Nothing Short of a Miracle

Imagine the day you found out you were going to become a mother for the first time, or the second or third. Imagine the butterflies you felt, the smile you saw spread across your husbands face and the joy you felt every time your babe rolled around, telling you in his most special way that "I'm here". Thinking of these priceless moments brings tears to my eyes. Pregnancy was one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced, no matter how achy or huge I felt, it was all worth it.

On Saturday morning I arrived at the hospital promptly at 0655am (everything is in military time!). Moments later I received a call that a woman came into the hospital and delivered a baby so quickly we had no time to register her. A few hours later I was went up to have mom sign a few things and get on my way. In the mean time we had been hearing how crazy this labor was, but no details. As the nurse was giving me her room number I asked what had been so crazy about it. This mama had come into the hospital fully expecting to deliver a baby without a heartbeat. Two months earlier she was told her baby had no fetal heart tones. Imagine the pain she must have been feeling from the second she heard those words. You can't. I can't. I cannot even fathom how the blood must have drained from her head and how she probably cried every single day up until she felt the first pain of labor. You can only wrap your head around something like that so much without actually having experiencing and no one should ever have to experience something like that.

My heart sank. For a split second I felt faint and considered sending someone else in to have her sign the forms. But that was not the case. No, this mama, by the grace of God, delivered a HEALTHY, THRIVING, baby girl. She had perfect APGARS and did not even need attention in the NICU. I quite literally gasped. And then I laughed. Joy, relief. I don't know which had me in a fit of tearful excitement that this tragedy turned into the most incredible miracle I have ever heard of. Amazement. I knocked on her door, entered the room and smiled at her. Glanced at her mother holding her granddaughter and smiled again. Mama was beside herself.

And that is why I want to be a midwife.

Milestones

>It is amazing to think that one year ago this is what Logan looked like:

His blue eyes were still a deep, dark ocean and his hair was still new and soft. He was still suffering from baby acne and as you can see he swam in his 0-3 month clothing. He wasn't rolling over and was just learning how to smile. Amazing that this is what he looks like now:

Handsome as ever, chewing on a pen. His hair is still soft, although food ends up in it on a daily basis and his eyes now have a greenish tint to them. No more baby acne and even before he is 14 months old he is in mostly 18 month clothing. What a ham. I am so proud to be his mother, though each day can bring along trying moments. All those frustrating moments disappear the moment he smiles at me and says "Mama".

A friend over at Butterflies wrote a beautiful post today. Most of you may even know her. Baby Scarlett, Brandi's beautiful daughter, was diagnosed just before turning 3 months old with brain cancer. While this might be the most devastating news a parent could hear (next to the WORST news, of course), she has kept her chin up as a mother and Scarlett is growing like a weed now. Here are her words from today's post:

I don't know if it is a universal thing, but I find that modern parenting in very milestone-focused.  We are constantly looking for what physical or developmental milestones our children are hitting, and use it as bragging rights among other parents when they are even slightly ahead of the curve.  The October baby message board that I am a member of is overwhelmingly full of moms boasting about their child's latest progress, so eager for their babies to be done with babyhood faster than their neighbors.  There are countless calenders and schedules for when babies should hit each mark, week-by-week points that we feel we should match. I have seen this as a teacher, too, as people push their kids to be more physically, emotionally or intellectually advanced than others, and don't understand why other kids can't do what theirs can.  This puts a huge amount of pressure on those whose kids don't fit the same schedule.

Brandi did such a great job putting into words something I so often thing about. All children, even without a medical issue, meet milestones at different stages. As a new parent, you're constantly worried if there might be something wrong with your child because he's not saying the same things that another child is saying who is the same age. Logan meets all his milestones, but not necessarily when other children his age are. For example, the normal age for children to begin to walk is anywhere between 9 and 18 months, but when my child is 14 months and most of his friends his age are walking it makes that stat seem out of whack. But it's not. Logan is right on track and while I would love to see him toddle across the room I am in no rush for him to walk. He's not ready yet. He's also not really talking either. The only things he says are "Mama" and "Dada". That's it. Everything else is babble. I would love to hear other words clearly roll of his tongue but he's just not there yet.

My point is that I am learning to be okay with where Logan is at, even if he's not doing what other children his age are doing. He is so smart. He can mimic just about anything you do with your face or head. He understands the things we say and he is quite the charmer. I would not want him any other way. My prayer for all of us moms out there is that we stop worrying about what our child should be doing and rather that we praise what they are doing.