- Logan has been sick for over 2 weeks now and for a little more than that time he has barely been eating, has diarrhea at least once a day and since his last weigh in 8 days ago he has lost a pound. I took him into see the pedi this afternoon because when we came home from work/daycare he could not put any weight on his right leg. I panicked. I mean full on freaked. I was rushing around to get changed from my work clothes and Logan was crying and could not stand up. I had just seen his doctor at our hospital and knew she was not in the office so I quickly called the office to see what I should do. They had an appointment with the next best doc and we dashed over there. In the mean time, Logan was becoming more tolerable of whatever pain was going on in his leg, baring more weight on it and taking assisted steps. I was beginning to think I was a crazy mama who should have just waited things out but then I thought it was good to take him in anyway. The antibiotics and steroid he was prescribed over a week ago were not making one dent in his cough and overall well being. He spiked a fever of 101.4 on Sat and without motrin it stayed put and he was in my arms all.day.long. Trust me, I LOVE the snuggles and love he has been giving but not at the expense of him feeling shitty. His fever broke sometime yesterday afternoon and I summed it up to be a totally unrelated new virus he brought home. Regardless, his pedi was wayyyy more concerned about the weight loss and lack of appetite so we will be going back in on Friday for a weight check and then about a week after that for his 15 month check up. Oh my stars I am exhausted. I am tired and worried and frustrated that my sweet boy is sick. I've cried off and on all weekend with him.
- I'm still fighting off my cold. Taking care of myself and a sick baby at the same time is next to impossible and explains why I am still just as ill today as I was three days ago. Oy.
- Logan and I did the March of Dimes walk on Saturday and I have a feeling the biting wind did not help whatever virus was just coming on. He was miserable most of the time, crying and sleeping on and off. I was nearly running, although I felt just as bad as he did. I am glad we did it. March of Dimes is a charity I feel very strongly about. I only wish we could have done it under better circumstances and had the same amount of fun most of you had.
- A few of you have asked about my job. First of all: I FREAKING LOVE IT! I love the people and what I'm doing. It is a ton of work and a lot to learn but everyone is so gracious and easy to talk to. I feel 100% comfortable asking for help and even being on my own for most of the time. All I will say is that I now work in a hospital (hence seeing our pedi there today). I've always wanted to work there and it has been an incredible life change. The only sucky part is hearing about the bad stuff. My office looks out to the helipad and according to my coworkers we rarely ever see patients brought in and/or taken away and there were TWO here today. One was for a newborn who died and was revived and flown to Childrens. I was instantly taken back to when Logan was born and how we had know idea what was going on with him. I have been praying for the baby and parents all day and have been extra emotional. I think it's good, though, that I hear about these things now so that I can get a thicker skin for it. That might sound bad but I don't want to be wiping tears away every time I hear a tragic story, especially coming from the L&D or Peds.
- Anyway, that is how things are right now. I wish they were less frantic but heck, that would just be too boring! Ha...hope you're all having a great week so far.
Showing posts with label march of dimes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label march of dimes. Show all posts
Monday, May 2, 2011
the rundown
>I really hate doing these drive by posts but that is just how it is right now.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
March for Babies: Logan's Story
>
I know most of you have read Logan's birth story and outside of that there is not a lot to say about Logan's NICU stay. I tried to be as detailed as I could, but there is more to say.
Anytime I received the March of Dimes letters in the mail asking for donations with a dime in the envelope with cute return address labels I instantly assumed March of Dimes was specifically for babies who were born prematurely. I also assumed that most babies who ended up in the NICU were there for that same reason and or some tragic disease or deformity. I did not educate myself on March of Dimes nor did I participate in any kind of donation or walk. Without a second thought I would pocket that dime and file away the return labels and not take a second thought about it. Now, I feel guilty. I feel like I should have known better.
As most of you know I had a fairly normal pregnancy. There was brief concern that I might go prematurely but Logan hung out in his oven for a full 41 weeks. We were never expecting a big baby and I had no issues with blood pressure or diabetes. My doctors were perfectly happy letting Logan hang out as long as he needed to. Inducing never came up between us. Problems with labor and delivery never came up either. Sure we were aware that "anything can happen" and while we had a fairly specific birth plan our doctors urged us to keep an open mind. Of course if my health or Logan's were to become jeopardized we gave all our faith in not only the doctors but our Great Physician. I prayed and prayed that everything would go smoothly. My greatest fear was dying and leaving B all alone with our son who'd never get to see my face. It nearly killed me. That fear, however, never crossed my mind once labor hit. B was an incredible coach and helped me remain focused throughout all 18 hours of my labor and delivery.
The moment Logan's slippery body emerged and he took his first breath I felt my heart explode. It literally took my breath away. I could not believe that I had just pushed a baby out of me, that I had helped create and grow this other human being. B could not stop saying how beautiful he was. Over and over. I had tears running down the sides of my face, as if they could never stop. I have no idea how many people were in the room, but I do know that the peds team from the NICU was there because there was meconium in Logan's bag of water. That was just protocol. Little did we know necessary their presence quickly became.
I believe that nurses are trained to say the right things at the right time. I clearly remember a soft voice telling me that he was having a little trouble breathing and to put my O2 mask near his face. The mask took over his small dimensions, his eyes squeezed tightly, crying. When I look back at the video and listen to his cry, it is obvious that he is having a hard time taking in a full breath.
Logan and B were both whisked off to the nursery and I was left alone to be cleaned up. Three hours later I saw our new son in the NICU. It is no place any parent ever anticipates their baby ending up, especially a full-term baby. When I tell other mamas that Logan was in the NICU or that I am a NICU mama they all ask how early he was. This, again, was one of those assumptions I had prior to our experience. The NICU mama badge is not a badge I ever wanted to accept or wear proudly as that just seemed so inappropriate. However, I have accepted it and because Logan came home a healthy baby boy 5 days later I do wear it proudly. I hope to never have to be in there again, but I know that is beyond my control. There is NOTHING anyone could have done to prevent Logan from popping a hole in his lung. He just cried so hard with his first breath it was as if you took a water balloon and blew it up until it popped.
Logan is the reason why I am walking in the March for Babies walk on April 30th. Babies born prematurely, babies born with infections, etc...they are why I am going to walk. I know that all across the country that this walk is taking place over the next two weekends. If you have one near you and you have an hour and a half to be inspired, moved and get some exercise then I urge you to also walk. Thank you to Jasmine for already making a donation! If you feel led to, please help me out with my walk! THANK YOU! God bless your babies.
(the first video right after Logan was born. listen to his cry--it's not normal)
I know most of you have read Logan's birth story and outside of that there is not a lot to say about Logan's NICU stay. I tried to be as detailed as I could, but there is more to say.
Anytime I received the March of Dimes letters in the mail asking for donations with a dime in the envelope with cute return address labels I instantly assumed March of Dimes was specifically for babies who were born prematurely. I also assumed that most babies who ended up in the NICU were there for that same reason and or some tragic disease or deformity. I did not educate myself on March of Dimes nor did I participate in any kind of donation or walk. Without a second thought I would pocket that dime and file away the return labels and not take a second thought about it. Now, I feel guilty. I feel like I should have known better.
As most of you know I had a fairly normal pregnancy. There was brief concern that I might go prematurely but Logan hung out in his oven for a full 41 weeks. We were never expecting a big baby and I had no issues with blood pressure or diabetes. My doctors were perfectly happy letting Logan hang out as long as he needed to. Inducing never came up between us. Problems with labor and delivery never came up either. Sure we were aware that "anything can happen" and while we had a fairly specific birth plan our doctors urged us to keep an open mind. Of course if my health or Logan's were to become jeopardized we gave all our faith in not only the doctors but our Great Physician. I prayed and prayed that everything would go smoothly. My greatest fear was dying and leaving B all alone with our son who'd never get to see my face. It nearly killed me. That fear, however, never crossed my mind once labor hit. B was an incredible coach and helped me remain focused throughout all 18 hours of my labor and delivery.
The moment Logan's slippery body emerged and he took his first breath I felt my heart explode. It literally took my breath away. I could not believe that I had just pushed a baby out of me, that I had helped create and grow this other human being. B could not stop saying how beautiful he was. Over and over. I had tears running down the sides of my face, as if they could never stop. I have no idea how many people were in the room, but I do know that the peds team from the NICU was there because there was meconium in Logan's bag of water. That was just protocol. Little did we know necessary their presence quickly became.
I believe that nurses are trained to say the right things at the right time. I clearly remember a soft voice telling me that he was having a little trouble breathing and to put my O2 mask near his face. The mask took over his small dimensions, his eyes squeezed tightly, crying. When I look back at the video and listen to his cry, it is obvious that he is having a hard time taking in a full breath.
Logan and B were both whisked off to the nursery and I was left alone to be cleaned up. Three hours later I saw our new son in the NICU. It is no place any parent ever anticipates their baby ending up, especially a full-term baby. When I tell other mamas that Logan was in the NICU or that I am a NICU mama they all ask how early he was. This, again, was one of those assumptions I had prior to our experience. The NICU mama badge is not a badge I ever wanted to accept or wear proudly as that just seemed so inappropriate. However, I have accepted it and because Logan came home a healthy baby boy 5 days later I do wear it proudly. I hope to never have to be in there again, but I know that is beyond my control. There is NOTHING anyone could have done to prevent Logan from popping a hole in his lung. He just cried so hard with his first breath it was as if you took a water balloon and blew it up until it popped.
Logan is the reason why I am walking in the March for Babies walk on April 30th. Babies born prematurely, babies born with infections, etc...they are why I am going to walk. I know that all across the country that this walk is taking place over the next two weekends. If you have one near you and you have an hour and a half to be inspired, moved and get some exercise then I urge you to also walk. Thank you to Jasmine for already making a donation! If you feel led to, please help me out with my walk! THANK YOU! God bless your babies.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)