>A Deeper Post

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I feel like I don't have much to write about lately so I am going to try and put something out there. Here goes:

I am not sure about you, but I am super excited about New Moon coming out next week! Hell no will I be going to the midnight showing. I can barely stay up past 10 these days and yes, my sleep is more important. So I have plans with bestie to see the movie on Sunday when neither of us are working. I also have every intention of squeezing my 7 month belly into my "Team Edward" tee shirt even if it means I will be layering tanks underneath. I would like to say that I am not your typical Twilight fan. I am not a "Twi-hard" (that just sounds dirty!). I read the first three books WAY before there was much hype going on. That was two summers ago and my other girlfriend, who is a 6th grand English teacher, turned me onto these which I then passed onto bestie. We share books like chicken pox. We find a good one, and it does not take long for us to beg the other to read it so we can just talk about how great it is. That was what happened with Twilight. The best part? I don't have to share Edward with either of these girls! Lol...they are both Jacob fans. I am just proud to say that all three of us were the ones driving the damn bandwagon, not the ones jumping on it. So in honor of the upcoming release, I have started to reread New Moon and surprised by how much I had forgotten.

Thanksgiving is coming up and I am really looking forward to our plans. This is one of my most favorite holidays. I am not a big fan of turkey, but everything else makes my mouth water just thinking about it! I make a mean green bean casserole, love sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, gravy and my grammy's stuffing. B and I have plans to see both my parents and his mom that day starting with my parents and grammy and then heading south to see his mom. We just pray the weather is not bad! It snowed about 8 inches last night and looks beautiful, but the roads are so nasty and I don't like going anywhere when the roads are bad. Call me a wimp, whatever.

The last week, like I said before, was not that fun. My back has been way our of wack and B has been wonderful in keeping the house picked up and rubbing the spot. It was getting better, but is now coming back. Not as bad, but totally there. This trimester has hit me hard. It literally feels like the day it started my body ached more, I'm more tired, less motivated (except for bursts of nesting at both work at home), and more weepy. I cry so much. I have never cried so much in my life and over the smallest things! I was talking about work and bam! There go the water works. B chopped that up to me being very hungry, which I was. Boy does he know me well! Baby boy is growing so much. My belly is huge and is only getting bigger by the week. I can feel his body when I touch my tummy. I am not too sure of his exact position or what it is I am pressing on, but I guess there is a butt under my belly button, he is head down and his legs and feet swing to my right. I get all these light, tickeling sensations in my hip bone which can only be his sweet little toes. I get elbow jabs that make me jump and out of left field there will be a roll around that makes the whole belly morph into something live. Yes, there is a life in me. WOW! He has pretty regular sleep and wake cycles now. For example, when I wake up, he wakes up and kicks and tells me and daddy he loves us. Then he goes back to sleep for a few hours until about 10 or 11am and is very subtle in his movements. I am not sure if this is because I am sitting at a desk or if he is just stirring because I'm starting to get hungry. Then he goes back to sleep until I get home around 3pm and once I lay down he is rolling around like crazy! This is his play time and sometimes he is up for several hours after that, usually until I go to bed around 9 or 10. If this is how he will be once he is born, I am totally fine with that! I am sure he wakes up at night while I am sleeping, but not enough that it wakes me up. I wonder most often about what his hair will be like. B is Irish and has dirty blonde hair and a red beard. I am a melting pot of ethnicity but the most predominant one is Cherokee. I have olive skin, hazel eyes, and dark hair. This combination could mean anything for our little man! Only 11 more weeks and we will get to touch his soft head and kiss those sweet toes!

I have a rather odd fear. It may not be odd for you, but to me, it does not make sense. I have been taking care of kids and babies for as long as I can remember. I was 9 when two of my cousins were born just a few months apart and by the time I was 12 I was taking care of 2 month old twins--by myself. So my fear? That I won't know what I'm doing when my own child is placed in my arms! I know that for most, including B, that is a totally normal fear but I feel like I should be confident about my skills. For some reason that fear is real for me as well and I hope that once baby boy is here that will all go out the window and we will all settle in nicely together. I know that will happen. B is determined to do and learn everything. It is so wonderful!

That's it for this update. Happy Sunday!