>Space Baby

>

Our weekend was rather eventful, minus having a baby. On Saturday night we got word from our good friends in a band that they got us on the guest list so come on down! They did not go on until 11pm so we hung out at home, I worked on the project I mentioned in my previous post, took a bath and actually put some make up on. The show was at a small venue down town with great acoustics and lighting. The drinks specials are always good. B got rum and coke for $3 and I had coke for just $1 with free refills. Side note: I started to feel really light headed and needed the sugar boost. But I feel the same way today so, mommies out there, is this a sign of labor to come?? Anyway, we found some other friends there and visited with them and soon enough The Northern Way hit the stage. I LOVE local music and I LOVE this band even more. Long story short: I have been a fan of this band for nearly 5 years now. I have seen them change members and even their name and now they are the perfect mesh if musical styles, lyrics, and personalities. Our friends are the drummer (my ex) and the lead singer (B's friend from high school whom we had in common BEFORE ever meeting or dating). The show was great and I had some nice strong contractions that lead to, well, nothing. We got home late and went to bed. I was up too early. My body clock just wakes me up at 8 no matter what time I go to bed the night before so I made waffles and ate breakfast in bed. We watched the Aussie Open and played with he dogs. Then I got this crazy idea that B should paint on my belly before my belly is no more. He is a GREAT artist and knew he would do an awesome job so he got his acrylics out and set up shop next to our bed. In an hours time, we had this:

SPACE BABY!!

Once I got up and moved around, the paint really started to irritate my skin. I was trying so hard not to itch it. Then I started to feel light headed again and nearly passed out in the pantry. I ate some lunch, watched some XGames and took a long nap. Now B and I are hanging out on the couch not doing much other than waiting. We are having a February baby people! I am actually happy about that as I am not the biggest fan of odd numbers. Weird, I know.

>How Blogging Has Changed my Life

>

First of all, thank you Tabitha for a GREAT writing prompt! It is only a nice little kicker that this gets me an entry in your giveaway, but reflecting on this NOW could not be more perfect timing.

I have been blogging now for a little over a year and a half. Prior to that, I did not do any other form of journaling. I started my blog for a few reasons:

1) I wanted to keep track of our early married years, years which I was sure to forget as time went on and everyone knows the first year of marriage is VERY exciting.

2) I had a horrible experience on craigslist and stumbled upon a blog that noted the exact same experience, same names and everything. That was a sign.

3) I am a writer. I love writing and what better way to do it than through a blog, something that is casual and not concerned with perfect grammar or grades.

All this to say that blogging has become a huge outlet for me to keep track of our life events, big or small, and look back at them with deep nostalgia. How is it changing me? Now that we are expecting our first child, I have even more reasons to write about the pregnancy and soon (VERY SOON!!) our new son. I enjoy sharing these thoughts with a select few of you and won't lie that the comments make me melt a little too. So a few weeks ago I was hanging out with our new activities director at work and she mentioned an art project she was going to get the residents interested in and this is what it was:

Take an old book, one which you are no longer reading/enjoying and turn it into a collage of your life. This had my head spinning! I immediately found a book to use and knew exactly what I was going to do. I wanted to take all of my posts on here pregnancy related and put they into this book. A true expression of my first pregnancy in my own words. Yesterday I started to cut out words and pictures from parenting magazines and last night I was copy and pasting my entries into a Pages document. (This project has kept me preoccupied enough to not think so much about WHEN baby boy will be here).

The point?? Had I not started this blog and kept up on it so well, I would not have those entires to use and place into this creative journal I am putting into something tangible. I am not necessarily doing it for my child. I would not expect Logan to be interested in all the things that I was going through while pregnant with him, but maybe there are a few he will enjoy someday. I am doing this for me. I know that once we have more than one child, I will not be able to do this with every baby. My time will be with them. Becoming pregnant and becoming a mother has been my biggest dream come true and I NEED it to be something I can look back on. I fear sometimes that one day, the internet might just disappear and all these entries and words and emotions will be gone. Blogging has changed my life in that I am a better writer, I have a way to express how I am feeling at any given time, and I have memories of the smallest and biggest moments of our married life to date and that is priceless.

>NO Baby Yet

>

You bloggies are so anxious I love it! It just makes me feel better that I am not the only one sitting around thinking "When the HELL is this going to happen?!"

So no baby yet. But, I am having some signs of early labor, or I am just making them up in my head. Either way I will keep you posted so no worries. For now, nothing hurts and as far as I can tell, no contractions. So once the pain and contrax kick in well then I will know for sure.

I think it is also worth mentioning (maybe for the second time??) that B and his brother were both born on a full moon and well that, ladies, is TOMORROW!!! So hoping for this weekend!!

Love and hugs,

S.

(Ps. I am not as depressed today as I was the other day during my vent. B took me out to Applebees last night with some friends and it cheered me right up.)

>I've just got to pout about it...

>

Why is everyone ELSE having their babies and NOT ME?!

Oh no, don't get me wrong here. I am SO happy for those who have welcomed their little and that they are healthy and doing well!

I just want it to be MY TURN!!

Com'n baby! Bust my bag of waters! Bring on the contractions! Make me wish I wasn't writing this silly post so I can hold and kiss your sweet cheeks! K?

I just love you so much, baby boy. Mama wants to meet you! Along with the rest of our family and friends!

::twiddling thumbs::

>39 weeks!!!!

>

How Far Along? 39 weeks
Total Weight Gained/Loss? 40ish
Maternity Clothes: I rarely wear pants anymore when I am at home. I don't think B minds much... ;) And I sleep in his T shirts now.
Sleep? the last few nights have been okay. had some strong contractions as I was drifting off last night and was able to fall asleep so obviously not anything to write home about
Best Moment of the Week? my last day of work was on Saturday! So glad to be home resting and waiting now.
Movement- lately he swivels back and forth to get his feet in my ribs. Oh and he gets hiccups at least 2-3 times a day.
Food Craving- still craving harvest squash raviolis. B promised that if our babe was not here by next Monday then he will take me out to have them. They are expensive so yeah, I have to wait. Grrr
Food aversions- none
Morning sickness?- you know, I have been nauseous on and off several mornings over the past week. not sure what that is all about...
Gender- Wolverine
Labor Signs- Stronger contractions. I thought I would for sure have a baby this weekend with Friday's stint of constant contractions but then nothing on Saturday. Puhy.
Belly Button- out
What I miss- my body. ready to get it back.
What I'm looking forward to-going into labor!! DUH!
Weekly Wisdom- B said that if I keep hoping for it to happen then it's like I am waiting to fall asleep and I can't because I keep thinking about wanting to fall asleep and it keeps me awake. Ok B.
Milestones- 7 days until our DD!

No pic this week due to the camera being packed already. I don't even want to risk forgetting it. I am trying to let my mind relax about thinking constantly when is this going to happen. How weird is it that I am PRAYING FOR PAIN?! This fact just dawned on me last night. Not very sane. K, back to waiting and walking.

>Future Goals

>

I am writing this down before I forget, before a baby boy occupies my mind and my time that I neglect to write down some future goals I must remember and stay focused on.

For whatever reason, over the last few weeks I have really been reflecting on my life and more specifically, what I am going to do with it. My biggest dream come true is about to happen. I am becoming a mother. I have never wanted or thought of something more for the better part of my life. When I was a child, my mother ran a home day care. I have several younger cousins and started to babysit when I was 12. Taking care of children, nurturing their little minds and kissing tears away is something I have been doing for years. I prayed that I would someday be a mother with a man who is more of my best friend than a husband. I love him to death and bring a child into the world with him is that giant cherry on top. I seriously could not be happier.

Through most of college and even post college I have thought about becoming a teacher. But why? Why would I be good at teaching? Well, I am great with kids. That's and easy one. I love reading and writing and believe kids need someone patient enough to teach them how to do it properly. Oh but then there's that: patience. I am so not a patient person. I mean, I can be, but I am a let's-get-the-show-on-the-road kinda girl. For other reasons, I just did not get my teaching license before graduating and it makes me wonder why. Then last spring when I was thinking, okay I am ready to do this, I applied for school again, was accepted and just waiting on my acceptance into the teaching program when we found out about our mister. I believe everything happens for a reason and God had something else in mind for us. So my point is that as I have made small attempts to get my teaching license, there have been obstacles that have come about and it makes me wonder why. In my reflections, I have determined that hey, maybe I am not meant to be a teacher. I don't really think it is what I want to do as a career for the rest of my life. I feel guilty about this, because I think a huge part of my pursuit of the certification was for my parents, to please them and make them happy. This may have just been something almost subconscious that I have been thinking and now that I am confronting it, that is a terrible reason to get into a certain career. If I am going to do that, it is going to be for me, because I want to and honestly, I don't want to teach.

So I am becoming a mother, now what? I will have to go back to work, even if it is just part time, once my leave is over. I am totally okay with that but I am not going to be a receptionist forever. I need something WAY more stimulating and fun in my life. I know a child will be perfect for that, but financially I will have to work. At least for now. Now the question is, what do I want to do, aside from being a mom? I know I will want something more because that is just my personality. This is what I have been mulling over for several weeks now.

My new favorite show on TV is House Hunters. Recently, a young couple bought a beautiful place in Costa Rica to open a bed and breakfast. So inspiring! I have thought of opening a bed and breakfast for YEARS, but never really thought it was something that could be done. Yes, me of little faith. Well their story has inspired me so much that I can't even stop thinking about the idea. This is something we would be doing, hopefully, over the next 5 years or so. But I am VERY serious about this now. On thing I have always wanted, which I am sure everyone wants, is to not have to answer to someone. I hate feeling like I have made a mistake and being a disappointment. In guest services, this is something that happens often and is not what I am talking about. I am talking about a boss, someone who works above you telling you what you can and cannot do. I want to be my own boss.

Here is my five year plan:

1) Become a mother (check!)

2) Own our own home.

3) Find the perfect place for a bed and breakfast in our area and purchase it.

4) Begin necessary steps to open bed and breakfast.

5) Build our home on the same land as the bed and breakfast (this is on the 8 year plan).

6) Be my own boss!!

I love it! I have always thought about opening some kind of family business and I really believe this is it. I know that there are a million things that will happen between now and then, but knowing what I want to do is such a relief. I feel great!

Now, onto giving birth....

>The End is Near

>

The last few days have been quite the rollercoaster. Cramping started Thursday night and was mild enough that I actually slept pretty well and when I woke up Friday morning, I did not notice them. Well shortly after arriving at work, I started to have some more cramping. Again, nothing really painful, just uncomfortable. I had asked my OB about what I thought were gas cramps and if they could cause contractions. He said that if I was not running to the bathroom following the cramps, that yes, they were most likely contractions and at this point that was a good thing. So I was giddy Friday, thinking that the was near! Sometime in the morning, the BH contractions really started to get intense. Nothing super painful, but I could time them anywhere from 10-40 minutes apart and sometimes, they took my breath away by how tight my tummy would become. I started to get anxious and called B several times. He reminded me that it could be early labor and to just drink water and try to relax. So I finished out my work day, came home and laid down, drank a ton of water and within a few hours the contractions subsided and as far as I can tell, nothing happend today. I am really trying not to get my hopes up here but it is so hard not to!! I am SO excited that we will finally be meeting Logan in what is literally DAYS!! So B and I have attempted some old wives tales to try and get labor going. So far nothing but I am hoping that on Tuesday at our appointment we will hear the words "yes, S, YOU ARE DILATING!!". :)