our bed with you. With your little baby brother or sister swimming around in my belly, I've been laying down a lot more. Daddy fixed up a nice TV and put it in our room. Almost every night, we cuddle up and watch one of your favorite shows which is either Charlotte's Web (the "pig" movie) or Curious George. Sometimes I will watch a movie while you play your Elmo game on my iPad. And on REALLY lazy and special nights, we lay a towel down over the bed and enjoy dinner together. In our bed. All three of us. I must say, this has been the cherry for most of my evenings.

Over the last few weeks, you have decided that your pull up is no longer necessary at night. You purse your lips at us and say you don't want to wear a pull up and we have been very proud of you for making this decision on your own. But even more, we are proud that you are making it through the night without an accident. Last night, your little body woke you up, you went potty and then came and climbed into bed with me. I didn't look at the clock. You didn't say a word. We just snuggled in close and fell back to sleep. I thought it had been much later in the morning than it actually was, because you slept with us most of the night. I was sandwiched between you and your daddy. Sometimes you would push my arm off your tummy so you could roll over onto your belly and take up 3/4 of my pillow. But that was okay. It was perfect, actually.

I cherish moments like this. I don't care about the habit it might be forming. I just want to keep you the way you are for as long as I can. And before we know it, you're going to have a new sibling who will take away my undivided attention from you. That thought alone makes my heart break a little, but I know that I could never love you less. In fact, I will love you more the moment you meet him or her.

Logan, thank you for making me a mama. You're incredible.

Love,

Mama