Guest Post: Harvesting Kale

I am proud to feature one of my most favorite mama bloggers, Randalin from Harvesting Kale. Kale, her sweet little boy who is just a few months younger than Logan, has the most beautiful blue eyes and a strong love for the outdoors, just like Logan. Randalin, like myself, is a first time mama who has embraced the love, challenges and rewards of becoming a mother. She embodies aspects of attachment parenting that I wish I'd had the discipline for when Logan was younger. Enjoy this beautiful post.

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When I offered to do a guest post for Sarah while she settled into her new home I gave her free reign on choosing a topic. Oddly enough she picked something that has been on my mind a lot lately – how do I stay connected to pre-baby me now that I’m a mom? How do I maintain a love and passion for the things and people that came before Kale? A nice easy topic, right?

Before Kale was born I assumed my life would continue in a slightly altered way. Instead of giving up nights hanging out with friends and sipping wine, I thought I’d just bring Kale with me and find him a comfy place to catch some zzzz’s. Rather than wasting away Sunday’s watching reality TV and John Hughes films with my cat, I figured I’d watch 16 Candles with a baby snuggled up to me. Cooking meals that take two hours of prep? A baby would enjoy watching me caramelize onions, right?

Oh don’t worry – I’m totally embarrassed at how naïve I was. You don’t have to tell me.

Then along came Kale. High-needs, gassy, colicky Kale. A head full of hair and blue eyes that saw straight through my naivety. A baby that made my heart swell and break all at the same time. A baby that refused to be put down, wouldn’t sleep without being held,

and balked at the sight of a swing, stroller, car seat, bouncy chair or any thing else that might allow me enough time to pee.  There was no wine. No John Hughes. And definitely no onions.

In the midst of sleep deprivation and out of control hormones, I began to unravel. I missed myself. I missed having a thought that didn’t revolve around my son. I missed having space, silence and freedom. I missed Molly Ringwald.

Time passed. Kale gained independence (at the rate of a centipede). And me? While I let go. I let go of old me. I let go of old hobbies. Old friends. Old passions. I just let it all go. Because I needed to get rid of all that extra “stuff.” The people I didn’t really care about, but had dragged out friendships with. The things I used to do just to fill up time. The drama, the waste and the wine.

I had to let it go because I needed room for the new me. The mama me. The me that embraced parenthood with a sense of passion and enthusiasm that I never expected. The me that wanted to spend every moment soaking up time with my family. The me that loved making new adventures and doing things that actually mattered.  One of my favourite quotes is: “The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.”

When Kale was born, I was born as a mother. Giving up the woman I was before wasn’t easy. It took time to adjust. To embrace. But here I am. A new person. A mother. No amount of Matthew Broderick and Emilio Estevez could change how much I love being the new me.

Except, of course, if it’s a rainy Sunday, there’s a pot of stew on the stove, and Pretty in Pink and 16 Candles are playing back to back. Then I might reconsider. But only for a second.