Holding Back

>Ahh. I feel like I need to word vomit all over this page, for everyone to hear and feel what I'm going through, for someone to understand and walk beside me. But I can't. I mean...I won't. That is one of the downsides of having a public blog. I know I could very well get a private blog or just journal wherever, but I get so much joy out of actually sharing me with all of you, that writing for no one would not feel nearly as fulfilling or meaningful as to why I need to write.

A lot is going on. It's more than just being a working mom and more than leaving Logan. It's more than wanting to go back to school and more than finding other momma friends. So much more that if I allow myself to delve into it here and now, I may be making myself vulnerable to readers (unknown IRL readers, of course) who may not be ready for what I have to say.

What I WILL say, is that I am healthy. Am I happy? Not really...am I depressed? A little... am I going to be okay? Yes. It breaks my heart to say that I know more than a handfull of people who are struggling so much right now, for whatever reason, that it makes me wonder if the appocolypse is right around the corner (I kid...kind). But really...WTF God! I mean...EVERYONE has it hard right now and if you don't, I sure as heck hope you don't take anything for granted. My prayers are with everyone who has been going through tough spots and I thank you for praying over us. The bloggie bond is real and I feel so close to you, my readers. But there is a line I must not cross...not yet. HOWEVER, I would be more than happy to discuss things in a private email (in profile).

I want to lift each of you up this weekend as we head into the week before Christmas. I pray we are humbled by the reason, our Jesus Christ, and that we're all given peace in our troubles. Sometimes, I feel like all I do in my free time is pray and if you have ever felt like that, it's just as exhasuting as working! lol... Please have a wonderful weekend...we are heading out tonight on a DATE NIGHT to our company Christmas party. Today I have prayed that I will win a Kindle...shoot one up there for me! :)