getting started

Today was my first official day without gluten. What's amazing is how aware of food I have become and I'd be lying if I said this did not cause me some major stress and anxiety. The last few days I spent scowering sites about becoming gluten-free, how to shop, printing out lists of foods not to eat, foods to eat...I mean my head was spinning in this mess of changes

Normally I welcome change with open arms. This change, however, is asking me to divorce all the foods I love. I have not cried yet. Logan has been fighting a cold and that distraction has prevented me from loosing my shit all over the place. BUT, I'm sure it's coming. The worst part I'm sure is not cheating. Our hospital makes the most amazing cookies everyday and it's all I can do not to eat one!!

One of the blogs I stumbled upon made it very clear NOT to do two things: do not make a list of all the things you CAN"T eat, rather a list of the things you can and do not go out and buy every gluten-free product on the selves, especially at an expensive store, like Whole Foods. I had already started doing the first, making a list. My memory is not what it used to be pre-baby and it will take me time to remember what's okay and what's not. Shopping was an easy one. Our grocery store has gluten-free foods on every aisle. If you're looking for GF pasta, then it will be on the pasta aisle. I like that AND I'm sure it's a little cheaper than the organic markets. Still, it's a few extra dollars.

Logan and I headed to the store this morning because the only thing I could eat in the house was eggs and I needed more! Don't forget, I am also avoiding dairy which is what all the GF sites say is just fine. Well, for me it's not. Shopping went well and I only picked up a few things like cereal and pasta, staples in our home.

Today I only had some pains in the afternoon after a nap. This is what I ate:

• tuna mixed with relish, mayo, salt and pepper with a pickle (no crackers or bread)


• avocado with salt and pepper


• a piece of mint gum


• mashed red potatoes with white gravy


• GF 7 layer bar

So far, no pains tonight. I really just think it's a fluke BUT if no pains is from me eating GF, then PRAISE THE LORD!

a troubled tummy

I have not received my official diagnosis from the (lack of) findings from both of my procedures, however, I did read my pathology report. Just call it one of those perks of working in a hospital. As I said before, my visual reports were good: healthy and normal. No ulcers, polyps, cancer, etc...which is all good news. And, honestly, what I expected.

It's been over two weeks now and that "7-10 days" for results rule is out the window. So I read my own report, which is not breaking any rules (goodie-two-shoes here!), and the only diagnosis I found among all the medical terminology is that I do have some form of GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease). It's like acid reflux, but worse and in my case most likely chronic. Again, I have not been given my official diagnosis. This is just what I know from the report. More good things: I don't have Celiacs, Chrons, of H-Pilori bacteria, among other stomach-related diseases. I'm so glad for that.

BUT.

I still want an answer!! GERD is not curable, rather, it's managed by very strict dietary changes. I also suspect IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) or it's evil twin Irritable Bowel Disorder (IBD). I'm not sure which is which and what the differences are, but neither are curable either. Changing the way I eat along side medication (at least for now-until the pains subside) is what I'm going to have to do. There is still a chance my doctor could call on Tuesday and say none of the above and diagnose me with something else, or nothing at all and continue tests. I'd really like an of my gallbladder, just to be sure.

So this is where we sit. I've been mentally preparing myself for major dietary changes and when I say major I mean MONUMENTAL. 98% of the things I eat now are irritants. Irritants of GERD, IBS, IBD, and so on...nothing I've been eating as been good for me, even if you and everyone else might consider it healthy (ie: a salad).

Here's a taste (pun very much intended!) of what I have to avoid. And just for kicks I will also be eliminating gluten. Why? Well...why not?? I know a hand full of people who do not have celiac but some other ailment and going gluten free has improved their issue.

No...

• caffeine


• chocolate


• alcohol


• soda


• acidic foods


• spicy foods


• milk, cheese, yogurt, etc (no lactose, period.)


• wheat/barely


• fermentable foods (watermellon, avocado...)


• sugars (glucose...)


• anything deep-fried/breaded (french fries, boneless chicken wings)

Doesn't that look like fun!! :::enter sarcasm:::

Thank you, my dear readers, for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers through this whole mess. I truly hope that once I get things under control that I will be a much better, happier person and blogger. I'm not inspired to write about anything else for now. Until then I will keep you all updated on how things turn out. There is always a chance that none of this will work and that something else is going on. I hope that's not the case.

Have a great weekend!

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HERE

In a Nut Shell

I froze yogurt-covered strawberries and have yet to try one.

B and I had ourselves a date night on Sunday.

We saw Breaking Dawn and I thought it was great.

We ate at my favorite Italian restaurant.

I had butter-nut squash ravioliis, my fave.

Logan learned how to raise his left eye brow (video to come).

I have not caught Tulo on the couch in over a week.

I finally caught up with my cousin on the phone. I love her.

My stomach still hurts.

I'm still waiting for results.

I love Thanksgiving.

I made Paula Dean's Pumpkin Butter Cake (post on that soon, too!).

B is going back to school soon!

Logan loves opening and closing my prayer box around my neck.

I'm excited for crafty-time at MOPS tomorrow.

I have a lot of laundry to fold.

I probably won't fold it.

I'm thankful for all of you, my dear readers, for sticking with me.

21 Questions is taking a break this week so I need someone for next Thursday...otherwise I'm going to pick on someone. ;)

Have a safe, fun Thanksgiving!! (to all my Canadian readers-just have a great week!)

the devil car

I do not normally associate inanimate objects with emotions, but we are certain that a car we had for nearly seven months was indeed possessed. I say this with a half-joking manner because I only half believe it myself.

For almost a year B and I managed as a one car family without too many issues. When I got my new job, there was no way we could operate without another car. My schedule varies and working around B's solid schedule would have been very difficult. So we started to skim craigslist ads. We even went to Denver for a day to check out used cars and came up without any luck. Our budget was very small. We were only seeking a town car that was safe for little man.

I was working one of my last shifts at my previous jobs when B called to announce he had found a car, test-drove it, and bought it. I had no idea what kind of clunker he was bringing home. I was just relived that we now had two forms of transportation! He drove the 1987 blue-green Volvo Wagon over to my work and explained all of the things he had to fix: the radiator and water pump were the biggies. But, B said, I know what I'm doing! I put all my unwavering trust into my husband. He has worked on many cars and I truly believed he knew what he was doing. However, the car had other ideas.

B worked every night to fix the radiator and water pump and three weeks later it was still sitting in the parking lot. I finally put my no-ifs-ands-or-buts face on and said we're taking it to the shop. Period. Aside from those two major issues, there were also some electrical glitches. If the battery had not been warmed up it and we needed to use the head lights, the dash lights would not work.

Long story short (or not!), we dropped $300 to have the bigger repairs done and without a second thought conceded that the car was fine. Sure, the car was fine, but it's presence in our lives brought so much negativity. The deal on our house fell through, I was scammed, Tulo had a terrible accident, and we were broke. All this within five months of the car entering our lives. Fast forward to Halloween weekend. My good friend Amy is 30 weeks pregnant and she was concerned about some pains she was having. Her husband was working and it was a Sunday so I offered to take her to urgent care. We decided to stop by her house to grab a stroller since mine was in B's car. As we turned into her neighborhood the car over-heated and died. I called B and he said he was on his way but to pour water into the radiator while we waited for him. Amy's concern was not an emergency so it was okay that we had to wait 20 minutes for B to arrive. He stayed with the car while I took Amy to urgent care.

B discovered a leak. After the car cooled down he was able to get it home before it over-heated again. I put Logan down for a nap and it finally occurred to both of us: this car is really bad mojo! Without a second thought we decided to sell the car for whatever someone might be willing to pay and then, somehow, buy another car. We had no idea how we were going to buy another car but we had to, even if it meant borrowing money, which we hate doing.

Halloween night after all the fun I placed an ad on craigslist. I received a few responses and wanted to wait another day before responding. On Tuesday, I sent an email out to my coworkers asking if anyone had a car they needed to sell. I knew that buying a car from someone I knew was safer than online. I knew they'd be honest with me about any ongoing issues, etc. In the mean time, B was setting up a time for a guy to come over and buy the car for parts. That was all it was good for.

That afternoon I received a response from someone who wanted to give us her car. She said it had not been on the road for year, but was in otherwise good condition. We needed to buy a battery and get the brakes checked. That was it. I was in tears! I could not believe how selfless this person was to give us her car! We offered to pay her something but she would not take it, stating that she was going to donate it anyway and was glad she could help us out. The devil car, as we started to call it, was not even out of our sight before good things started to happen. I got a call about the scam-I am going to get a refund! We had no idea if Tulo would run again-he ran through the park with Butte a few nights ago! My insurance was not going to pay for my procedures until they received a statement from my previous insurance that it was not a pre-existing condition-done and done! (while I've had stomach issues for a long time, it's been undiagnosed the entire time).

Wednesday night was a blizzard so we waited until Thursday afternoon to pick up the car. We took care of the title at the court house and again, I cried in my car on the way home. I always feel so blessed by everything God has given me, but I could not wrap my head around how much gratitude I had for this woman GIVING us her car. I'm still in shock. I just know that when we get the chance some day we will pay all these good deeds forward. There is no other way to spread love and joy in this world than by doing just that.

The devil car meant so little to me that I never even took a picture. The car we were given needs a major bath. I've taken it through the car wash and nothing came off!

I pray that in this season of giving that no matter what the need, you seek to help someone out, big or small, just to keep spreading that love a joy.

21 Questions with Rachel

Happy Thursday everyone! I'm really beginning to look forward to this day of the week! I'm happy to share a dear blog friend with you all. Rachel from B & R Plus One More and I found each other through blogging a few years ago while we were both pregnant with our first babies. Ella and Logan are only a week apart and even though we both live in Colorado, we have yet to meet. People, Rachel is a true mountain woman, living way way up there with all the wind and snow. She's also got another little babe on the way! Hop on over to check her out.

1. What is your #1 bucket list to-do item? To watch Ella meet her little sister come February.


2. What is the worst injury/illness you’ve ever had?   I had a weird strain of Mono my junior year of HS, it took 6 months and weekly blood tests to find. Yuck!


3. Do you collect anything? Not really, I used to collect Barbies when I was younger, that stopped a while ago though. Now if someone would just tell that to my mother so I wouldn't get a Barbie every year for Christmas. Ha!


4. What is your guilty pleasure TV show? Keeping Up With The Kardashians and 19 Kids & Counting. I'm miserably addicted.


5. What is the most special thing your spouse has ever done for you? My husband is pretty awesome and he does special things every day. The best little thing lately though is he's been taking over the cooking. I have NO energy this pregnancy and he has been awesome at taking over things like that.


6. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes, I absolutely do.


7. What does your exercise routine look like? Walking up the stairs at work. ha! I have an exercise bike in my office, it gets used far too infrequently.


8. If you could witness an event past, present or future, what would it be? I think I would have to agree with Sarah's answer on this, I was completely captivated by the royal wedding and would have loved to have been there!


9. If you could change anything about your high school/college experience what would it be? High School, definitely study more. College, stick with it. I left not so long in to college to move to Colorado. I don't regret moving here as it was for the man I eventually married, but I would like to go back to school some day.


10. What season do you enjoy most? Summer for the weather and Fall for the colors!


11. What celebrity do you most look like? I don’t think i look like any celebrity, I've been told Gwyneth Paltrow but that was before I had kids and kept my chubby face. Haha


12. What band/singer are you enjoying most right now? Blake Shelton, I puffy heart him!


13. Do you implement any of the things your parents taught you into your parenting style? I think I will implement a few things that I was taught by my parents. It's important to instill the values that your grew up with in to your children, as long as you believe in them.


14. What is/are your family traditions? Oh man,celebrating holidays to the fullest! I love that Ella is old enough to really enjoy books. We do a Christmas book advent calendar. Wrap up 24 books and place them in a basket, each night of the advent she can open 1 book and we'll read it together. Such a fun way to count down!


15. What is the best parenting advice you’ve ever received? Kids are put here to test your patience, remain calm!


16. What was the best gift ever given to you/that you gave? I think it will be the same answer for both given and received, my children. I think they are (and will be) the best gifts my husband and I could ever give each other.


17. Have you and your spouse written a will? No, but we absolutely need to, especially with a 2nd child on the way.


18. If you could change one thing about your wedding day what would it be? Not giving Brad the keys to my car. We couldn't afford a DJ so I stayed up until 2 am the night before our wedding making mixed CD's, including our first dance song. We didn't dance because Brad locked my keys in my car! Ha!


19. What have you done that you said you’d never do as a parent? I put Ella down for bed with a sippy of milk! Gasp! I know this is bad but this is how she goes to bed now.


20. How long have you been married? It was 5 wonderful years on October 7th.


21. Do you want more children? We are undecided, I would LOVE 3 kids, that has always been my number. Brad is fine with the 2 we have (are expecting), but I would also love to have a 3rd shot at getting a little Mama's boy. =)

almost done

Sorry I've kept you all hanging. This was a rough weekend. Friday was my procedure. In case you forgot, I had a colonoscopy and an upper endoscopy. Thursday morning I had my "last supper": one egg over medium and biscuits with gravy. YUM! That was at 9am and for the rest of the day I drank a lot of water and some chicken broth. By the afternoon I felt very hungry. When I get hunger pains, it increases the general abdominal pains that are already there so I was miserable from then on.

I will spare you all the other details of the evening. I was so dehydrated I felt delirious, dizzy, nausious...when I don't eat I get super low blood sugar and even the sugars in the vitamin waters was not enough to make me feel better. I literally felt sick. I was able to get 5-6 hours of uninterrupted sleep, which was nice. I was not expecting that. B got up with Logan so I could sleep until it was time to leave. I managed a shower and some hellos to B's mom who so graciously came up to stay with Logan so B could be with me. Seriously, I have the best mother in law.

We were late. I hate being late. But we had to get gas and drive across town to the surgery center. My head was pounding and even though it had been 26 hours since I had eaten anything, I wasn't even hungry. B was asking me where I wanted to go eat after and I settled on Noodles. Nothing like comfort food to make me feel better.

I checked in and waited. Here is where the anxiety of being drugged to sleep started to wonder into my thoughts. I continued to pray and hold B's hand. He reassured me that everything would be okay and I had to start believing it because there was no going back. The nurse came to get me and B sat with us while she went over a few things. Then he was excused and I was left to undress (totally!) and wait some more. I had an IV placed in my hand and the best part was that she numbed the area BEFORE putting the IV in. I felt nothing. The anesthesiologist came and talked to me about my history and what to expect. Everyone was so calm and reassuring. I was rolled back to the room, nothing more than a glorified office with a giant TV screen. We waited for the doctor to arrive. She was so kind. As she was talking to me, the anesthesiologist put some medicine in my IV that made me feel like I was going to pass out. This was the worst part. I already felt so light-headed from being so dehydrated and I told them I was going to pass out. They both just told me to relax and close my eyes. That's the last thing I remember.

Forty-five minutes later I was back in recovery. B was there and I heard him telling me he loved me. I barely opened my eyes and told him I was dreaming. Seriously, best sleep in a long time! I can't remember the dream, but it was good. It took forever for me to wake up. I felt so tired and just wanted to go back to sleep. The drug wore off quickly and I became more alert. We waited for the doctor to come and go over everything with us. When she did, she showed me the pictures she took of my esophagus, stomach, etc. Everything looked healthy. No weird growths or infections. So now we wait. We wait for the biopsy results. She took several in different places to rule out cialiacs and crohns disease, as well as h-pilori bacteria, among other things. I will hopefully know something by Friday, but it could take as long as next Wednesday.

I tell you, friends, I am so glad that day is over with. I think I thought that once it was done that my pain would go away, but it hasn't. My weekend was spent on the couch watching Vampire Diaries. I'm obsessed! B has been so wonderful in taking care of me. So, we're almost done. Almost to the finish line.