A Healthier Me

Time for a health update!

• My anxiety has been under the radar now for most of the last 3.5 months since I started Cymbalta. I can tell a HUGE difference in how I feel. I didn't realize how depressed I was until I started to feel genuinely happy again. I don't cry as much and the fears I have (and acknowledge) are realistic. I've had a few moments of panic due to some big life changes going on right now. But I feel those have been okay moments to have a little freak out over. ;)


• Running has been going well. It started out terrible. I thought I would run in the early AM before I got ready for work and I had to be serious with myself--I hate getting up earlier than I have to. So I did it one time and my initial thoughts were a) I hated that run and b) well at least my run is done for the day! I can see how many people enjoy this time of day for a run, it's just not for me. Since that run I have been out 3 other times. Twice for runs and once for a very long hike. We did a 5 mile hike on Monday and it was rough! Quite steep in many areas and another testament to my being totally out of shape. I actually told B that I hoped this hike would help condition me for my next run. And it did! I ran last night 2 miles in 17:15!! I was shocked by how great I felt! I had the early burn that I pushed through and only walked twice for less than 30 sec each, then sprinted the last block and a half home. I wish every run felt that great!


• Goals: To run a 5K by the end of the summer AND meet my goal weight at the same time.


• My weight is getting better! I have gained 5 pounds in the last 5 weeks, which is what I was aiming for. I have to eat over 2000 calories a day to ensure that I gain a pound a week. I will continue to do this until I have reached my goal weight which both my nutritionist and doctor have agreed on.


• The lactose intolerance is under control. If I know I'm eating something with cream or milk in it, I take 1-2 lactaid pills and I don't feel a thing! I was not able to do this 6 months ago as my system was too sensitive. The GERD and IBS are still hit and miss thing.s..sometimes I can have a red sauce with my pasta, and sometimes I can't. I still take a med for that which certainly helps.


• Overall, I feel like I can eat more of the things I like and have a really good understanding of the things I just can't have, period. Coffee, onions, and acidic foods are no good, no matter the medication. I miss red onions! I used to cook with them all the time!

How is your health? Any summer goals?

Wednesday Mish-Mash

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(found Logan asleep like this a few nights ago)

• My running re-cap for last week is pretty lame due to the fact that I only ran twice and the weather was crappy. I still go up and down on how motivated I am to get out there and do it. I know for sure that I hate running inside on a treadmill. Seeing how long and how far I have been running actually makes it harder for me to keep going. I have a better/faster pace, but the moment I hit one mile the wind in my sails goes away and I justify running a mile and that was good enough. 
• I'm still trying to decide what kind of runner I want to be. Maybe running 1-2 miles a few times a week is all I really want to do. I know regardless, the fact that I am doing it at all is good. I'm staying active and healthy. A few goals I have set are not realistic for me--not yet anyway. 
• I am so effing sick of the cold, windy weather I could cry. Seriously. Come on summer!
• My new job is going very well! I love what I am doing and the opportunities I have. Only been there two days and I already have a chance of becoming a full time benefit eligible employee, which has been my goal all along. The people are so nice!
• Logan has been in daycare the last two days and has been bit a total of 3 times. Yes, my child is coming home with bruises! I would be lying if I said I was just kinda mad. I'm fuming!! My heart breaks at the thought of Logan being hurt by another kiddo. Seems that there are a few biters in his class and he is not the only one being bit. This makes me feel a little better and after a long conversation with the director yesterday they have a very solid plan on how to get the biting to stop. He is home with me today and will return the rest of the week. If he is bit again I might just loose it on them!
• I'm going shopping today for new clothes for work and I'm actually pretty excited about it! I love getting new clothes.
• I cannot finish a cup of coffee at home to save my life but at work I drink 2-3 cups in an hour! What the?
• And that is it. Have a great week everyone!!

Running: Week Three

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So this week was not nearly as productive as the week before as in how often I ran. However, I met my very first short-term goal on today's run!

To run a mile without stopping. 

I ran 2 miles in 22 minutes! That's an 11 minute mile people!! And I ran a mile and a half of that without stopping! And once I did stop, it was only to walk for one minute. It was by far the best run I have had so far! I feel very good about how well it went. Funny thing is I really had to talk myself into doing it. Sadly, the fact that I have to carry a stroller up and down three flights of stairs just to get a run in for the day is very discouraging. But I bucked up and did it. Even with the dogs this time!

I came home and had my protein shake and then it's off to shower and read until I have to work. Logan is down for a nap and again, I feel great!

I already updated on the other run I had earlier this week. I took three days off after that run. Why? It was a hard run and I came home from it feeling pretty terrible. I had those "I never want to run again" thoughts. Of course Bestie tells me that I am going to have bad runs. Well, having a bad run this week must have been the reason behind this awesome run today!

So I ran a total of five miles in 1:30 (that's 1 hour, 30 min) and burned over 1000 calories. Wowza! This mama is getting her heiny into shape! :) Have a great weekend!

Of Paci Wars and the Big Run

>Logan is going to be 14 months old on Friday. FOURTEEN MONTHS!! Can you believe it? I sure can't. I look at him every morning and I swear it looks more and more like a little boy and less like a baby. One key thing that seems to hold him back from little boyhood is that damn paci. I freaking hate it. He is obsessed! I get that this is a special "security/comfort blanket" of sorts and by no means do I want to take something like that away. But it does have to go. I have not done very much reading on the subject and I just have a plan. That's it. I figure every kid is different and how to get rid of the paci is different for all kids. So here's the plan:

Three days ago I stopped letting him have his paci outside of naps and bedtime. We had attempted this a few months ago and somehow we gave in to allowing it anytime thereafter. Now, we've got a strong hold on him not having it outside his crib. Period. This includes when we go out. He has no problem falling asleep in his car seat and I am torn as to whether or not I will carry one with me just in case. Either way, the goal is to be rid of the paci by the end of the month. In a week or two I am going to start taking it away for naps and by the end of the month he should be free and clear of it for all sleep times. I have no idea if this is going to work. I'm going to try though. The sight of it makes him yearn for that comfort and the only way to calm him is through distraction. Sippies of water and a fun toy seem to be working so far.

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On another note I want to share my run I had yesterday. I ran 3.4 miles! While this was not all at once, broken up in half due to swim lessons, I feel pretty darn good having done it. The last half on the way home was walked. My body was hurting something fierce! Today my muscles are sore and it feels so good! No running today. It's rainy and I'm going to do the P90X Abs X workout again. That is serious ouchies!

Running Goals

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Becoming a runner is in and of itself a goal. Within that I have many short and long-term goals for getting me to that place. I do not feel like a true runner-yet. But I want to be. Here are the goals I have set for myself.

Short:

1. Run three times a week
2. Run a mile without stopping
3. Run two miles without stopping
4. Run 30 minutes without stopping
5. Buy runners socks (2 pair)
6. Drink four 32oz bottles of water a day

Long:

1. Run the Horsetooth Half next spring (it’s coming up the end of this month)
2. Collect some awesome running gear other than shoes
3. Run five days a week for at least 30 minutes without stopping

None of these goals have a real “deadline” as to when I want to meet them. I have a new running buddy from swim class and we may be getting together in the next 3-4 weeks. I would really like to be able to run two miles without stopping at that point, and I think I can, I just don’t want to push myself too hard to get there. Obviously, in a year I hope to run a half marathon around one of the coolest landmarks in our town. It’s beautiful and hilly. Makes my calves burn just thinking about it! Everything else is flexible. The ultimate goal here is to get into shape. I am not trying to lose weight. In fact, if I gain a few pounds in muscle weight, then that is awesome. Otherwise, I just want to better my health. Being a positive influence to Logan and our future children is very important to us and I want Logan to know that an active lifestyle is healthy. I am sure Logan will have no problem with that! The moment he learns to walk he will be all over the place!

What are your fitness goals?

Week Two: Running Update

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This week of running has been pretty good! I feel like I have climbed that beginners hurdle. You know it. The one where the voices in your head tell you to stop, that you can’t do it, that you’re too tired, etc. All those silly excuses for shortening or not even participating in your desired workout. I have a serious mental bully in my head and it is all I can do to block it out.

I put my new running shoes on THREE times this week for a total of SIX miles ran/walked!! I know for most this is nothing. I have a friend who runs 20-30 miles at a time and an eight mile run is short for him. Ugh. My long-term running goals are NOT to run that much at once. Here is a quick recap of the week:

Monday: I ran on the treadmill and kept with the plan for week two of the eight week running program. I ran two minutes, walked 1 minute. I was feeling great for most of it until I started to feel faint. I stoped just after I hit a mile. Then was lectured by B and Heidi to drink more water. Go figure.

Tuesday: I turned on a Pilates video and did a 30 minute buns/thighs workout. It was great! I have always loved yoga.

Thursday: I ran a mile again on the treadmill and because B had been pretty sick the last 24 hours I was exhausted. It was all I could do to get to that mile.

Friday: I walked with the dogs and Logan around the neighborhood. It was a beautiful day.

Saturday: Bestie was in town. She is one of my key motivators to run and I could not wait to have a running buddy. The morning was beautiful. We hit it with Logan and ran/walked almost three miles! We stopped at the store to get a few things and a movie. Best weekend in a long time!

Overall I am very proud of myself. I am proud that I was able to stay motivated to make the time to workout, no matter what I was doing. This is a huge feat for me. As I have stated before, I have never been a very athletic person. Now I know that I don’t need to be athletic to be a runner. I don’t need to be athletic to practice yoga or do the 30 Day Shred. I was putting myself in a “non-athletic” box which meant there was no way I could become a runner. The blinders are off and I am rearing to go! Sundays will always be my day of rest. I have not worked up to a five-day a week workout plan yet. I am pacing myself until I feel ready to do that. Also, things will change once I start my new job in a few weeks. If anyone else out there needs some motivation let me know! The positive reinforcement and encouraging words are sometimes the ONLY thing that keeps me going. Oh yeah and drinking TONS of water. Per Heidi, I am working up to four 34oz bottles of water a day. Yeah, that’s a GALLON. I’ve reached three the last two days. Coming up: GOALS!

Running: Week One

>I meant to post this on Sunday but we were having a little too much fun over at my parents house. Week one of running went well--that is until I messed up the ball of my right foot responding to an emergency at work. You see, when someone pages me I am RUNNING to get to them, as most anyone would. Aside from that I was able to get two of the three runs in last week and that felt good. I am on cloud 9 right now. I am going to be buying my first real pair of running shoes today and I cannot wait! I know that the money spent will be reason enough to use the shoes. Both runs last week were outside around our neighborhood. We live outside of a very nice area where the single family homes are pretty big and people run and walk with their kids and dogs all over the place. It felt great to join that club, even though we live in the apartments outside of the neighborhood. Logan loves, more than anything I am sure, to be outside and even more, outside in the stroller. He could be screaming bloody murder and the moment that stroller starts moving he is silent. Well almost. If the ride is long enough he will start jabbering at you and that is so fun to hear. I started out with a 1 minute run, 2 minute walk combo and arrived home in 25 minutes. I felt great! Now, if the mornings would just warm up a bit more then I'd really be ready to go again!

Becoming A Runner

>This has been something that has been SO hard for me to get to. I am still not there, but I have a lot more motivation right now. My bestie and cousin Heidi has become a HUGE motivator, being that she is a beautiful mother of three and looks more amazing now than she ever has. Her strength and beauty astounds me. I am beside myself with how well she has stuck to her goals and overcome so much, and not just athletically. Let's talk about that. I am NOT an athletic person. I never have been. Ever. I tried to get into certain sports while younger but nothing ever stuck. I started dancing in 6th grade and while I loved it, it was almost as if I was ten years too late because of how NOT flexible and graceful I am. I have flat feet so I tried gymnastics for a year. Too tall. My rear end brushed the floor while on the low bar of the uneven bars. In 7th grade I did volleyball for a year. I wasn't bitchy enough (as if that has anything to do with how athletic I am--I'm actually pretty good at it). In 10th grade I tried out for basketball but again, not coordinated for it. While my hight seemed to be enough for just about everyone I knew, it was not enough for the people who actually cared about winning. And honestly, I didn't care at all.

So all in all, I am not, nor have I ever been, an athletic person. I have, however, found ways to be an active person. I love camping, hiking, and a friendly game of beach volleyball. I also love long walks in the summer after dinner. Nothing beats the perfect summer night temps in CO. Nothing. So here I am, 13.5 months after having given birth and I have been torn: do I work my ass off (literally) to get into shape only to get knocked up again in the next year or so OR do I just get knocked up now and be done with it later. Meh...we're not ready for a baby and honestly, I am pretty sure that if I have a healthier more fit body next time around I won't gain as much weight or have nearly as much aches and pains so early on as I did. Who knows--just a theory.

So back to my dearest H. She is my rockstar. Gah I love her and HATE more than sushi that she is not down the street from me (I really hate sushi). Sooooo we've chatted a bit over the weekend and I am finally ready to give an honest to goodness go at getting my arrse in gear. Literally. I will be heading down to the gym bright and early tomorrow morning (5:20am!!) to job/walk for 30 mins. Here is the plan I am going to try to follow. I think it is fairly similar to the advice that H has gifted me--to do whatever I can for 30 min. Run or walk, be able to carry on a convo without being totally out of breath. I can do this and I WILL do it. I'll do my best to keep things updated-good days and bad- and I'm HOPING that I might be someone who can motivate one of you, like H has me, to be more active. So shoot up a few prayers because 5:20am is NOT that far away!! :)

In other news: we start our swim classes tomorrow!!

Mosh Posh

>July 15, 2010

This little ham is 5 months old now. OMG his legs are so delisiously chunky I just want to eat him up! This will be random due to my being very tired but having trouble going to be right now, watch out:

• We invested in new cloth diapers last weekend. gDiapers to be exact. So far, I like them. I like the method and taking care of the dredded poopy dipe is not has threating anymore. I will say they are quite expencive and I know that in the long run, it’s well worth it. But because of that, I have only invested so much into them so far that I need to wash them almost every day as oppose to every few days. We’ll get there. I love that he can wear them at night if I double the liners and he has no leaking issues.
• I have been having up and down days on my meds. First of all, I have trouble remember to take them. Secondly, I still feel the effects of my anxiety, only dulled. Dulled is better than the stronger, more aggressive alternative, however I am ready to nip this damn biotch in the ass and move on. I have a great thearipist whom I feel very comfortable with. We meet every few weeks and I actually look forward to seeing him. We’ve been talking about how I can’t stop thinking about and almost reliving Logan’s birthday, his stay in the NICU, my friend’s Baby K who died that same week, and quiting breastfeeding. It is all very heavy for me. I am angry, sad, scared, numb, lost, resentful, jealous, and hopeful. He said that is totally normal. I am greiving the things I missed out on due to Logan being in the NICU. For example (these are the biggies): skin to skin time for awhile after birth, nursing right after birth, no pit after birth (gave it to me since I did not BF right away to help ute shrink), HOLD HIM!!! OMG did you know that it was the NEXT DAY before I got to hold and hug my son after he was born? Yeah…worst effing night of my life. Rather than him being connected to me anymore, he was connected to wires, machines and a hospital bed. Ironic. Either way, I am dealing with a lot of these emotions right now.
• I am still trying to run every few days. My knee is giving me hell right now so if I don’t run, I go swim laps which I enjoy a lot more.
• I have HUGE news which I will disclose at a later date, so stay tuned. And NO, Logan is not getting a sibling anytime soon.