Before I go any further, I want to be clear that I am in no way meaning to judge or disrespect anyone. That said, there is a chance that is how this is going to sound. As I said above, if you are being physically abused or abusive, that in no way is acceptable. Furthermore (and totally unrelated), we (B and I) do NOT believe in spanking. K, let's move on.
Let's start with a definition: (credit)
A Domestic Discipline (DD) marriage is one in which one partner is given authority over the other, and has the means to back up that authority, usually by spanking. The application and practise of DD in each marriage is as unique as the individuals who make up that marriage.
Now, if you're anything like me and B, we heard this (or rather, I read it from another blog) and our jaws dropped in a somewhat mocking manner. Spanking?? Your wife?? Really?? I mean, is that even allowed? I know that the lines turn grey here because it is considered okay for parents to discipline their children with spankings. Okay, I get it. However, every blog I have recently come across where woman are the victims (YES, I said VICTIMS!) of this kind of behavior, they state why they are being spanked, with what, for how long and how much pain they are in afterwards, both physically and emotionally. Let me just tell you that my whole heart broke for these woman. To think that this is an OKAY way to have a marriage with someone who is supposed to love you and treat you as an equal is just not cool. So sure, B and I joked about it all weekend saying, "Oh man B, I screwed up. Looks like you're gonna have to spank me!" And we'd chase each other around the house playfully.
The sad part is, there is nothing playful about this. If this is something that is apart of your intimate relationship, great. Keep it to yourself. I don't want to hear or read about it. But as a form of punishment? I don't think so! So what are these women being punished for?
- Swearing, back-talking, disrespect, etc.: mouth washed out with hot sauce or soap
- Doing something dangerous, making plans without permission, spending more than X amount of money without permission, speeding/getting a ticket/traffic warning, etc: Time out in the corner (sometimes naked), letter of apology, lecture and lastly, spanking (bare bottom, bare hand "warm up", then to the paddle, belt, switch for 15-50 (they loose count!) spanks!!!)
If you ask me, it just sounds like good 'ol DH just needs a fun excuse to get the switch out on the wifey, show his male dominance, control and head-of-household manly-man status. Also, many of these woman (and guests posts from DH) make the excuse more than once that this is no way is "like how you treat a 5 year old". Ummm last I checked that is exactly how five year olds are treated when they misbehave! (minus the spanking in our house). Go ahead and take that in for a moment. I'll wait....
In my efforts to respect the blogs of the woman whom I have been reading about, there are no links to their blogs. However, if you're interested I am sure that Google can help you out. The whole point of this post is to share how B and I DO NOT run our household, rather we have Intimate Negotiations. We might raise our voices, swear, back-talk, get cranky and disrespectful, and so on, but we always work it out. We want the best for each other. We are a team and nothing less. If you or someone you know is in this kind of situation, I am curious to know more. I want to understand why this is so acceptable with a growing number of newlyweds. Help me out here and thanks for reading!
Happy Monday!
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