>28 Weeks

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I've been a little MIA, I realize. This is something not so much intentional as it is me just being too lazy to take the time to post. I feel like over the past week my pregnancy has suddenly become huge. Everything about it: my belly, the back pain, the clothes (mostly tightening), my appetite, my weight, and my laziness. I am a complaining, begging, whining, weeping, tired, achy, sorry self. I took time to tell B last night how I thought I was becoming this terrible wife, always asking him for help and complaining about the pains and whatnots that bother me and he just puts up with it. He looked at me and told me I was being silly and to stop feeling so damn sorry for myself. That is how amazing my husband is. He even told me he does not think I am a terrible person and that he understands it's mostly hormones. I swear people, I have NO IDEA how I got so damn lucky!! It is hard for me to accept that yes, the hormones turn me into this nasty person sometimes. I don't want to use that excuse and I don't want to become someone B and others really don't like anymore and that is where my self pitty keeps running around in circles. But let's move on...

I am not going to use this post to complain. What I will say is that on a scale of 1-10 back pain wise, we have tipped into the teens. I am laying on the couch and here I shall stay.

I wish I had more exciting things to talk about other than my pregnancy, but really, that is all I can think about nowadays. So I won't bore you will all that stuff. I'm healthy, baby boy is healthy, and our dogs are super.

>Let's be honest here...

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I'm not holding back so watch out.

I feel like someone took a baseball bat to my vag. Yes, I said vag. It EFFING hurts and I can hardly walk or stand. The worst part is I caused this unbearable pain. Now why would I do such a thing? Well, bloggies, here is what happened:

Every so often, sometimes every day, sometimes once a week (you never know for sure) I have to respond to emergencies at work. This entails me getting a signal through an alert or a phone call that someone needs help and off I go. Well, I can't really run anymore and responding to such situations quickly is very important. So I walked as fast as my long legs and big belly would let me. Our building is huge and there was no elevator to help me out with this one. I raised my blood pressure, my adrenaline, and ended up calling 911. This is something I am very comfortable doing, but regardless, it gets your heart going every time. You just want so bad for things to be okay. So then back to the desk I waddled to wait for the EMTs and then back down the hall again. I did not take a break or sit down for nearly 30 minutes and now MY BODY IS PROTESTING. I now know for sure I really inflamed the RLP and brought back Mr. Sciatica so here I lay, in bed, hoping SOMEONE will post some videos from last nights Hanson show that I did not go to. Let's not forget how depressed I still am. Oh but at least I could sell the tickets. I was getting worried when Sunday rolled around and still nothing.

Today started off great and while my mood is still okay, I just feel like I got run over by a truck so if I bite your head off just ignore it. Gracias.

>Speachless

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Fun with Wordle.net

>The Power of Prayer

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You're all amazing. The last two days have been GREAT! I have had hardly any RLP (of course, after going to the doc...lol) and have so much peace! Let me back up a bit. I went to the doc on Tuesday because I was convinced the terrible pain I was experiencing was in no way RLP. I had to hear it again to be sure that there was nothing else going on. That day I had been bent over in pain that was radiating into my back and I had enough. I made an appointment for right after work, picked up B and we were on our way. We got to the office and waited only a few minutes. They had asked me to not pee so I could give a urine sample to check for an infection so I really could not wait to get that over with. The nurse took us back, I peed, and we waited. My BP was 110/66 which is where it has been the majority of my pregnancy and I had gained only half a pound in the last week.

Before checking my urine the nurse asked me if I wanted the H1N1 vaccine. WHOAH! That came out of left field! I was so not expecting that and looked at B. We had not made a decision about that yet and had spent the night before with my parents talking about everything. I have been plagued by this decision for nearly 3 months going back and forth as to why I should or should not get it. Due to the increase in my anxiety these days, I really needed to find some peace with this. It was not something I wanted to keep mulling over and we made a decision.

I got the vaccine and I feel great about that decision. It was something that I felt in my heart and B was very supportive. I am writing this mearly for journaling's sake and I do not want to open a can of worms here. If you know me personally, I would be happy to talk about it, but I do not want to be patronized or criticized. If you disagree, please keep it to yourself. I am sorry if that sounds harsh, but I am keeping all negative things out of sight, out of mind as much as possible. I prayed over this for months, daily to find peace and I have it now.

The doc came back in and urine was clean. No infections which is great. And yes, I just happen to have a severe form of RLP. So I finally caved and took some IB profin, as recommend of course, and while it took some time to kick in, I was finally starting to feel better. I took a bath, B gave me a back rub, we practiced the relaxing methods we have learned from Bradley and within and hour I was on my feel making the best chili ever.

Baby L has been jumping around like crazy. I can almost pinpoint the time of day when he will start to stir and when he will quiet down and since he is so active during the day I am praying it will stay that way when he arrives.

Some prayer requests:

1) Continued prayer for the RLP to stay at bay. It may have been great the last few days, but it can still rear it's ugly head.

2) A coworker of mine was just put on bed rest due to preeclampsia at 32 weeks. She and baby are doing well, just needs to slow down. Pray she stays strong and finds small things to keep her mind busy at home.

3) Stellan. You all know who I'm talking about and if you don't, click on his button on the right side of the page. He is very VERY sick with SVT and what may or may not be something else. And today he is celebrating his 1 year birthday in a hospital bed. Poor guy. Pray his family can stay strong and positive.

4) More snow! I know, I am a FREAK! I love the snow. We have about 28 inches since yesterday and it is SO beautiful! On that note, pray people drive safely in the snow. Some dumbass decided to drive DRUNK last night and cause a MAJOR rollover accident last night. Seriously??

5) Lift up your prayer requests. I want to pray for you folks as well. You all mean a lot to me. I hope you are all doing well. Take Care!

Love, S.

>26 Weeks

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{friday morning sunrise}

How far along? 26 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: roughly 22 pounds
Maternity clothes? yep, loving my yoga pants!

Sleep: this past week was a challenge. one night i would sleep well, and then the next it was the worst night ever. more or less due to the INSANE RLP I've been having...
Best moment this week: sitting on the couch with B WATCHING my belly move
Movement: this kid is a break dancer. I am pretty much tell when he is up and when he is sleeping now.
Food cravings: sweets, milk, pizza, pancakes
Gender: BOY!!
Labor Signs: nope. I was checked last week due to the pain RLP was causing and we are solid. no worries there!
Belly Button in or out? in, but not for long
What I miss: sleeping comfortably through the night. i am not sure if this will ever happen again.
What I am looking forward to: starting 3rd tri next week!
Weekly Wisdom: trust my guts, no matter what the news or other people say. I know what God has planned, I just need to listen and trust in it.

I feel like I have been on a roller coaster all week. Let's start with Monday. I passed my glucose test which was great. Found out I had gained almost 6 pounds in 4 weeks. Wowza. And the round ligament pain (RLP) continued. I have been dealing with this for about 3 weeks now. When I first called the nurse she said it was most likely baby boy's position: sitting like a V with his butt wedged into my pelvic region. So. Uncomfortable. So I tried yoga, and walking, and even had my mom talk to him to get him to move around. He did. YAY! Did the pain go away? NO! Sure it helped having him move, but the general pain was still there and the intensity would fluctuate from mild to intense. Today, it's mild. But Saturday? I thought I was being stabbed in my thighs. Yep, that pain radiates all the way into my inner thighs making it nearly impossible to stand or walk. I begged B to bring me some IB Profin to which he gave me a giant guilt trip about how my body is "preparing for labor and that while it sucks, I should just hang in there...". Right. So I ate some lunch and the pain did subside...long enough for me to get home from work to lay on the couch, fearing the possibility of more pain. It came and went and I did actually get through it without taking anything. Yay me. Our Bradley class is really rubbing off on B. While he might not admit it, I know he is really enjoying the class. We really are learning so much and it has become a special time for us together.

I went nearly 2 weeks without crying and then it hit me again about mid week that I was, and still am, quite sad about having to sell my Hanson tickets. While this might sound lame, they do happen to be the band I grew with up and the band I still love. Why am I not going? It's a tough one. I have yet to get the H1N1 vac (one which I am still not sure I WILL get) and so to keep healthy I have just been avoiding all these very heavily populated areas where people go to even when they are sick. B has even been doing the grocery shopping, which is awesome, and I think last night was the last time we will be going out to dinner. It sucks, but it is a sacrifice worth taking to protect me and my baby. I hate getting sick and would hate it even more if I did while pregnant. That is why I am making this sacrifice of not going to to the show. I know it is the best decision, but I hate feeling like I am going to miss them. I went last year and it was the best show I had been to in a VERY long time. My entire soul was on fire. It was incredible. B has promised that the next time they are in town we will go. He is the best husband ever and is even a little sad for me that I am doing this. But I lost it the other day. I cried over Hanson, like I was 13 all over again. Oy.

I had a giant urge to nest yesterday so I gathered all the bottles we have been given so far, washed them and stored them in the kitchen with all the bibs we have gotten as well. We are making room for baby and it feels SO GOOD! I was on top of laundry like I never have been before. The house is clean. Could not ask for anything better! I hope you have all had a great weekend. Take care and God Bless!

>22 Pounds

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Wow. I really don't remember what it was like to not be pregnant. What I mean is, my body is not my own any more. I am a vessel and it has adapted to the new life growing inside me right before my eyes. The picture on the right was just a few days after we found out we were expecting-barely 5 weeks and the next one was just last week at 24 weeks.

Nearly 20 weeks has passed and my body is so different. Not only have I gained a total of 22 pounds, I have gained a completely new frame of mind. I am no longer thinking just about myself. Every choice I make is no longer just about me and what I want. It is about what I need and want for the baby. What I deem is best. Sure I make most of these choices right along side B but in the end it is me that is responsible for the outcome. I really am having a hard time remembering what it was like before baby. I know it was not that long ago, but damn I am a different person already. Not

yet a mom, but not who I was before....hanging out in limbo. My urge to be a mother is being fulfilled as each day passes and as baby L's kicks get a little harder and my belly gets a little bigger. I am going to be a mother. WOW! It is seriously mind-blowing. I wonder how my change is changing B. I can see it in his face and the way he looks at me--he is thrilled! He can't wait to be a father. It is a look I have never seen before and one I hope to never forget. Sometimes I don't like the way I behave or whine but I seriously can't help it at times and B seems to know no different. He hugs me, kisses me, rubs my feet, wipes my tears away, tells me I'm not crazy, tells me I am sexier than ever, hold me when I am sad....it goes on and on. It's not that he never did these kinds of things before. The difference is that he just does it. He does not groan when I ask him to play with my hair and the best part is he says he loves doing it. What wife would not want that?! He is incredible! We are changing together and while his change is on the inside and mine is seen more on the outside, it is a change that is brining us closer together than I ever could have imagined. I love him so much my heart explodes with joy. I could just cry at any moment over how happily in love I am with my husband. So while I may weigh 22 pounds heavier than I was 6 months ago, there is a priceless, countless amount of love flowing between us now and his name is baby L.

>25 Week Baby Shower

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Hello Sister Friends!!

I have been in the BEST mood for the last several days and I cannot thank you all enough for lifting me up. Your words of encouragement are BEYOND helpful and I pray I continue to feel this great for the rest of the pregnancy.

Over the weekend I had my first baby shower on the other side of the mountains and it was perfect! Side story: I went to college in this lovely town for nearly 3 years and in that time walked away with some of the best girl friends I could ask for. They were bridesmaids in my wedding, one was a maid of honor who now lives a little closer to me, and the other girls that joined us have been friends since the early days of college (I can't believe freshman year was SEVEN years ago!). Anyway, two of this lovely ladies still live in this town with their families and having a weekend with them was exactly what I needed.

Bestie, my mom and MIL loaded up Saturday morning and hit the high way for a 4 hour drive through the most beautiful driver EVER! I-70 is my most favorite drive in all of Colorado between Denver and Glenwood Springs. We had a snow storm last weekend that killed all our trees and so we missed out on all the colors. Check this out:

SO BEAUTIFUL!!!

Once we checked into our hotel we went to walk around the college. A TON has changed. They have built several new buildings and dorm halls. It looks great! Then we ventured down town to see some more beautiful colors and window shop for a bit. Later we met up at Ashley's house where they were recovering from a sad, SAD loss: OU vs Texas. Next time Boomers, next time! We watched her husband train their dog to fetch ducks that were not real and then headed down to the restaurant where we met up with Kathleen and her family. It was the best! The only thing missing was my dear hubby. He would have come had he not had to film a hockey game that night. Bestie and I then dropped the moms off at the hotel and watch Juno at Ashley's. I will be Juno for Halloween so it was a great way to do a little homework! What a cute movie!

The next day was baby shower day! We all took our time getting up and ready. Here is a pre-baby shower shot:

That top is one of my new Old Navy buys and I LOVE it! So then it was time to leave. We checked out of the hotel, loaded up the car and.....discovered a FLAT TIRE! Could this have been a WORSE day or time for this to happen?? I don't think so! MIL had to stay back until Road Side Rescue showed up to put the spare on and even though Ashley picked us up, I did not let anything fun happen until she got there nearly an hour later. We all felt so terrible it just was not right to play a game. So we just chatted which was great because I rarely get to see most of these girls that it was just the way it was supposed to be. MIL showed up and then it was time to start!!

Kathleen had a bunch of fun games planned! The first one we played was a 5 in 10 game where she gave us a category, like Diaper Brands, and name as many as we could in 10 seconds. It was hard! But I did win 2 of the 4 categories. Then we did this:

Kathleen had everyone guess how big around my belly is by TP squares and Jessica won! I am 10 1/2 so far...lol. Then Kathleen fed me baby food and I had to guess what it was:

First was squash, which I guessed was pumpkin, next was green beans, which I guessed was peas, and lastly was pears, which I guessed correctly!

After the games we opened gifts. I will post pictures of those later. I am going to put the nurser together and show some of those things off then. MIL got us a new crib mattress and we got a TON of new clothes! It was so wonderful!! I love these ladies so much!!

Some quick stats:

How far along? 25 weeks!! Seriously?! Where the heck is the time going!! I can't believe it!
Total weight gain/loss: Not sure...I have a weigh in today with the doctor so I am going to guess about 17 total...
Maternity clothes? YES! I really like my new Old Navy clothes. Too cute!
Stretch marks? none. :)
Sleep: Getting a little more uncomfortable. I wake up every time I roll over and that is annoying.
Best moment this week: Baby shower!
Movement:Lots. He was going nuts when my mom was talking to him on Friday night.
Food cravings: cookies, bbq chicken
Gender: BOY!!
Labor Signs: no way jose
Belly Button in or out? in, though not for long! that once deep space is now just a pot hole.
What I miss: a solid nights sleep
What I am looking forward to: everything! i can't wait to meet this little nugget.
Weekly Wisdom: Positive thinking and prayer really does lead to less tears.