>DON'T TOUCH ME!!!

>

I see this week quickly becoming a repeat offender and I am not going to take it well.

1) My heart and my head cannot make up it's damn mind about the effing H1N1 shot and no, I don't want your opinion. I have heard everyone and their dog's opinion and right now, I just want to EFFING FORGET ABOUT IT!!!

2) It is too damn early for me to be this exhausted from work. Seriously? I can't even stand in the kitchen for 20 minutes to make a *decent* meal for my starving baby and husband. I am officially a shitty mom already.

3) STOP THE WATER WORKS! I get that crying can be healthy, but multiple times a day, for days and days and days....is NOT EFFING HEALTHY! B tells me last night that he loves me, and I cry! I CRIED!! The worst part is it made me sad for some reason. Of course I love him. Of course I know he loves me. WTF?!

4) Everything else. It could be the stupid high schoolers that take too long crossing the street so I can't turn to get home so I can have a giant glass of water I have been depriving my body of all day because I have not had a chance to get a glass myself at work. Or it could be something else...

Dear Anxiety,

This is your favorite person, Sarah here, just wondering when you might BACK THE EFF off?? I know we have become buds in the past and 4 years is a long time to go without really saying hi face to face but you know, I am having a baby here and I would really like to stay sane enough to enjoy the whole experience. Your incessant nagging about the damn vaccine issue, the fear of driving, the way you make me beat myself up for making a mistake so small it does not even classify as a mistake is really starting to turn me into the person, aka pregnant woman, I never wanted to be. So, graciously step back into that black whole you pulled ourself out of and leave me the eff alone or there will be war. Consider this a fair warning.

Signed,

Yours Truly

***Folks, if this is not proof enough of how I feel right now, I don't know what is so don't expect a 24 week picture unless there is a miracle..**

On the somewhat happy side of life:

I have new maternity clothes that I cannot wait to wear.

B is grocery shopping for me as we speak and calls me to check if we need something.

The dogs love me.

My baby loves me.

And B loves me.

(Jesus too!)

(I know, I just needed to vent.)