the two year old outside

You know it's summer time when I bust out my camera and snap more photos in 2 days than I have in 2 months.

Nothing like finishing a day off at the park with a PB&J and string cheese.

twenty-four months

It does not feel like I should be writing those words yet. How can my 6.6 pound newborn already be two years old?! Was it not yesterday that I was bulging, begging God to go into labor so I could cradle our sweet boy and finally declare motherhood? Nope. Two years now. Two years of absolute bliss, despite sleepless nights, sickness, his first boo-boo, the first time we left him with someone, going back to work, changing jobs, changing childcare...the list goes on. Two of the toughest, yet greatest, years of my life, molding into and adopting a new label: mother.

When Logan was born and as time escaped me, I felt for the longest time that those first 6 weeks were our hardest. I had a tough time healing and adjusting to the lack of sleep. But it got better and easier and now that he's two, those first 6 weeks were precious. So many changes occur, for both of us, and really are not all that bad.

There are certain things I do without a second thought. Changing a diaper, finding a paci under his bed, fixing him milk, making him laugh...all of which make both of our hearts grow just a little bigger, no matter how mundane it might seem, poopy diaper and all. The worst part about being a mother is that your heart is outside of your body. I can no longer think about life without thinking about Logan being in it. For someone with terrible anxiety, this can become bad at times as the worry I foster is not healthy, but I cannot help it. My heart is running around the room, chasing the dogs, pulling on the lamp cord, putting too much food in his mouth, taking a face plant in the snow, giving hugs, loving Elmo and trains, pronouncing "airplane" in such a way that only B and I know exactly what he's saying...

My Logan, my little wolverine, is the most exciting, precious, important, loving thing in my life (right there next to B of course!). I never knew I could love someone, this tiny piece of me and my soul mate, so much. I never knew I could become the mother I am today. It's thrilling and a little scary, but mostly amazing. I thank God 1000 times a day for blessing me with Logan and his daddy. Without them, I'd be lost.

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Some fun facts:

• On February 2, Logan weighed exactly 26 pounds and is 35" tall.


• He wears 2T clothing (24 months is too short) and size 4 diapers


• He has nearly 80 words in his vocabulary, but only uses about half of those regularly


• He's still obsessed with lights.


• His first two-word sentence was "light on"


• He knows almost all his body parts (elbows and knees throw him off!)


• He can count to 3 with help.


• He can tell you how old he is.


• He started saying "yeah" instead of "uh-huh" when asked a question


• He sleeps in a toddler bed for about 10 hours at night and takes one 3 hour nap in the afternoon


• He hates not getting his way


• He loves everything else. Seriously. ;)

Toddler Must Haves

We are in full toddler mode and are needing and using different things to get us and Logan through the day as flawlessly as possible. Right...far from flawless BUT these items are serious life-savers. What are your toddler must-haves? (click all photos for source)

1) Sleep Sheep



This sweet, soft sleep machine is just what Logan needs to help him fall asleep. I know a lot of mamas use this for their infants, however I never thought to buy one and ended up being gifted it by my Grammy. Since Logan was a wee one we have always tried to lay him down to awake but sleepy so he could learn how to self soothe. Even without the Sleep Sheep he is pretty darn good at talking or humming himself to sleep. The sheep just adds and extra dash of comfort which Logan melts over. We leave it in his crib and allow him to press the buttons. He is especially fond of the singing whales. Every mama, whether she has a newborn or a toddler, should invest in this little sleep gem.

2) Paci & Clip



Ahhh yes. My 16 month old son has a more-than-mild obsession with his paci and the clip it hangs on. I tried not to even start giving Logan a paci when we first brought him home but after a super fussy night my mom talked me into it and ever since it has been a life saver for both Logan and everyone around him. Be it a melt down, not feeling good, falling asleep, or just needing something to suck on the paci is like gold in our home. About the clip: we used to clip the paci to him so he wouldn't lose it, which is exactly what it's designed for, however Logan loves just rolling the clip end around his fingers while he sucks on his paci. It's so comforting that I have seen him fall asleep doing just that. When will we get rid of it? I don't really think that is up to us. For now he is still so young and it's such a meaningful thing to him that I cannot take it away. I will say that we do our best to limit the time he has with it during the day unless he's sick or super fussy and leave it special just for naps and night time.

3) Water Play

The surest way to put a smile on Logan's face, even with a fever (when this photo was taken) is water play. This kid loves playing in the pool, the dog dishes, tubs, you name it. I snapped this photo on Sunday when he first began feeling pretty crummy and on a hot day there was nothing more soothing to him than plopping his hot little body into cool water. Plus, it's a great way for him to explore his senses.

4) Sunblock



Since Logan happens to be entering toddlerhood in the summer sunblock is a must have. And I don't buy just any kind. This stuff is expensive, but well worth every penny. I first bought it last summer and knowing that Logan has sensitive skin I had to find something that would not irritate him from tons of crap and chemicals.

5) Room to Run!

I don't know about you, but my toddler cannot sit still. He is constantly moving, dancing, jabbering, picking things up, opening cabinets, hiding remotes, taking CDs off the shelf, pulling toilet paper all over the place, and generally harassing the dogs. He goes from 100 to 0 super fast. When he tanks he's down for the count and sleeps a good 3 hours to charge up for his next round of running. And we love chasing him. We love walking with him outside while he picks up sticks and rocks and throws piles of cotton every where. Seeing the world through his eyes is the most rewarding, most important thing we have learned as parents. And we're still learning.

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Of Paci Wars and the Big Run

>Logan is going to be 14 months old on Friday. FOURTEEN MONTHS!! Can you believe it? I sure can't. I look at him every morning and I swear it looks more and more like a little boy and less like a baby. One key thing that seems to hold him back from little boyhood is that damn paci. I freaking hate it. He is obsessed! I get that this is a special "security/comfort blanket" of sorts and by no means do I want to take something like that away. But it does have to go. I have not done very much reading on the subject and I just have a plan. That's it. I figure every kid is different and how to get rid of the paci is different for all kids. So here's the plan:

Three days ago I stopped letting him have his paci outside of naps and bedtime. We had attempted this a few months ago and somehow we gave in to allowing it anytime thereafter. Now, we've got a strong hold on him not having it outside his crib. Period. This includes when we go out. He has no problem falling asleep in his car seat and I am torn as to whether or not I will carry one with me just in case. Either way, the goal is to be rid of the paci by the end of the month. In a week or two I am going to start taking it away for naps and by the end of the month he should be free and clear of it for all sleep times. I have no idea if this is going to work. I'm going to try though. The sight of it makes him yearn for that comfort and the only way to calm him is through distraction. Sippies of water and a fun toy seem to be working so far.

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On another note I want to share my run I had yesterday. I ran 3.4 miles! While this was not all at once, broken up in half due to swim lessons, I feel pretty darn good having done it. The last half on the way home was walked. My body was hurting something fierce! Today my muscles are sore and it feels so good! No running today. It's rainy and I'm going to do the P90X Abs X workout again. That is serious ouchies!

I'm going nuts.

>

I feel like moms who have little boys and who start to throw fits before they are 15 months old should be given a free, 1 hour massage EVERY EFFING DAY! I tell ya, this stage is just about killing me as a mother. I have never been so challenged as a mother before and I know this is just the very teeny tiny tip of the ice burg.

I have been rather cautious in sharing what we have been going through as I am just not quite sure how to phrase it. I have no words, really, to describe how I feel or how Logan is behaving. It's normal. That is all I know and all everyone keeps telling me so I am just cruising along doing my best, BEGGING God for patience nine thousand times a day, and then some.

To pin-point when the shift in Logan's personality and behaviors changed would be hard, but right around a year old sounds good enough. It's like a light bulb switched in his brilliant little machine of a brain and he knows so much more than we could have ever anticipated. It's really quite amazing, really. He get's what we're saying and doing, but he only expresses how he feels about it by crying, screaming and throwing himself on the ground. A new thing is him banging his head against the wall or the table--whatever hard surface is closest. He does it, cries and then stops, looks up at me like "SEE how mad you made me??!". 

As odd as it sounds, I am very proud of Logan. I am so proud of him for learning to express himself, all while I am feeling crazy and anxious inside because I have no effing clue what to do. Every child is so different and how we parent is going to depend on how Logan is behaving. I have amazing family and friends and it seems that just like when you're pregnant and the moment you say, "Well...he's been acting out lately" you get all that unsolicited advice. I am all for sharing tricks and tactics, but it is exhausting having so many opinions and thoughts coming at me from every which way. I am not sure how we are going to parent this behavior. It is so short-lived right now and it seems that distraction has been the best way to get him off of whatever it is he is crying over. But sometimes in a great while, that means nothing. My son is just as stubborn, strong-willed and determined as I am. Oy.

In other news:

I thought I might try out a mini blog challenge. I am going to just pull these awesome writing prompts as I feel like it pertains to me or I want to share something. No rhyme or reason to the day or whatnot. Bringing Up Bumble has started it so go check her out. Because it is so fitting, I am going to start with Day Seven, asking how I feel about the Cry It Out (CIO) method.

No one likes to listen to their sweet babe cry, but ever since Logan was six or seven months old we had to implement our own special version of CIO. Since becoming a parent and since using this method, I feel it is safe to say that this is a very "as needed" type of sleep training. We have only had to do it two or three times and both times lasted barely two or three days. That is how quickly Logan gets it and it's no longer an issue. We have not used CIO in quite some time (KNOCK ON WOOD!!). Sans sickness and teething, Logan is and has always been a great sleeper. He will normally sleep 10-12 hours a night and very rarely, if ever, wakes in the middle of the night. If he does, we do give him a second to work it out. Sometimes he has just lost his paci, which we no longer fetch for him, or a crick in the neck...whatever. He always goes back to sleep. I am grateful that I am no longer dashing out of bed mostly asleep at the smallest peep from him. I know he is okay.

Anyway, when we did have to implement some CIO techniques, we always set a certain about of time that we would wait. At first it was only two to three minutes, then five, then ten. Usually within in the first five minutes anytime we lay him down he goes to sleep or talks himself to sleep. CIO, in my opinion, has always helped us get back on track, especially if we take a long weekend away and his sleep gets all screwed up. 

So how do I feel about it? I think that CIO is not for everyone. But I do see some very clear benefits from it if and only if the parent is willing to commit to it. I never read and make recipes by the book. I always add in extra spices or sub something in for something else. That is kind of how parenting is. I love reading about certain things, but when it comes down to it, I am going to do it my way. End of story. Now, I do believe that implementing CIO BEFORE six months is too young and I also think that letting a baby cry (I mean really crying, not just fussing on and off) for more than 30 minutes is also not okay. I know that if I put Logan down and he ends up crying for more than 15-20 minutes, he is not ready for bed. Playing for an extra 20-30 minutes always helps him wined down a bit more and then once I lay him down again he does not make a sound. So for all you awesome mamas out there, especially with younger ones, take this advice, as well as everyone else's with a grain of salt. Do what feels right to YOU, not someone else.