Currently...24 weeks!

This week has been SO much better than last. It all started on Tuesday when I was having a serious hormone and stress-induced meltdown in my office. I was so completely overwhelmed by the three classes I was taking that I was certain I had to change my work schedule to make it work. Then came the voice of reason from my sweet husband who encouraged me to just drop one of the classes. I had not considered that option and the moment I clicked "web drop" I felt a weight lift from my shoulders and everything has been so much better this week. Not to mention I have been drinking coffee in the am which totally helps my mood and keeps the headaches away.

Logan IS CURRENTLY....

 

WISHING he could possess control of every single light bulb and lamp in existence  specifically in our house. He has incredible hand-eye coordination and can twist off the top of a lamp, remove the shade, and twist out the light bulb. Then he take the bulb to another lamp that already has a bulb, removes it and replaces it with the bulb from the first lamp. We have really cracked down on him NOT doing this as it's just not safe. And he hates that.

 

MISSING his little cousin River who lived with us. He's only a few months older and of the three children, R is the one he talks about the most. Breaks my heart.

 

WORRYING about our DVD player pausing/skipping his Curious George shows all.the.time. He wants to take the thing apart and fix it, or for us to do it for him.

I AM CURRENTLY....

 

LOVING ice packs. God-send for this low back/tailbone pain. I try to ice every night after work for like, an hour.

 

WISHING that my body loved pregnancy as much as I do.  Seriously, I feel like I'm already in the third tri. Everything feels so heavy and the aches in my back are making me waddle already.

 

CRAVING milk shakes! I have to make them at home with lactose free ice cream and almond milk, which has turned out awesome!  But I do miss the only thing good that McDonalds offers and that is their vanilla milk shakes. Mmmm

 

MISSING my energy level. It's below zero right now.

 

WORRYING kinda sorta about the little baby bean. He/she is measuring a solid 2 weeks behind right now which could mean a  number of things, including genetics, wrong dates or worse, IUGR or SGA. We will have another ultrasound at 28wks to check things out but for now, everything is okay.

how far along? 24wks, measuring 22wks.
total weight gain: 19.5 pounds
maternity clothes? yes.
sleep: not too bad this week. Lots of crazy dreams.
best moment this week: Logan feeling the baby move.
movement: Oh yes!
sex: team green!
labor signs: none
belly button in or out? getting flatter.
food cravings: vodka pasta sauce, ramen noodles
what i miss: The warmer weather. I just want to play outside with my son!
what i am looking forward to: Logan's birthday next week!
weekly wisdom: Every pregnancy, even for the same person, is different.

accessories

If you know me, you know I am not big on accessories. I wear simple earrings and rarely a matching necklace since my work badge overshadows it. I paint my nails once in a blue moon and walk around with chipped paint until it all comes off naturally. I wear one ring, my wedding ring, and my purse never matches anything I wear. In fact, my socks are loud and make a statement better than anything else I wear.

In pregnancy, I am even less motivated to accessorize. I'm all about making things simple and in pregnancy, that is intensified by 1000.  For example, I take my showers in the evening so I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes. Last night I scrunched up my hair and spun it into a loose bun so that I'd have some awesome waves today. I didn't do ANYTHING to my hair when I woke up, not even a bobby pin.

My sense of simplicity sometimes overshadows the things that I really do need and honestly, when do I even consider what I need anymore?? **tangent: I did a personality workshop on Wednesday and of course this is my weakness in not taking care of myself**. All this to say, it took me 22weeks and a 2nd pregnancy to realize that I needed a few accessories that are only (mostly) for pregnancy.

I carry my babies low. I have a long torso and the baby likes to sit right on my sacrum. This causes horrible low back and tailbone pain. For some reason, I don't remember it being this bad the first time and maybe it wasn't. So I did some research and bought a maternity support belt. Today is day 1 and I'm not thrilled to wear it. It's cumbersome, but gives a ton of support. No difference in the pains yet, but I know that with time that will go away (um...like...delivery!).

I also bought a exercise ball for work. That alone has been making the biggest difference in comfort. Lastly, I bought some new ice packs. These are my new accessories. I'm making them work all in the name of comfort. I'm always making accessories work in the name of comfort. ;)

Bedsharing

Dear Logan,

In less than a month you are going to turn three years old and I'm just in awe of you. I'm in awe of what a sweet, smart, determined little boy you have turned into in just three short years. My life has never been richer and more exciting and I thank you from the deepest part of my heart for your love and presence.

Lately, we have been sharing our bed with you. With your little baby brother or sister swimming around in my belly, I've been laying down a lot more. Daddy fixed up a nice TV and put it in our room. Almost every night, we cuddle up and watch one of your favorite shows which is either Charlotte's Web (the "pig" movie) or Curious George. Sometimes I will watch a movie while you play your Elmo game on my iPad. And on REALLY lazy and special nights, we lay a towel down over the bed and enjoy dinner together. In our bed. All three of us. I must say, this has been the cherry for most of my evenings.

Over the last few weeks, you have decided that your pull up is no longer necessary at night. You purse your lips at us and say you don't want to wear a pull up and we have been very proud of you for making this decision on your own. But even more, we are proud that you are making it through the night without an accident. Last night, your little body woke you up, you went potty and then came and climbed into bed with me. I didn't look at the clock. You didn't say a word. We just snuggled in close and fell back to sleep. I thought it had been much later in the morning than it actually was, because you slept with us most of the night. I was sandwiched between you and your daddy. Sometimes you would push my arm off your tummy so you could roll over onto your belly and take up 3/4 of my pillow. But that was okay. It was perfect, actually.

I cherish moments like this. I don't care about the habit it might be forming. I just want to keep you the way you are for as long as I can. And before we know it, you're going to have a new sibling who will take away my undivided attention from you. That thought alone makes my heart break a little, but I know that I could never love you less. In fact, I will love you more the moment you meet him or her.

Logan, thank you for making me a mama. You're incredible.

Love,

Mama

Bump day, on a Monday

I didn't post last week. Work was insanely busy and my brain felt like fried mush every night. This morning, I had a follow-up ultrasound to check out baby's heart, brain and face. Here is a lil photo:

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="612"] Baby Bean 21.5wks[/caption]

The scan was great. Baby was so much bigger and moving around a lot more, which made a huge difference in how decent the shots were of what they needed. Still Team Green and going strong! I'm not going to lie: waiting is hard! But we have less than 20 weeks to wait now so I can manage.

Because I need prompting, here are the 'deets for the week:

how far along? 21.5, measuring at 20.1wks
total weight gain: 14 pounds
maternity clothes? yes.
sleep: Getting worse. I toss and turn a lot more and baby is so active that it keeps me awake.
best moment this week: Baby doing yoga all.day.long yesterday. Non-stop movement!
movement: See above.
sex: team green!
labor signs: none
belly button in or out? getting flatter.
food cravings: vodka pasta sauce, ramen noodles
what i miss: Going a day without a head ache/migraine
what i am looking forward to: Continuing to have a healthy pregnancy.
weekly wisdom: It's okay to watch TV all weekend.

Currently...20 weeks!

TWENTY WEEKS!! I feel like this is one of the best milestones in pregnancy. For me, 10 weeks, 20 weeks, 24 weeks and 35 weeks are the best milestones. 10 weeks feels like you're pretty much out of the woods as far as a potential loss is concerned. Then 20 weeks is HALF WAY!! 24 weeks is viability and 35 weeks is almost term, meaning you can emotionally prepare for your baby to come just about any time.

Overnight, the belly and this baby have popped. I just know baby is going through a growth spurt. Suddenly, every part of my low back, hips and sacrum is screaming at me each time I sit down or stand up. Baby's position must be sitting just right to make all these aches happen at once. Plus, I carry my babies low so I know that contributes. Regardless, each ache is worth the reward in the end. Grow, baby grow!

Wishing... I could enjoy more alcohol. We were given so much wine over the holidays and I have to wait 5 more months before I can enjoy it. I'm certain that, by then, we will have quite the stock. Maybe we will have a "meet the baby and drink my wine" party.

Thinking...about how I've lost a friend, emotionally. The last week has been rough. I'm more angry than anything else, but it's still really hard.

Cooking...nothing. I try not to cook when I'm pregnant and we have had so many left overs from different get togethers. We are working our way through that.

Drinking...coke, water, juice and tea. The coke is to ward off an oncoming migraine and I am loving peppermint teas.

Working...my holiday. I worked on New Years Day and it was slow, but easy. Also working on getting the Christmas decorations put away and keeping the house cleaned up.

At 20 weeks....

• Eating: Edemame!! OMG why did no one tell me about this before?!


• Wearing: maternity clothes. Some longer tops/tanks still fit but I'm pretty much done with my regular clothes.


• Gaining: some weight! I think my boots added an extra pound or two, but apparently I gained 5 pounds in the last week. Makes sense if this baby is going through a growth spurt!


• No fun: low back pains


• Way fun: seeing baby bean on the screen on Monday and learning I no longer have a placenta previa!!


• Big brother is: insisting baby is a girl and he calls her by her name. I love it!

Our Baby

This morning we had our big ultrasound. I have been really distracted with other things the last week or so and was not really excited about it until last night. I'm glad the excitement was short because waiting is so hard! For the last three weeks B and I, along with many of you, our family and friends, have been praying for my placenta to move away from the cervix. I was mentally preparing myself for a high risk pregnancy, bed rest and an early c-section. While all that was premature, I had to have my emotions in check for me to maintain any sanity about the entire situation. I know way too much about the condition and gave everything I knew up to God because I had no control. There was nothing we could do and so I settled with the worst case scenario. In a way, I believe this worked in my favor. I was less emotional and more accepting about it the last week or so, not to mention Christmas and time off from work is a huge distraction.

We arrived and waited for our tech. She has been a sonographer for 30 years so I knew she would tell us everything. Our practice has their own techs so, unlike in a hospital, they can give us details right away. I asked her if my care would be transferred and she said no, not for a previa. So that was a relief. I really was bumming on missing out on my experience with a midwife, even if I did end up with a c-section.

Baby looks amazing! So healthy and very happy. He/she is measuring a week behind, just like their older brother had been. Baby is also very low so we were unable to get the good profile shots. I go back in two weeks so she can check the head, face, brain and heart out in more detail.

Lastly, we finished up with a TV ultrasound to check on the placenta's placement. Right away it was obvious: my placenta was no longer covering the cervix! And not only that, but was a good 2.4cm away from the opening meaning I don't even have a marginal previa. I am no longer high risk and can carry on with a normal, vaginal birth if all else works out that way!! We are elated! I cannot even tell you how it felt to hear B's sigh of relief. We had both been really careful about my carrying things, etc for the last few weeks and while I will still be careful, we have a lot less to worry about.

Our year could not have ended any better! Tonight we are celebrating by a quiet dinner at home, sipping on sparkling cider, and watching the ball drop.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Bump Bump (19wks)

This weekend has been so nice! I know it's Wednesday but since Christmas was yesterday, it feels like a weekend. I'll post about Christmas next week, so onward with the baby bump update.

• Eating: Lots of pasta, salads, and peanut M&Ms


• Wearing: All maternity pants (work and jeans) and some maternity tops, though I have several tops that are longer tunics that fit great.


• Baby is…bouncing around quite a bit!


• Differences: This is a good 1-2 weeks earlier that I have been feeling this baby than the first time.


• Predictions: Still thinking (and HOPING!) this baby is a girl.


• No fun: I'm out of breath climbing the stairs! And by the end of the day I am achy all over and just want to sleep.


• Way fun: The baby movement and heading to Steamboat later today!


• Decided: on a name for this baby if it's a boy!

Have a great week, friends! I will be away from the blog for a little while. (I have a year in review post scheduled for this weekend.)

Currently...17wks

I know I know!! I've been MIA from an update for a few weeks. I just feel like this pregnancy has been a lot harder than the first time and it's hard for me to write about. But first, currently I am...

Reading... tons of blogs. I am out of school now for winter break and I have time to catch up on a ton that I do not frequent as often.

Listening to... lots of Christmas music. I love Christmas and I love the music. O Holy Night is my most favorite song.

Hating... all the little issues I've had the last two weeks.

Laughing... at my kid. He is so dang funny! Two nights ago he told me to go to time out.

Ignoring... nothing. I am so in-tune with everything right now. It's kind of driving me a little crazy! So hopefully things will settle down soon.

At 17 weeks...

• Eating: TONS of Caesar salad. I love it.


• Wearing: Regular clothes up until this morning. The pair of pants that still fit are dirty so I had to resort to my mat pants for work and am so much more comfortable!


• Baby is…being awesome. I got to see his/her little face two days ago and everything looks great (with the baby).


• Differences: Gosh, everything seems different. I did not have any infections with Logan and I am fighting two different ones right now. UGH


• Predictions: Still thinking (and HOPING!) this baby is a girl.


• No fun: Low back pain. Ouchies! And finding out a I have a complete placenta previa. More on that later.


• Way fun: gearing up for Christmas! We have two family parties this weekend. Oh and my cousin is moving out today! So bitter-sweet!


• Undecided: On how much to share. It's tough. B is way more private than I am, which is why I have strayed from sharing too much about some of the issues going on. Just know the baby is doing great!

Tuesday Night

Last night (Monday) I took my final for my human growth class and left feeling pretty damn good about it. I came home and learned that my cousin finally got the funds she has been waiting for and is set to move into the most adorable early 1900s house downtown in less than two days. We were/are so elated! B and I laid in bed and congratulated each other on getting through the last almost four months with four house guests and surviving. WHEW! B made a margarita in front of me, I smelled it, and wished I could have one myself. Then I turned into bed and slept well.

During the day (Monday) I had a pain return. Last week I was treated for an infection which I was certain was the source of the pain, but alas, it came back and I was worried. Fast forward to this morning. I called my midwife and told them what was going on. They asked that I come in right away. I wasn't too worried. I had a pretty good idea of what was going on. Then. THEN it took the midwife almost FIVE WHOLE minutes to find the bean's heart beat. DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH THAT SUCKED?! I didn't start to worry until she said something like, "Well, if we don't find it then you get an ultrasound!" Not 30 seconds later the little turkey finally made itself known. Healthy 150BPM. She checked everything else out, took some swabs and was still puzzled. We decided an ultrasound was a good idea. The pain I've been having starts in my belly button and travels straight down. All the way down. It's sharp and very uncomfortable. Could be muscles, even after the results of the ultrasound. Who knows.

So I worked some more, ate an awesome Caesar salad, and walked back over to the clinic. And I must say....I LOVE that my midwife is across the street from the hospital. Plus, I see them almost every day. I love it. B met me for the ultrasound. He was not with me the first time around 13wks so we were both a little excited. Baby looks amazing. It was being very quiet and relaxed. Healthy heart beat again. Measuring well. The "oh shit" moment? I noticed that my placenta was laying flat below the baby (as seen in this photo):



I am no ultrasound expert, but the thought crossed my mind, "Is my placenta covering my cervix?" I brushed it off since the tech had been talking to us about everything the entire time and didn't mention it. Then at the end she asked if I'd had any bleeding. Nope. None. Now, I know why. I waited to talk to my midwife while the tech made her notes. She confirmed I do have another weird infection so new antibiotics were prescribed and then, the bomb: I have a complete placenta previa. This means exactly what I suspected: my placenta is totally covering my cervix which means I am at a very high risk for bleeding, especially as the baby grows more. I have been restricted to only doing light jobs and tasks, no heavy lifting, jumping, etc.

Since it's still early, there is a very good chance the placenta will move away from the cervix as the baby and my uterus grows. However, if it doesn't, then I'm looking at an automatic c-section. This scares the hell out of me. Actually, all of this is scary. The bleeding in PP doesn't usually start until the middle of the 2nd trimester and can result in moderate to complete bedrest. I am trying to stay hopeful and pray that it will move away in time for me to have a normal vaginal delivery without any bleeding complications along the way. The hard part is that I just know too much. I did a huge case study on this exact diagnosis for my med term class. So please send happy thoughts and prayers that all will be well and that the placenta will move. Physically, it doesn't actually move...it moves with the growth of the uterus. I'm just hanging in there and staying positive. So thankful for an otherwise very healthy baby.

a little late

Tomorrow, I'm 14 weeks and officially in the 2nd trimester of this very fast-moving pregnancy! I really cannot believe how fast it feels.

The ups:

I feel like I am carrying this baby higher than I did with Logan. I can still wear my work pants and today, I just discovered that I really don't even need the belly band. Maybe I really did need it for the last few weeks, but the baby/my uterus has moved up some.

I look pregnant. People notice and comment. I love this stage where it is obvious and the attention to my belly is nice. I've always loved having a pregnant belly.

B and I had a date night on Saturday. It was amazing. I love him so much.

Heidi has found a house to move into! She and her kiddos should be making their way out of our digs in the next week or two. We are all so happy and excited for the next step in her transition here.

The downs:

I have been having pregnancy-induced migraines. I never had migraines prior to this pregnancy and they suuuuuuuck. I have a script for powerful tylenol and they're upping the dose because NOTHING is working. I am also scheduling a massage and maybe even a chiropractor adjustment. I'm even looking into buying a 10s unit.

Logan is in a weird phase, one which I am sure is going to last awhile. He cries over almost everything he wants and cannot have. It's exhausting.

Wordless Wednesday

Back Seat Driver and other things...

 (8ish-weeks)

I took this photo last night. My belly is really nothing to hide anymore and I'm barely 8 weeks pregnant! I say 8ish weeks because I'm not entirely sure of my dates. One place says I'm due May 21st, another says May 23rd. So I'm choosing Wednesday, the middle day, to declare the new week and until I have a growth scan it will stay that way. I'm feeling okay-ish. Good days and bad days, mostly of nausea and fatigue. Like today, I am SO dead tired. And I have a huge test in my Human Growth class tonight. Praying for strength!

Logan has become a back seat driver. He has been for awhile now, but it's getting worse. He tells me every morning to "go faster, mama!", "no music, mama!", "turn AC on, mama!", and so on. I explain to him that it is much too cold for AC, I'm not turning the music off, and I'm going slow through a school zone. He doesn't argue, yet. But when he does, I snapped a photo of him picking his nose this morning and I'll share it on FB if he starts arguing too much. ;)

Happy Hump Day!

The Stats: Week 7

(7wks with Logan)

Size of Baby: blueberry

Total Weight Gain: two pounds

Continuing Symptoms: nausea, fatigue, hunger

Maternity Clothes: none, HOWEVER I will admit to wearing my mat pants the last two days to work ONLY because everything else is dirty.

Sleep: sleeping well!

What I'm Eating: just about anything. Not a fan of meat right now.

Cravings: Veggies, greasy foods

Movement: none

Labor Signs: n/a

Special Pregnancy Moments: Sharing our news with everyone this week! It has been so exciting!

Melt down

As I mentioned last week, it was a tough one. In short, there will soon be seven people living under our roof. That includes B, me, and Logan. Seven mouths to feed and probably seven loads of laundry a day! And the dishes, beds, toys, and late night chats of seven people...I am excited, anxious, nervous and ready for this life change.

I thank God every day for the blessing of our home. Being first time home buyers has been great for us and now I see the bigger plan he had in mind. He knew we had to expand our hearts and fridge space and this is how he prepared us for it.

So, who are the four other people joining us in less than two weeks? None other that my nearly sister-cousin and her three wonderful children. She has had to make a life decision for herself and her kids to move them here with us and we could not be more happy to open our home to them. We don't know how long they will stay, but we will keep them as long as we need to. In all honesty, I am thrilled that she is finally moving back to Colorado! We have been so close our entire lives and now we can raise our children together.

But....I am nervous. How will we adjust? How will this affect Logan? Who's going to cook? How messy will the house be? Maybe these are silly things to worry about, but it is our daily life that will change and we want nothing other than a positive outcome for all of us. I love Her dearly. She is one of my most favorite people and I know that together we will ensure that the transition for our kids is a good one. Logan is essentially getting three playmates! How cool is that?

Why is not important, but I do feel a personal meltdown coming. Not a bad one, just a moment where maybe I'm standing in the shower and it hits me, I sob and move on. At least that is how I hope it happens!

In other news, Logan had the most epic melt down at the school book store on Thursday night over a damn sucker! So here I am, paying for my books and logan is wailing in the stroller and this lady next to us says to him, "oh honey just wait a minute and she'll get it for ya!" o_o are you kidding me? I about strangled her! My kid totally understands what that means so he, of course, just cried harder! I said ha, no I'm not, paid and left as quickly as possible. I almost had a melt down with him.

Remember this...

Logan,

You have become quite the comedian lately and I must write down the silly things you do and say before my brain forgets.

• You love watching Rugrats, or "Babies" as you also refer to it. In the beginning, you always throw your right arm in the air when the Nickelodeon sign appears and bring your arm down as you yell "YES!" excitedly. Then, you say "Ba-baa" after the credits. Really stinking cute.


• When you really want something, like to go to the park, you grab my arm and get really close to my face looking right into my eyes and say "Park, mama?" and give your most convincing puppy dog eyes. I cannot deny your requests!


• In the am when I am saying goodbye, you break my heart every time you say "Mama, stay home. Don't go to work." Ahh! I wish I could love bug! I wish I could!!


• You're best friend is Butte. You two are so close now. She follows you around like her little keeper. You two play together and most of the time, it's perfect. You get a little too rough with her sometimes and we have to make you back off a bit, but otherwise you two are inseparable. She even sleeps in your closet now!


• You're mostly potty trained! HOORAY!! You wear undies all day long, minus your nap and at night time. Oh and pooping. You hold it in until your nap. We'll get there...


• You sing along with me to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and "You Are My Sunshine", the two songs I've been singing to you since you were 3 hours old. You say "twinkle" like "cookie"...makes me wonder if we need to get your hearing checked again for fluid in your ears.


• You show emotion in your voice now. So cute...especially when I say no to a Popsicle and you say "Awww!" without crying over it.


• We've been going down to the river and your favorite thing to do is slide around on the step that's covered in moss as I drag you through the water. Your laugh can me heard for miles.


• You're still a mamas boy, but you and your daddy have been playing rougher lately, like tackling and wrestling...you love it so far!


• You seem to be right handed, but eat with your left.

Mom's Monday Mingle

In an effort to meet more blogging mamas I am linking up today with Julie over at Naptime Review. Can't wait to make more friends! BTW if anyone is specifically from Colorado, please send me an email! Thanks. :) samama8@gmail.com

__

This weekend was wonderful. Friday night B and I watched the Opening Ceremonies for the Olympics and an episode of Breaking Bad. Seriously, could not have been a better night just hanging out together sipping on wine. I love easy we are with each other.

Saturday I spent the morning cleaning the house and my dear friend Carrie (SHORT) from Short and Hat came over for the entire day. It was wonderful. She's an 'ol college friend who just moved into town and after nearly 6 years of very little contact, we are talking more than ever. She's not a mama (yet), but is married to an awesome dude (HAT). He joined us for dinner and I must say it makes my heart so happy when I see my husband make a new friend. There will be many more nights of grilled Italian Chicken with lime-juiced rice, wine, and reminiscing.

Sunday, Logan and I hung out. I could tell he was not feeling too well so we went to the park, picked up some groceries and otherwise watched the Olympics and lots of Barney. He was extra snugly and whiny (the two most obvious indications that he's not quite himself). After his nap, sure enough he had a low fever. After more snuggles, juice and a snack, the fever broke but his cough and extra sneezing is still hanging around. Praying for him to kick this little bug quickly and not to get his best buddy Elliot sick either. Or us for that matter.

Sunday night, B surprised me with a ticket to go and see Chris Carrabba of Dashboard Confessional at the dinky little venue downtown. It. Was. Amazing!! B ended up staying home with Logan and I called another 'ol college buddy and he came along with me. The show was incredible and, best of all, I get to scratch Bucket List item #142 off my list: Be at someone else's marriage proposal. That's right! A sweet guy proposed to his girlfriend. The crowd totally freaked out. I videoed the entire thing and nearly cried myself. She said yes.

This morning was rouuuuugh!! It was as if I was really back in my college days of listening to Dashboard way late at night and getting up early for a class (aka work). My throat is worn from cheering Chris on song after song. Best song? His last one: Hands Down. All this and more made the rough morning more than worth it. I'd do it again, night after night if I could! haha...well, maybe. ;)

Mother's Day Weekend!

This Mother's Day was wonderful! Last year, Logan walked for the first time which made my day! This year, he ran everywhere we went. We spent the morning cooking up some nice brunchy foods and played outside until my parents showed up. We had a great time just talking and enjoying the yummy food!

After lunch, the guys went out to play frisbee golf and we headed to the park. This photo just about kills me! What a handsome face! And with my mama...ahh so happy!

I don't think slides are nearly as fun now as they were when I was a kid! Super bumpy but Logan loved it.

His new favorite thing to do at the park is the teetor-totter (or see-saw...what do you call it?!). We love it!

Another handsome face! He has really gotten into wearing hats and will FINALLY wear this scally cap that his grandparents gave him for Christmas.

Overall, I had a wonderful day! That evening we saw B's mom, brother and his wife. We had a great dinner and chat. So wish we could see them more often! Then B and I had some wine before bedtime and I went to bed a very happy, appreciated and loved mama.

rock, mama

For the last week or so, Logan has asked for us to rock right before going to bed. You know, in his glider of course. It melts my heart. He grabs a blankie or lovie (Elmo tonight) and climbs on my lap facing me, rests his head on my chest and strokes my arm with his hand. Tonight he was especially wired and needed some extra time to settle down for bed. So while I rocked him he told me a very long story about I don't know what. It was all gibberish. But the gibberish was wonderful. His little mouth moving and trying to make perfect sounds, only for this clear thoughts to pass his teeth without a clear understanding (from me). But, for him, it was crystal clear. He was telling me all about his day with his Lolly and playing at school. He told me all about the dogs chasing him outside while he tried to throw water on them and how he asked to wear a coat and then changed his mind, and then changed his mind again. And then again when he came inside and needed help getting the last bit of the zipper unzipped. He told me about how he was in time-out tonight for throwing his cereal on the floor, his hot dogs on the floor, and spitting his juice into the swing. And that he was sorry and sad that he made us sad. But that he reallllly just had to do those things. I rubbed his back and told him I totally get it. Sometimes you just have to do it. Amiright??

When Logan was an infant and I thought about how rocking him to sleep would cause bad sleep habits for him I thought I was doing what was best for us. And I was. He is a great sleeper 98% of the time. I'm not sure if not rocking him to sleep is why he's such a good sleeper, but now that he's asking to be rocked, even if just for 5 minutes, I wish I had spent more time doing that while he was an infant and not worried about what kind of habit, if any, it was forming. Most of his babiness is gone. He's a full blown toddler now and those moments when I get to rock him allow us to sink back into a bliss that existed in his infancy. It's a little different, especially now that he's the one telling me stories, yet perfect. Perfect that I am not so sleep deprived or, dare I say, selfish to say no and make him go to sleep without a rock. Tonight, I have a raging case of tonsillitis and no amount of pain, sickness, or lack of sleep could have kept me from our rock time together.

little big boy

Here is my newborn son at 2 weeks old, fast asleep in the swing his Lolly and Pop gave him. He loved his swing as a baby and as he grew, he grew out of it. When we moved, we packed it into the shed, saving it for out next child.

A month ago, a dear friend asked if I'd watch her son on Saturdays. I was elated! He's 3 months old and the perfect way for me to get my newborn fix. He enjoys his swing at home so we brought out the swing and cleaned it up. Logan, had other plans:

Wow. Big boy loves his swing! I think the fact that he's still below 30 pounds allows him to enjoy it without the fear of breaking it. He loves playing with the buttons for the music and changing the speeds. I love watching him enjoy something that started out as his bed. It was the only way we could get him to sleep at night for the first few weeks which meant we did not get much sleep ourselves.

As a two year old, Logan has grown and changed so much in the last few months. I've been terrible at documenting some of those milestones, so here are just a few:

• Flew a kite all by himself the day before Easter (and LOVED it!)


• Peed in the potty--twice!


• Drinks out of a cup well (but not regularly)


• Puts 2-3 words together (juice mama please)


• knows opposites (up/down, on/off, in/out, hot/cold)


• counts to 3


• learning his colors (gets red right just about every time)


• learning A,B,Cs


• mastered going down the slide without fear


• got a haircut by his auntie m

Some things he's not so fond of:

• His bath....ugh this makes me so sad! He HATES taking a bath now and I have no idea why.


• Doing anything we ask him not to do (aka: NO NO NO!)


• Going to bed by himself. We've never co-slept and suddenly Logan has become very upset at night if I don't lay down with him. I obliged two times (TWO!) and now I started a habit he becomes desperate for.


• Having things put into his nose. We went to the ENT last week and they stuck a camera up his nose to see his adenoids. It was miserable for both of us.


• Waiting for anything. Period.


• Not being in my arms 99% of the time. Okay, 80% but it is exhausting! I love this little man so much but I can barely get the dishes done without him pulling on my leg.

This summer is going to be wonderful. We're going on a family vacation in June and as Logan learns more and more, he becomes more fun. More difficult, too, but it all balances itself out. He's a true blessing!

always remember (part 2)

• On Thursday night it was warm enough for us to take our 2nd family bike ride together. You protested wearing your helmet but as soon as you were in your seat you settled down. I will remember how peaceful you are, how you just soak in the breeze, sounds, and everything around us. The way you wave at everyone we pass and smile with your most beautiful toothy grin. I will remember the way your eyes light up at the sound of going to the park, the way you run around and climb up the steps to the slide and bravely go down the slide over and over again.


• How you eat waffles every single morning while watching Cat in the Hat, how you sing along to the song and really emphasize "go go go!"


• How you've grown out of all your 18-24 month clothes and how you can drink from a grown up cup with little assistance, even if you spill sometimes.


• How you wake up asking to play bubbles outside, how it's the first thing you think about and how much joy bursts from you when we go outside to play with the bubbles.


• The way we say our prayers every night. You, sitting on my lap facing me, heads together and your hands pressed. I say our prayers and you say "Amen" and then "again!" and we say a few more prayers until you feel we're done. You open and close the prayer box around my next, being sure to capture every prayer we say.


• How you lean against your daddy while you two read books, how you point out all the lights, dogs, balloons and much more on every page.


• How your language has absolutly exploded over the last few months, especially how you say "thank you mommy" or "I love you Mommy". Melts my heart!

I love you so much Logan. Thank you for making my life rich.